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Do Doms Prefer To Initiate Contact? - 11/14/2004 11:56:58 AM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
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I'm not new to BDSM, and have explored munches, play parties and sites such as this one to meet dominant partners. I've been moderately successful, but have yet to connect with my 'match'.

Although I am very submissive when in a relationship I'm very assertive about searching out and approaching dominants who interest me. Not pushy or rude, just not afraid to make the first contact and to flirt.

Is this a mistake on my part? Do most dominants prefer to approach first?

I realize all doms are not the same, but I'm wondering what the preference is, in general.

thanks for taking the time to enlighten me.

Cin




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RE: Do Doms Prefer To Initiate Contact? - 11/14/2004 11:59:47 AM   
Yankeestick


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You can approach me first anytime you want.

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RE: Do Doms Prefer To Initiate Contact? - 11/14/2004 12:56:55 PM   
sadistic


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When it comes to looking at people on sites like this I tend to ignore dom/sub aspects to start with, except maybe to see if the other party lists common tastes upon their profile. If it's going to be it's going to be.

So I treat each new message more as a new friend potential, rather than a new partner.

That makes me not really care too much who initiates the contact, if it's me it's because I like the sound of them from a friend and play partner point of view - if it's them I'm flattered because there are a lot of people around and I'm only average ;)

Pushy is as pushy does ...


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RE: Do Doms Prefer To Initiate Contact? - 11/14/2004 1:08:53 PM   
happypervert


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From: Scranton, PA
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Personally I like having gals contact me. Sure beats sending out notes and getting a polite "thanks but no thanks" or no response at all by ladies who are overwhelmed by trolls.

Given that you have the initiative to make such contacts, I'd guess you might not be a good match for a guy who doesn't like that. So go for it and good luck!

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RE: Do Doms Prefer To Initiate Contact? - 11/14/2004 2:32:38 PM   
Yankeestick


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quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

Personally I like having gals contact me. Sure beats sending out notes and getting a polite "thanks but no thanks" or no response at all by ladies who are overwhelmed by trolls.


Hear, hear.

That said, Cin, I offer you this little tip which is probably not news to you:

Nothing on God's good earth swells more quickly than a dom's ego.

So - if you're concerned that a straight ahead approach might blow your contact altogether (and with some it might) - you really can't lose with a gentle flick of the tongue on the underside of it.

Happy hunting -

Yankeestick


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RE: Do Doms Prefer To Initiate Contact? - 11/14/2004 7:22:34 PM   
Lordandmaster


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No, because any dom who is going to be put off by the fact that you contacted him first probably isn't a dom you're going to want to get to know anyway.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

Although I am very submissive when in a relationship I'm very assertive about searching out and approaching dominants who interest me. Not pushy or rude, just not afraid to make the first contact and to flirt.

Is this a mistake on my part?


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RE: Do Doms Prefer To Initiate Contact? - 11/14/2004 10:42:33 PM   
Estring


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If my slave hadn't contacted me, we probably wouldn't have met. That's what the profile is there for. If someone likes what they see, they can let you know.

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RE: Do Doms Prefer To Initiate Contact? - 11/15/2004 9:38:47 AM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
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From: Santiago, Chile
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I wouldn't be with my current girl if she handn't talked to me first.

(in brief) I'm living in a spanish speaking country, and my spanish is terrible (I speak english all day for work.) In social settings, I tend not to approach other people. Having bluish eyes and lighter color hair makes me stick out like a man at a lingere party. If people speak english, they often approach me.

As for online experiences, I love receiving email out of the blue - even if the person isn't necessarily what I am looking for.

Stephan

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RE: Do Doms Prefer To Initiate Contact? - 11/15/2004 6:08:33 PM   
Nvernilla


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Well I've had relationships start both ways that were good I think you just kind of play it by ear...Mike

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RE: Do Doms Prefer To Initiate Contact? - 11/15/2004 11:21:41 PM   
TaurusMCMLVIII


Posts: 88
Joined: 1/20/2004
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quote:

Is this a mistake on my part? Do most dominants prefer to approach first?

This is not a mistake. Most, if not all, Doms (at least the ones worth while) would not be offended when approached by a submissive.

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