What are the best/worst way to treat a sub?

What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (Full Version)

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QueenLivia -> What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/27/2006 6:30:08 PM)
Greetings, I would like to create a good experience for my sub and I. Thus, I would like to ask other Subs out there, what actions or method of activity would please or displease you the most and why? What would compel you to return to your Dom or not return at all? What is considered a total NO NO. Thank you

littlesarbonn -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/27/2006 6:49:15 PM)
For me, a lot of what would cause me to take the relationship seriously and return (as mentioned in the original post) is a true effort at exercising control and serious sincerity about what you really want from this type of relationship. Way too often I was treated as some kind of trophy to be won, but once obtained, she had no idea what to do with me. Because of many of my past writings and my direct style of displaying my sincerity in this discipline, I have often been seen as someone that a woman would think "now that's the kind of slave I want", but that was about as far as the original thought went. It's almost as if the perfect slave (which, no, I am not claiming to be) will make for the perfect relationship because of a belief that everything else will fall into place. So, what would do it for me? Someone who takes charge from the start and actually means it. No games. No "let's see where things go and then we'll figure it out" wishy washy-ness. For me, it's not a specific act that a woman performs that makes me want to return to her each and every time. It's the attitude and the belief that she's as real as I am. It's bizarre, but while that sounds like such a little thing, it's often the hardest thing to actually find.

juliaoceania -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/27/2006 7:54:00 PM)
No Nos 1) Do not lie to me 2) Tell me what I need to know in order to be a consenting submissive. This means do not keep from me something that would make me withdraw my consent... sins of omission piss me off 3) Do not tell me that my limits are ok just to turn around and demand that I withdraw them. This is a fairly short list of things that will make me run Things that make me wanna stay? 1) Trusting me emotionally. 2) Making me feel safe physically and emotionally

SusanofO -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/27/2006 8:03:37 PM)
It's always nice to feel protected (to feel that way, I have to trust someone implicity. It's nice if they have big fat muscles, but trust will do it better). Then I promise to be putty in their hands. Also if they are nice (wish I could be more descriptive on that, but I classify it as being decent to others). There's an old joke that one of the reasons most Pisceans rarely lack for a date is because they have absolutely no sense of discrimination, he. I beg to differ - we can be quite discerning (it just has to be about something we consider important). Being intentionally cruel for cruelty's sake (outside a scene or consensual "understanding") is a big NO. Talking to me as if I am borderline intelligence-challenged, or in Kindergarten doesn't go over well most of the time (I'm 46 years old). I might like doing a Daddy-daughter scene but we'd have to agree on it first. - Susan

JessieMe -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/27/2006 8:23:23 PM)
Make me want to stay??? Stay on top of things Dont let the small things pass or they will build up to big things Talk to me (dirty, sweet, compassionate, dominant, controlling, whatever.. just talk) Dont ever make me feel as if you are bored with me Make me want to go??? Spend more time with subs you dont have instead of the one you do Make me feel as if my pleasing you is a given and not a joy to you Stop talking

firstsub -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/27/2006 8:35:56 PM)
Do You want honesty, patience, understanding, basic common sense and manners? Do You need a caring, sensitive, personally interested, good sense of humor, friendly partner? The Good Book says: TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WISH TO BE TREATED. The world says: What goes around comes around. Who said: What you give out you get back two fold.....lol i think Y\you get my drift.....doesn't matter whether Dom or sub

Taylore -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/27/2006 9:11:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: QueenLivia Greetings, I would like to create a good experience for my sub and I. Thus, I would like to ask other Subs out there, what actions or method of activity would please or displease you the most and why? What would compel you to return to your Dom or not return at all? What is considered a total NO NO. Thank you Any action that Master wishes is pleasing. I am his to do with as he pleases, and in doing so, I am pleased.

CrappyDom -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/27/2006 9:13:50 PM)
When I really want to degrade a woman, want her to feel like she is such a lowly piece of shit she shouldn't belong to the human race...I just force her to vote Republican.

juliaoceania -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/27/2006 9:26:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom When I really want to degrade a woman, want her to feel like she is such a lowly piece of shit she shouldn't belong to the human race...I just force her to vote Republican. This is why I have that as a hard limit... I just am not that into humiliation, what can I say other than that?

cacodylic -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/27/2006 9:43:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom When I really want to degrade a woman, want her to feel like she is such a lowly piece of shit she shouldn't belong to the human race...I just force her to vote Republican. LOL, but have you considered that, in doing so, you are helping to degrade 99% of the human race r/l 24/7?

atherfeet -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/27/2006 10:10:46 PM)
Can't stop laughing ... okay, CrappyDom, i don't gravitate toward boys at all, but i kneel before You ... You are the comedy Master!!!!

cuddleheart50 -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/28/2006 3:26:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom When I really want to degrade a woman, want her to feel like she is such a lowly piece of shit she shouldn't belong to the human race...I just force her to vote Republican. I like your style...lol

bandit25 -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/28/2006 3:39:56 AM)
Things that make me want to stay? A sense of humor! About the world, me and yourself. Don't take everything so seriously that what should be enjoyable, turns out grim. Open up to me. Like Julia said, tell me what I need to know in order to be a good submissive to you. Don't be afraid to treat me well. I won't think less of you if you are kind, polite, nice to me. Treat me like a person,. not an object. Let me know when I've done something particularly pleasing. I'll want to repeat it or build on it. Make me feel safe...that this is where I belong and need to be. Things that make me run? Lie to me Treat me like shit Never say thanks or give me that smile that says thanks or I noticed what you did. There's more, but you get the idea.

SenseofBelonging -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/28/2006 4:10:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn For me, a lot of what would cause me to take the relationship seriously and return (as mentioned in the original post) is a true effort at exercising control and serious sincerity about what you really want from this type of relationship. Way too often I was treated as some kind of trophy to be won, but once obtained, she had no idea what to do with me. Because of many of my past writings and my direct style of displaying my sincerity in this discipline, I have often been seen as someone that a woman would think "now that's the kind of slave I want", but that was about as far as the original thought went. It's almost as if the perfect slave (which, no, I am not claiming to be) will make for the perfect relationship because of a belief that everything else will fall into place. So, what would do it for me? Someone who takes charge from the start and actually means it. No games. No "let's see where things go and then we'll figure it out" wishy washy-ness. For me, it's not a specific act that a woman performs that makes me want to return to her each and every time. It's the attitude and the belief that she's as real as I am. It's bizarre, but while that sounds like such a little thing, it's often the hardest thing to actually find. What he said

smilezz -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/28/2006 5:01:38 AM)
<SCREAMZ> ack!! You Evil Man!!!!

littleone35 -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/28/2006 5:52:02 AM)
In my case i want to come back because he treats me with love, honesty and respect. Also he makes me feel safe and protected noone messes with his sub. The worst way to treat a sub is to abuse her and refuse to respect her hard limits. Matt's littleone

akisha -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/28/2006 8:16:33 AM)
I'm going to say that no one can actually answer this for you. To make the experience good for the sub then you need to know what "Your" sub likes and dislikes. Does he or she like pain? Does he or she like humiliation? Does he or she like to be treated like an animal? Does he or she like to be a pampered princess? The list just goes on and on. I love wax play. Other subs/slaves try it and go well that sucks why would you want to do that? I have a friend that likes to be slapped in the face. Personally being hit in the face kills ever submissive thought in my head and you are likely to get slammed against a wall with my hand around your throat. The best thing you can do is sit and talk with your submissive and find out how they feel about things. The only advise i would give is listen to your partner as you are playing, watch for signs of distress or for very positive responses. Learn the person you are playing and that's the best you can do.

perverseangelic -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/28/2006 2:08:03 PM)
Be -clear- about your expecations. If you find you are not quite sure what you will expect of him/her, sit down and think about it. Communicate what your girl/boy is expected to do, and if those expectations change, communicate that too. In the same vein, have your girl/boy repete back your expectations to you as -they heared it-. If they are off base, clarify till you are on the same page.

diamonddreamlove -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/29/2006 6:57:04 PM)
My thoughts were stated by both julia and bandit. I can't write them better so refer You to their replies.

gardenbluebird -> RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? (6/29/2006 9:19:05 PM)
In order for me to want to come back a Dominant has to display honor and integrity, treat me like a lady in public and ravish me in private. Most of all he has to pay attention to me. Specific things i enjoy are opportunities to do useful or pleasureable tasks for him - such a serve a meal or give a massage. i like to do those things, but his gratitude for my service means a lot too. Of course there is playtime too, and it means a lot when i see that a scene has been specific created for needs or interests that i have talked about. Examples of this would be destressing with a nice flogging, continuing on a theme that i clearly enjoyed, or him asking about my fantasies and setting up scene around one.

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