Seems there is a problem in London England.... (Full Version)

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jlf1961 -> Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 8:27:49 AM)

quote:

London Fire Brigade reveals rise in handcuff callouts

Firefighters in London have been called to assist people who have become stuck in objects such as handcuffs and toilet seats more than 1,300 times in the last three years.

London Fire Brigade said each incident cost taxpayers some £290, meaning the mishaps have cost at least £377,000.

Emergency callouts included men with their genitals stuck in a toaster and a vacuum cleaner.

The brigade urged people to think carefully before calling 999.
Source


Now, admittedly I have tried to find out about similar calls to the NYFD, and a few other cities, however, I have not found any actual numbers.

Now, I can understand, sort of anyway, genitals in a vacuum cleaner, but a toaster?




FrostedFlake -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 9:24:26 AM)

There is always another way to... have a good time...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlj6bH4xNeo




Moonlightmaddnes -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 9:27:51 AM)

In a toaster!!!???!!!!! Bahahahahahahaha, and OMG owe! Only one thing I know that toasters do and that is they get really hot!!




kalikshama -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 10:23:06 AM)

I was stuck in handcuffs last night [8D]




DesFIP -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 1:19:30 PM)

Show off!

All I was stuck in was rope.

If it was just handcuff calls, I would have assumed 50 Shades. But toasters? Not to mention, why the hell didn't they unplug the toaster and drive to the hospital like a normal person?

Although perhaps normal isn't the right word since we're talking toaster sex.




MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 1:45:47 PM)

Now don't be machinist. It's ok if the toaster consented ...




DomKen -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 2:26:35 PM)

Find an ER doc or nurse and ask them about the variety of stuff removed from people's rectums. I thought it was a gag but a friend showed me the very clearly bagged and tagged items in their storage.




DomMeinCT -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 2:28:33 PM)

I have a friend who is an ER nurse and they operated on a guy with a trout stuck up his bum.




tj444 -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 2:36:40 PM)

Jeff.. what is this facination you have with the UK lately??? [:D]




LadyPact -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 2:48:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Show off!

All I was stuck in was rope.

If it was just handcuff calls, I would have assumed 50 Shades. But toasters? Not to mention, why the hell didn't they unplug the toaster and drive to the hospital like a normal person?

Although perhaps normal isn't the right word since we're talking toaster sex.

If the guy left the toaster plugged in, meaning his gonads were singed/scorched by the hot metal, the guy probably wasn't driving anywhere because it would be the equivalent to receiving a branding on the scrotum. Even without the toaster being plugged in, the guy invited himself to a ball busting that wasn't a good idea from a physics level.

Either way, I don't want anybody that stupid actually driving.





jlf1961 -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 3:07:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

Jeff.. what is this facination you have with the UK lately??? [:D]


It stems from strange things popping up on my international news feed.

First there was a story about the approval rating of the royal family in the UK. Then this, and of course there is a story concerning the last name of William and Kate, which after I read the story and all the different surnames that could be chosen, I had a headache and had decided that and decided the poor kid might as well pick Smythe, or Mountbatten, or Wonka for that matter.

As for the London Fire Department story, the LA Times has picked it up.




PeonForHer -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 4:14:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

I have a friend who is an ER nurse and they operated on a guy with a trout stuck up his bum.



Oh, those ER people share those experiences with great enthusiasm. I heard of one recently where a farmer swallowed a pill designed to give some extra vim when it came to 'harvesting' the semen of stallions to give to the mares. He couldn't lose his painfully rock-hard erection. At the hospital they sedated him and in the morning he woke up with his knob still hard and a little Union Jack flag on a cocktail stick sticking up from the top of it.




Moonlightmaddnes -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 4:21:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

quote:

London Fire Brigade reveals rise in handcuff callouts

Firefighters in London have been called to assist people who have become stuck in objects such as handcuffs and toilet seats more than 1,300 times in the last three years.

London Fire Brigade said each incident cost taxpayers some £290, meaning the mishaps have cost at least £377,000.

Emergency callouts included men with their genitals stuck in a toaster and a vacuum cleaner.

The brigade urged people to think carefully before calling 999.
Source


Now, admittedly I have tried to find out about similar calls to the NYFD, and a few other cities, however, I have not found any actual numbers.

Now, I can understand, sort of anyway, genitals in a vacuum cleaner, but a toaster?


ROFL I just read this to dear husband and he cringed and held himself as he said what the hell are they doing with a toaster!




MrRodgers -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 4:34:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

Now don't be machinist. It's ok if the toaster consented ...

Yea but I don't even like to...think about it. The wife just has to file for seperation over that one.




DarkSteven -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 7:42:25 PM)



[quote

The brigade urged people to think carefully before calling 999.

[/quote]

If they have a trout stuck up their ass or their balls in a toaster, the time for thinking carefully has clearly passed.




WebWanderer -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 7:48:46 PM)

Methinks it's got something to do with crappy novels like "50 Shades of Grey" that inspire vanillas to be adventurous but don't exactly have a "you screwed up, now what?" section at the end. If only those Brits had read my book on self-bondage - they would've saved so much money and public humiliation! [;)]




MasterCaneman -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/29/2013 8:57:22 PM)

Here's a couple "toasters" I wouldn't mind having Mr. Happy stuck in...



[image]local://upfiles/1614272/7177B00ED2DD4F5086E08C70830F1DBA.jpg[/image]

So say we all! Rowr...




Apocalypso -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/30/2013 8:31:33 AM)

A representative of the fire brigade explains the gravitas of the situation. While trying not to obviously snigger. http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/jul/30/penis-toaster-message-fire-brigade-fiftyshadesofred




jola37 -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/30/2013 8:44:34 AM)

is it even possible to get a trout up ones bottom ??




Apocalypso -> RE: Seems there is a problem in London England.... (7/30/2013 8:46:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jola37

is it even possible to get a trout up ones bottom ??

Ask Led Zeppelin. I believe they're the experts on fish based shenanigans.




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