I want to serve HIM....but............

I want to serve HIM....but............ (Full Version)

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blossombutterfly -> I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/11/2013 5:27:20 PM)
I want to serve HIm. When I am on my way to Him I am in bliss. When I am here, I feel so wanted and love HIM. He is kind, cruel, analytical. just plain awesome. our journey has changed in many ways. I want to serve HIM. As soon as i leave to go to work or where ever I must go....it stops. Even when I wore His collar....it didn't completely stop with that...but my feelings are subdued. How do I keep them where THey are when I am with HIM? what must I do? I CAN'T shut out the "vanilla" part of my life. is there a balance? Is it because I am not sure that I wont' need more (of HIM, more than HIM, just plain more) like his ex pat also? That HE is not enough. Even though He makes me feel like no other has..or probably will. not that others can't make me feel just not quite like HE does. HOw do I keep the feelings I have with HIM when I am not with HIM? blossom

Missokyst -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/11/2013 6:31:34 PM)
The balance is living life as you need to live it. At work you shouldn't be focusing on him. At school you shouldn't be focusing on him. When you are with him you give your all. I guess I am not sure what you are asking because when I love someone I love them ALL the time. I just don't need to focus on loving him to prove to myself I love him. It stays even in the mundane hours of the day without trying. quote: ORIGINAL: blossombutterfly I want to serve HIm. When I am on my way to Him I am in bliss. When I am here, I feel so wanted and love HIM. He is kind, cruel, analytical. just plain awesome. our journey has changed in many ways. I want to serve HIM. As soon as i leave to go to work or where ever I must go....it stops. Even when I wore His collar....it didn't completely stop with that...but my feelings are subdued. How do I keep them where THey are when I am with HIM? what must I do? I CAN'T shut out the "vanilla" part of my life. is there a balance? Is it because I am not sure that I wont' need more (of HIM, more than HIM, just plain more) like his ex pat also? That HE is not enough. Even though He makes me feel like no other has..or probably will. not that others can't make me feel just not quite like HE does. HOw do I keep the feelings I have with HIM when I am not with HIM? blossom

blossombutterfly -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/11/2013 6:38:26 PM)
so I see the issue in my head is that possibly I dont want Him after all....if it isn't ALL the time then wth... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

DarkSteven -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/11/2013 7:15:48 PM)
You're 42. You're behaving like a teenage girl with her first crush. It's called sub frenzy. It'll pass, and hopefully you'll be left with something more substantial than infatuation.

tammystarm -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/11/2013 7:22:35 PM)
Must find balance. If you cannot be very happy without him in your vanilla life, it will never work. I know, as soon as I start needing Arturas to be happy is when we almost don't make it. Luckily , W/we are strong and figure it out. Sometimes it can be painful.

poise -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/11/2013 7:23:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blossombutterfly so I see the issue in my head is that possibly I dont want Him after all.... if it isn't ALL the time then wth... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm From what I understand in his journals. you just recently joined him in an existing relationship, one in which went sour not too long ago, and all 3 of you went your separate ways. According to him, you are now both keeping each other at arms length (except for play) until you both can learn to trust each other. It's probably best right now that you aren't obsessed with him 24/7.

blossombutterfly -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/11/2013 7:24:19 PM)
thank you

littlewonder -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/11/2013 8:25:21 PM)
You aren't obsessed with him because he hurt you. Why would you obsess over someone you don't trust? Personally if I don't trust someone I can't love them and therefore there would be no obsession.

blossombutterfly -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/11/2013 8:29:30 PM)
i don't think i am obsessed with HIm. o possibly a bit. i trust him. he wouldn't hurt me...i hurt him..he still loves me....

blossombutterfly -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/11/2013 8:34:29 PM)
o obsessed with 24/7 we're communicating more, just awesome. just wanted to know something...and I believe that my thoughts have turned to the right track on a few things with HIM and I.

chatterbox24 -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/12/2013 5:21:52 AM)
Sounds balanced to me. Trust me you don't want IT overflowing into everything, taking your focus from other things. Careful what you ask for, it is no reward. One day you might find yourself begging to be released from it.

Toysinbabeland -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/12/2013 5:30:20 AM)
If you want to serve someone, the best thing you can do is start by giving them a well balanced and healthy servant. Focus on being well rounded and not simply obsessing about him during your vanilla life or you will have nothing of value to submit but a vapid mind. Good luck.

DesFIP -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/12/2013 8:45:40 AM)
Sub frenzy and/or new relationship energy. You shouldn't want to feel like this all the time. Because if you're concentrating on him and not the other drivers, you could cause an accident. Concentrating on him all the time means you'll do a poor job and get fired. Are any of these good outcomes in your opinion? You need balance.

OsideGirl -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/12/2013 8:52:20 AM)
Des is right. You're in a midst of a frenzy. The reality is that you have to have the vanilla in your life. There will always be responsibilities in life. You need to figure out what that balance is or you're going to end up in a miserable place. Your relationships will always disappoint you and your vanilla life will be sacrificed in your quest for an orgasm.

blossombutterfly -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/12/2013 3:24:02 PM)
Thank you all sooo much!! This is what I need...BALANCE. until then it is just a frenzy! :) which is fun but too crazy!! I don't want to sacrifice any part of my life. I am very thankful to you all for you messages! Blossom!

Ravensnake -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/13/2013 1:36:31 AM)
Not heard the term but agree with the assessment. Subs can be their own worst enemy in their eagerness to please. Slow down, balance your life or you could lose him......and/or your job. quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven You're 42. You're behaving like a teenage girl with her first crush. It's called sub frenzy. It'll pass, and hopefully you'll be left with something more substantial than infatuation.

blossombutterfly -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/13/2013 8:22:54 AM)
Not heard the term but agree with the assessment. not sure what heard the term is but I also agree with the assessment. Sir and I communicate very well and He knows how I am feeling and we are working on the balance that I need. again, I am thankful for all your messages. blossom

Ravensnake -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/13/2013 1:37:37 PM)
If you communicate well, I'm sure you'll be fine. I wish you both all the best on your journey together. quote: ORIGINAL: blossombutterfly Sir and I communicate very well and He knows how I am feeling and we are working on the balance that I need. again, I am thankful for all your messages. blossom

jola37 -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/14/2013 3:54:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl your vanilla life will be sacrificed in your quest for an orgasm. my god I've done too much of that in my life, not really knowing what I was doing :-(

goodgirlmary -> RE: I want to serve HIM....but............ (7/14/2013 5:47:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Des is right. You're in a midst of a frenzy. The reality is that you have to have the vanilla in your life. There will always be responsibilities in life. You need to figure out what that balance is or you're going to end up in a miserable place. Your relationships will always disappoint you and your vanilla life will be sacrificed in your quest for an orgasm. this.

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