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Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 7/23/2013 2:10:59 PM

Discocurious

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/5/2013
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Am I alone in thinking that my personal preference to enjoy switching roles is rare amongst this community, which in itself is a small proportion of society as a whole?

Yet again I'm starting to feel different from the rest...

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"I find that quoting oneself is one of the most arrogant ways one could imagine to spend one's time." - Discocurious

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RE: Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 7/23/2013 2:16:49 PM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
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It's okay to be different. You do what you want to do and how you want to do it. I regard myself as being primarily a Dom, but here's a secret: my first experiences in the scene were as a bottom. I didn't like it, and I eventually found my center of gravity. Some folks like to identify with one or the other, and it's no different or better that way. Switches can and do enjoy the best of both worlds, so don't worry about it.

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RE: Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 7/23/2013 11:28:54 PM

SoulAlloy

Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
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To be honest I wouldn't say it's rare, I've met a lot of switches in various tendencies (e.g. i'd say I was around 93% sub 7% top)

As MasterCaneman says also, a lot of people start one way and then decide it's not for them anymore, or in some cases that they prefer being in control but with the right inspiration would sub again. (and vice versa of course)

Switching roles with the same partner I've heard less of but again not really unheard of, I've done it myself in the past.

The UK scene is ever growing, I'd be very surprised if you didn't encounter more switches as you went along

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RE: Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 8/8/2013 4:50:02 PM

misfittens

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/29/2012
Status: offline

I certainly am not the end all be all in experience with all things BDSM but the few partners I've fooled around with kink wise for the most part we switched roles very frequently. Statistics mean little to the individual, you know what you are about, find one person who clicks, or several people, whatever you're into.

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

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RE: Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 8/8/2013 5:40:36 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

No, you aren't alone. The way I see it is that if it makes you (or me...Im a switch too) happy, that's all that matters. It's not all black and white, so do what makes you happy and not worry too much about unimportant things like whether you are in a minority.

I have run the gamut during my years in this. Started out submissive. Didnt quite feel like it fit and realized I was maybe a bit too dominant to be submissive, so I've spent the vast majority of my time as a dominant female. I happened to meet the right guy over a year ago and we both opened each other's eyes to switching. We are able to switch with each other.

Best piece of advice I can give is to accept yourself or all that you are

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RE: Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 10/6/2013 11:34:09 PM

NINacide

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/8/2009
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I used to ID my self as Dom, but due to stresses in my current life I have been switching lately because I need to unwind and being a bottom and receiving attention has been satisfying me more. Partly I think I got tired and lazy and wanted my partner to lead so that I could take a break from being in charge of my daily responsibilities.

(in reply to Discocurious)

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RE: Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 10/7/2013 6:07:55 AM

SweetAnise

Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
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You're unique and being unique is beautiful. People tend to judge instead of getting to know a person. They don't ask questions that would probably help them better understand what kind of switch/sub/Dom the person may or wishes to be. So it makes things a little more difficult to find the right fit. :)

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RE: Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 10/7/2013 7:47:28 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

From my experiences online I'd say there is some prejudice against switches there, real time I've seen that much less.

Not believing switches exist or not understanding them just tells me the person is new and has much to learn. I use it as a weeding out process.

Since it's my opinion that everyone has both a dom and sub side, I say no, you're not in the minority.

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RE: Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 10/11/2013 10:22:00 PM

charmedlife

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/9/2013
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You are not alone. I switch often with my partner. I liked the best of both worlds. To each their own though.

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RE: Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 10/12/2013 5:48:48 AM

Ocontrolrequired

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/5/2013
Status: offline

As a fellow switch, being confined to only the role of a Dom or a sub permanantly... is.....not appealing in any possible way. Life is so full of options, why pick just one and be done?

I don't think being a switch is of the minority label. If I were to count how many so called Dom women I've met who were actually "closet switches" .... I'd need more than my fingers and toes....

< Message edited by Ocontrolrequired -- 10/12/2013 6:25:16 AM >

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RE: Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 10/16/2013 6:35:30 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

From my experiences online I'd say there is some prejudice against switches there, real time I've seen that much less.

This. ^^^^

I started out as a sub for a couple years, then switched for about a year and, after that, felt that I was swinging entirely over to the Domme side where I stayed for the better part of two years(not quite two). Now I'm realizing I am, after all, a switch. Change is the only constant I like to say.

NBMG

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RE: Switch - A sub category of a sub category... - 10/16/2013 8:57:37 PM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
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Frankly, I don't know how you can know for sure what you are until you've experienced both Topping and bottoming to one extent or another.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

From my experiences online I'd say there is some prejudice against switches there, real time I've seen that much less.

{Insert}.... it's my opinion that everyone has both a dom and sub side

Now I'm realizing I am, after all, a switch.

I feel as though I met my bottoming quota in my past vanilla relationships and that was far more than enough, already. There are too many people who get stuck with a false mental picture of what being a Dominant or submissive is. I learned a long time ago, dealing with statistical data analysis that there is rarely ever 100% of anything. Even the purest solid gold is rated at 99.99% purity. I'm willing to concede I might possibly be at a 80/20 ratio, although my own mental picture is more like 90/10. I know I don't want to be tied up or restrained, no impact play unless it was a playful spanking, sparingly. Basically, other than my kinks, I don't know that I have any fetishes. I have preferences in my partner (some more fixed, others are negotiable) which don't exactly constitute a fetish. I hate doing oral unless it's for the purposes of Tease & Denial or Edging. If vanilla sex for a woman is considered by some to being Topped, then my ratio changes (my definition of which is more liberal than strictly vaginal copulation) insofar as others would define it.

I've heard it said that being a switch is the equivalent of being bisexual, but I don't believe that's an appropriate comparison. I could see myself with a switch partner if we were compatible, whereas I would never in a million years want to have a bisexual partner. I would never want to put myself in the position of not being all that my partner wanted or needed in his partner; it's as simple as that.

It may require maturity and experience to know for sure where you stand with yourself. IMO, the most important thing is to be honest and not feel ashamed one way or the other where the cards might fall.

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