In the town of Dusty Spate
The local preacher did ruminate
That sin and pleasure did conflate
And thus together would negate
A soul’s trip to Heaven’s gate

This he sought to communicate
To everyone above age eight
Alas too few took heed and did not abate
From sin’s deadly turn of fate
No matter how much he did berate

“The laws,” he cried, we must then update”
“It’s for your own good” he did loudly state
And thus he began to agitate
To banish sin with the law’s heavy weight
And restore purity to the town of Dusty Spate

In a righteous psychological state
His followers did participate
With letters and protests and much debate
And upon the next election date
The preacher they did elevate

“As your Mayor” he did relate
“And with a council majority of eight”
“We hereby now legislate”
“That morality return to Dusty Spate”
“Let all take heed and elate”

But few paid heed to political hate
But carried on with their life sedate
Until the latest news update
Of a man’s arrest the authorities did actuate
His crime they said, “he did masturbate”

In the pubs and cafes’ people became irate
“NOW YOU CAN’T EVEN MASTURBATE?”
A mob soon formed by the jailhouse gate
With the intention to liberate
The man who did nothing more than masturbate.

“IN TREEDUM’S LAME” they did misstate
Because they did intoxicate
Before they proceeded to desecrate
The local jail of Dusty Spate
And they freed the man who did masturbate.

“We must free our town from this hate”
Proclaimed the man who did masturbate
“Now on to the Mayor’s house to mediate”
The repeal of what he did legislate
That made it illegal to masturbate

But the Mayor and his council of eight
Did hear the commotion at the jailhouse gate
And feared the mob would not abate
Or be willing to negotiate
And so they fled from Dusty Spate

“Hooray” cried the town in a joyous state
“Let us forevermore negate”
“These mean spirited laws of hate”
“That masquerade as a moral state”
“And make us all so damn irate.”

And now this tale that I did create
Must cease but one last item I will relate
A new election was put on the slate
And the town did elevate
The man who did masturbate