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Confused - 6/29/2006 5:45:59 AM

soldierfunuk

Posts: 56
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline

Hello,

I am quite new here and am seeking a bit of advice on a situation that has just arisen. I am a sub male, I always have been and always will be......... or so I thought.

I have recently met a female sub online and there is no doubt we have hit it off. We have so much in common, chatted on the phone and never fail to make each other laugh. I still feel very submissive to all women but in her case I want to look after her and feel a great need to hold, protect and nurture her to the point of watching out for her in chatrooms etc. I am now offically confused. I don't think I could see myself being Dom with her. Why do I get the feelings i describe above then. I think it is something to do with her personality and the way she is.

I don't feel this way about anyone else and would'nt dream of putting myself in charge, so I don't think I am changing my submissiveness for switching. Is it that I have just met a friend that I really care for or am I changing and will wake up one morning growling, being grumpy and all Domly.

I might add that there is no true love or sex involved here, we are just friends and both have real life partners.

Thank you and I look forward to somebody stating the blindingly obvious to me.

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RE: Confused - 6/29/2006 7:14:55 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Perhaps it's not so much that you're a Dom, but that you have some archetypes at work that bring out the protector. If you're really a soldier, think about why and that might help explain it. These archetypes could come into play with the protector/defender feelings:
Advocate
Avenger
Hero
Knight
Liberator
Rescuer
Warrior
You can find explanations at http://myss.com/ThreeArchs.asp. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the same feelings didn't manifest themselves when you really connect with a Dominant. Wouldn’t you want to protect her, etc.?

Of course, you could be both a Dom and a sub. I see orientation as something on a sliding scale...at one end is total Dom and the other is total sub. I know few who are actually the extremes. Don't worry about it and be yourself.

VERY nice ink, BTW.

Master Fire

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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to soldierfunuk)

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RE: Confused - 6/30/2006 7:33:28 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

It doesn't seem that strange to me. Protecting is still a service. Traditionally (and I think most people are wired this way) men are protectors, women are nuturers and each is generally better able to perform that function. With dominant women perhaps they came across as fully able to take care of themselves, so this instinct didn't come up. In this case this woman may appear someone fragile or vulnerable, so your instinct to protect is arroused. You can still do that from a perspective of serving.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

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Post #: 3