Distancing ones self and getting attached

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Distancing ones self and getting attached - 6/28/2006 11:48:29 PM

Wild1sCatherine

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/28/2006
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how does one distance themselves from their sub? to think? to sort through feelings, the "typical" view is that the subs are the ones that are allowed to get attached but not the Dom/me, well i have a problem lol been a sub but am now a Switch/Domme and am getting attached to my boy. . . little problem though is that i dont feel like i am getting the full story from him about his feelings, i have made sure i ask him often as he tends not to bother telling me, but i feel like the falling is one sided. . . Me for him. . . . and it scares me, so how do i stop the falling and keep the neutralness going?we discussed my being a switch before we started, that i would sometimes just need to be beaten by another. . . its been almost seven months. . . but sometimes i feel like it gets in the way and i am just holding him back from being himself. . . .

damn i dont even know what the point of me writing this thread was lol
so i guess im just trying to ask is how do people know things are going to work? before al of a sudden its been two years and then one or the other party realises that things just are not right?

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RE: Distancing ones self and getting attached - 6/29/2006 5:25:53 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
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Don't fall into the fallacy that a dominant shouldn't become attached to his/her submissive. It's a relationship, not a doctor's visit. That is right for some people, but it isn't carved in stone for all people. Do what feels right for you. Forget what anyone else or society tells you.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Wild1sCatherine)

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RE: Distancing ones self and getting attached - 6/29/2006 5:48:09 AM

MHOO314

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Joined: 9/26/2004
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There is no more sure test in the "life" than there is in vanilla---people are human with human emotions--however, do not make the mistake of thinking BDSM will provide more guarantees, it won't. You cannot command someone to love you.

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to Wild1sCatherine)

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RE: Distancing ones self and getting attached - 6/29/2006 6:34:15 AM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
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I agree with the wise MH here. The issues that you are dealing with seem to be ones that would be present in any relationship...a vanilla one even. Work the relationship out without worrying too much about BDSM roles. since you are a switch and flexible, that part might take care of itself, once the relationship is clear.

Smythe

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

There is no more sure test in the "life" than there is in vanilla---people are human with human emotions--however, do not make the mistake of thinking BDSM will provide more guarantees, it won't. You cannot command someone to love you.

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Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to MHOO314)

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RE: Distancing ones self and getting attached - 6/30/2006 4:25:35 AM

Wild1sCatherine

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/28/2006
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smiles thanks everyone for their replies. . . smiles i think we managed to sort it, i sat down with my sub and told him what i needed and came through things are looking up. ..

(in reply to Smythe)

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