RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (Full Version)

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OsideGirl -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 4:36:20 PM)

So, let me guess.....

You've never met this man face to face.

Yep, he's a scammer for asking for money.....but you don't get a free pass for making the crappy decision to send money to a complete stranger. He didn't force you to send the money, so the fact that you gave it to him is entirely on you.

You might want to take a step back and figure out why you made this bad decision before getting involved again. You need to take responsibility for your mistakes.

And lastly, blacklisting in your journal is against the TOS of this site.




angelikaJ -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 5:33:22 PM)

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO OTHER USERS FOR ANY REASON!

Does that look at all familiar to you?

It really should.

There are plenty of people who will use any dating website to try and scam money by manipulating people's hearts.
It is not a dominant thing or a submissive thing.
It is a scuzzy human being thing.

I will add that while it is possible to meet someone online and have it be reciprocal and turn out wonderfully for both parties, that is not the general reality.

The reality is that until you meet someone face-to-face you do not know them at all.
They are a stranger.

Word to the wiser you: do not invest your whole heart to strangers.



incubusboy -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 5:55:46 PM)

I'm new in here, but not new to human relationships. And MOM47, typing and skyping is not a relationship. It is a computer game at most. Just consider, that if you typed what you've typed to whatzis and received exactly the same texts back, but from an automated site, there would be NO DIFFERENCE in your experience. In fact, the requests for money make yours LESS like a relationship and more like a Farmville account. You may have heard, those farmers, even the cash customers, never actually get any milk, meat, or vegetables out of their farms. Because they are not farms. They are games that call themselves farms. You are not in a relationship. Not half of one. Not a whisper. You are alone in your room, typing.



Lucylastic -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 5:58:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: incubusboy

I'm new in here, but not new to human relationships. And MOM47, typing and skyping is not a relationship. It is a computer game at most. Just consider, that if you typed what you've typed to whatzis and received exactly the same texts back, but from an automated site, there would be NO DIFFERENCE in your experience. In fact, the requests for money make yours LESS like a relationship and more like a Farmville account. You may have heard, those farmers, even the cash customers, never actually get any milk, meat, or vegetables out of their farms. Because they are not farms. They are games that call themselves farms. You are not in a relationship. Not half of one. Not a whisper. You are alone in your room, typing.

LOL



angelikaJ -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 6:01:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: incubusboy

I'm new in here, but not new to human relationships. And MOM47, typing and skyping is not a relationship. It is a computer game at most. Just consider, that if you typed what you've typed to whatzis and received exactly the same texts back, but from an automated site, there would be NO DIFFERENCE in your experience. In fact, the requests for money make yours LESS like a relationship and more like a Farmville account. You may have heard, those farmers, even the cash customers, never actually get any milk, meat, or vegetables out of their farms. Because they are not farms. They are games that call themselves farms. You are not in a relationship. Not half of one. Not a whisper. You are alone in your room, typing.



Great first post!

[sm=welcomewave.gif] to CM.



MindOverMatter47 -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 7:26:45 PM)

My grandmother was a switchboard operator and she talked to my grandfather -- never saw him, only talked -- for 6 months before they dated. They dated 3 times and married for their whole life. So how is falling in love on the phone in 1912 any different than falling in love over the phone today?




MindOverMatter47 -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 7:38:24 PM)

I was just trying to be helpful and warn others about this. But since everyone on here is so perfect, then I guess there is no need.

Yes, I have a sweet, warm, mother's heart -- it's very hard for me to think someone is in sincere need and not help. It's only when I started to suspect the need was not so much sincere as it was possibly calculated that I had to back up and rethink the "relationship."

I wasn't that invested emotionally. It was rather that I esteemed him as someone highly evolved and very knowledgeable. I've logged in about 3 hours a day every day for the past 1.75 months, so I would say that I am correct in my assessment of his intellect and esoteric knowledge. I find it most disheartening that someone I esteemed so much could be capable of less than ethical practices. Or at the very least he was just plain unwise about putting that kind of pressure on a newly forming relationship.

So thanks again for all the support and friendship.

Pride goes before a fall. Your haughtiness with me just means that you are next in line for a rude awakening.



Gauge -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 8:00:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MindOverMatter47

I was just trying to be helpful and warn others about this. But since everyone on here is so perfect, then I guess there is no need.

Yes, I have a sweet, warm, mother's heart -- it's very hard for me to think someone is in sincere need and not help. It's only when I started to suspect the need was not so much sincere as it was possibly calculated that I had to back up and rethink the "relationship."

I wasn't that invested emotionally. It was rather that I esteemed him as someone highly evolved and very knowledgeable. I've logged in about 3 hours a day every day for the past 1.75 months, so I would say that I am correct in my assessment of his intellect and esoteric knowledge. I find it most disheartening that someone I esteemed so much could be capable of less than ethical practices. Or at the very least he was just plain unwise about putting that kind of pressure on a newly forming relationship.

So thanks again for all the support and friendship.

Pride goes before a fall. Your haughtiness with me just means that you are next in line for a rude awakening.


Welcome to the Internet. Please keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times. These are shark infested waters.

There is no need to warn others. Sure some people fall for the Nigerian lady whose family died in a tragic paperclip factory accident. If she collects money, yeah well... tough lesson to learn, but those that don't learn will get burned time and again. You learned a lesson that a lot of people already knew. I certainly am not judging you because you thought you were being a caring a loving person, in fact I applaud your generous spirit. However, this is the Internet, and people that find people like you will always find a way to exploit that caring side and dupe you into draining your bank account. Does it suck? Sure it does.

Getting high handed with your attitude toward others that are saying that it was an obvious scam more than likely will not endear yourself to them if you even care about such things. Unfortunately on this site we see people coming here complaining and warning us about fakes nearly every day so it wears thin and some may be blunt, others may use a more gentle approach, but rest assured they will tell you what they are thinking.

Welcome to the forums... and remember, all sorts of people swim in these waters. Did I say people? I meant sharks.



OsideGirl -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 8:52:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MindOverMatter47
So how is falling in love on the phone in 1912 any different than falling in love over the phone today?




Well, it's different by about 100 years worth of technological advances.





MindOverMatter47 -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 8:57:39 PM)

Thanks.

And no I don't give a rat's ass about other people's opinions about me. This is definitely the last time I ever share anything on CM.



Gauge -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 9:07:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MindOverMatter47

Thanks.

And no I don't give a rat's ass about other people's opinions about me. This is definitely the last time I ever share anything on CM.


Glad we could be of service.[8|]



MistressDarkArt -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 9:21:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MindOverMatter47

My grandmother was a switchboard operator and she talked to my grandfather -- never saw him, only talked -- for 6 months before they dated. They dated 3 times and married for their whole life. So how is falling in love on the phone in 1912 any different than falling in love over the phone today?




Let me share a personal story. A million years ago before digital pictures were so easy to snap and send, I had an online introduction to someone who had great phone repoire with me. I loved the sound of his voice; vibrant and youngish. I would giggle like a school girl on the phone with him. I couldn't wait to meet him, but when I actually did I knew instantly I would never kiss that man if he was the last one on earth. Absolutely zero chemistry in person; I was actually repulsed looking at him. Despite his claiming we were close in age and he had an active athletic lifestyle, he looked like 10 miles of rutted dirt road. He couldn't keep up during the brief walk we took so there was no way in hell he'd be able to make it through a contra dance after I'd made it clear that participating in that activity was paramount.

Skyping, phone, all other online blahdy blah is just that...not a partnership. If you can't sit across the table with someone and touch their hand, it means nothing until you can, do, and pass that electric spark.

You got taken by a user. Sorry about your bad luck. Better luck in the future.

To address the OP: abuse was as prevalent in the beginning of time as it is now. We just hear about it more with so many ways to communicate. It's a dark force of human nature I am not proud of, and it makes me sad to think about its insidiousness.




SeekingTrinity -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 9:47:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MindOverMatter47

Thanks.

And no I don't give a rat's ass about other people's opinions about me. This is definitely the last time I ever share anything on CM.


M'kay, happy flouncing...

Don't let the door hit the ass of the rat you can't be bothered to give on your way out the door [8|]

Just curious as to why you are so angry. None of us sent your money to some dude in Arizona. People just said there is a big ass warning right here on CM about sending money to people. None of us sent him your money...you did despite the warnings not to. How is that the fault of anyone you turned your rage on?



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 9:54:41 PM)

FR

I suppose another, more positive way of looking at it, is that you made an expensive gamble on a relationship that you hoped would work out. You bet $550 on him being genuine and sadly lost. Perhaps in the long run it will be a lesson worth learning.



stef -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/6/2013 11:14:08 PM)

All in all, $550 is cheap tuition for a semester in the University of Common Sense. Hopefully this will be a lesson that only has to be learned once.



petitespot -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/7/2013 4:13:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MindOverMatter47

This rhetorical question was raised to AngelikaJ in response to her assessment about the non-validity of long distance/virtual relationships.

A virtual relationship in 1912 is the same as one today. If you can't see that point, then you spend too much time with the 420.


Don't listen to all of the bad people here. They are mean!
I'm very sweet and think you are awesome.
Send me some money.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/7/2013 4:33:50 AM)

There are some very accomplished scammers out there. Some of them are males pretending to be dominant. You got caught by one. The advice to take a look as to how you became a victim is spot on. It takes two to tango, even if it is for only 2 months.

You're 54 and still single. It's time to take along hard look at yourself. I'm not saying this out of haughtiness or pride, but out of experience.

Here's a hint: Be very careful of how you come across in your pictures.








OsideGirl -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/7/2013 9:30:22 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity
Just curious as to why you are so angry. None of us sent your money to some dude in Arizona. People just said there is a big ass warning right here on CM about sending money to people. None of us sent him your money...you did despite the warnings not to. How is that the fault of anyone you turned your rage on?


She wanted us all to blame him for scamming and give her a bunch of fluffy hugs, instead of pointing out that it was actually her fault, not his.



Killerangel -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/7/2013 11:13:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmine777

I have been out of the lifestyle for awhile. And I am wondering if we have progressed as a culture.

I can remember when outright abuse was fairly common. But back then there was no such thing as a safeword. I even had a friend who ran a slave rehabilitation home. He'd take in broken girls and help them get back to being functional.

Have we as a culture progressed to where this is not as much of an issue as it used to be? I know that you can still have a bad experience, especially if your not smart enough to play safe. But is abuse as common as it was?



No safewords....? Really? And abuse was common? I'm having a hard time thinking as to why anyone would continue to promote the kinky lifestyle or choose to engage in it if it was such a terrible thing. Why wouldn't people just walk away from it if it was this seedy, awful, excuse to enable abusers to find victims? I just don't see people blindly following along with that concept and choosing to incorporate it into their lives.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: Abuse in the lifestyle (8/7/2013 12:16:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Here's a hint: Be very careful of how you come across in your pictures.



To MOM47: QFT. The clarion cry I got from your pictures is that all you think you offer is your boobs. I see the potential for lots of problems with the kind of person you'll attract that way.



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