how do you move on after losing you Master?

how do you move on after losing you Master? (Full Version)

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DakotaPup -> how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 4:01:07 PM)
How do you move on after being with a Master... He doesn't even tell you he was leaving... he just ignores you and you find out he is with some one else... and that other slave messages and tells you that she is now with him and you just need to leave... how do you cope with all this...???

OsideGirl -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 4:06:06 PM)
Assuming this is real life: Realize that he is an asshole, pick yourself up, take care of you and take time to heal.

deliriuminabox -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 4:06:57 PM)
Cut all contact. Do not reach out to him. Do not let him contact you. That's the first step. Because at this point, maintaining any sort of tether to him is just going to hurt you more. Of course this also means you've suddenly got a lot more time on your hands than you did before. What do you do with it? There are the usual suggestions: take up a new hobby, catch up with old friends, make some new ones etc etc. In my case I threw myself into my job and started playing online games. I also started walking 5 miles every morning. It clears my head and I'm seeing lots of improvement to my health as well. Find what works for you! Its ok to be sad and its ok to cry but don't let yourself wallow in it. That just ends up causing you more pain and it won't bring him back nor will it open the door for you to meet someone new.

lizi -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 4:07:52 PM)
Well, you go and try to forget about him. It sucks, I'm sorry. You wouldn't want him back after all that, so try as hard as you can to move on. I find that throwing myself into being busy, exercising, and talking to close friends helps me at times like that - the usual things people do to get over a breakup.

DakotaPup -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 4:19:08 PM)
I am trying to do everything that everyone has suggested... but it is hard.. but I know I will bounce back... but does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...??

Musicmystery -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 4:26:05 PM)
No one ever. You're the first in the entire human race. A pioneer. Of course they do. Go buy a pint of ice cream, a box of pastries, and call every one of your friends.

angelikaJ -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 4:37:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DakotaPup I am trying to do everything that everyone has suggested... but it is hard.. but I know I will bounce back... but does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...?? Your "master" went behind your back and found someone else. The person in this equation who was not "good enough for some one" is him. He behaved in a cowardly despicable manner and you deserve much better. The entire text of the book is here: http://www.buildfreedom.com/content/books/survive/ It may be useful.

BamaD -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 4:58:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DakotaPup I am trying to do everything that everyone has suggested... but it is hard.. but I know I will bounce back... but does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...?? I get the feeling that he is a domineering coward, not a real master but a bully without the strength for a LTR. Find someone worthy to be your master.

lizi -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 4:59:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DakotaPup I am trying to do everything that everyone has suggested... but it is hard.. but I know I will bounce back... but does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...?? Seriously, you don't feel good enough after some guy acts like a total douchebag? Be glad the fuckweasel is gone. How much more time and energy would you have wanted to waste on him? It's better being alone than with someone that low.

BamaD -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 5:43:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DakotaPup How do you move on after being with a Master... He doesn't even tell you he was leaving... he just ignores you and you find out he is with some one else... and that other slave messages and tells you that she is now with him and you just need to leave... how do you cope with all this...??? Two words trade up

DarkSteven -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 5:54:40 PM)
The little weenie didn't even tell you, and had his new girl break the news to you? He didn't deserve the title of Master. It's an insult to genuine Masters for you to call him that. I grant you permission to refer to him by his first name. He's in your past. quote: ORIGINAL: DakotaPup does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...?? You're not good enough for HIM? Get real. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you.

JeffBC -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 5:55:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DakotaPup How do you move on after being with a Master... He doesn't even tell you he was leaving... he just ignores you and you find out he is with some one else... and that other slave messages and tells you that she is now with him and you just need to leave... how do you cope with all this...??? The answer to all such situations is "You do a wholesale order of Ben & Jerry's then between you and the ice cream you wait out the pain." I am kind of curious though, is this online or offline? If it's online then the good news is that online relationships start faster and end faster and the pain goes away faster. They still hurt a whole whack though.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 6:31:12 PM)
quote: He doesn't even tell you he was leaving... he just ignores you and you find out he is with some one else This suggests to me that this was a cyber, not real life, relationship. If that's correct, then you learn your lesson that cyber-relationships are make believe nonsense, join your local, real-time BDSM community and meet people face to face. If that's not correct, then you move on the same way you moved on from any other intimate relationship that suddenly ends.

JeffBC -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 6:44:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle cyber-relationships are make believe nonsense I will never understand how obviously smart people can say such a thing. So then.... the woman that I've known for years and years first online then telephone but never face to face... that was nothing? Because damn I should probably call her and tell her to stop worrying about me then because it's all "make believe nonsense". If two people relate then it is a relationship. That seems pretty basic to me. The medium of exchange offers various pros and cons as well as changing an interesting array of features. But it is still a relationship. That ought to be axiomatic.

kalikshama -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 7:03:30 PM)
Sure it's a relationship, but as people often comport themselves very differently online than IRL, it is often not a relationship grounded in reality. YMMV.

kalikshama -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 7:05:06 PM)
quote: but does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...?? No, but when I saw a pattern of making bad choices I addressed this in therapy and am now with the man of my dreams.

JeffBC -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 8:38:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama Sure it's a relationship, but as people often comport themselves very differently online than IRL, it is often not a relationship grounded in reality. YMMV. nods The fact that many people choose to use the medium in a fantasy way doesn't mean that it's not usable for actual, genuine, human to human communication on a real and pragmatic level. From my standpoint Skype, telephones, SecondLife, email, and snail mail are all just mediums of communication -- just as face to face speech is. They can all be used with integrity... or not. I often get the feeling people think the only form of online relationship is some breathless gorean kajira in a chatroom proclaiming the fire in her slave belly to all and sundried masters. Sometimes when Carol or I used to travel we would meet in secondlife and yes, virtually snuggle in my virtual hammock and watch the virtual moon as we talked about the very real day's events. It was emotionally comforting. Sometimes we would leave our avatars sleeping together in the hammock as we slept in real life then we could "wake up together". I have to admit that one even baffled me a bit but we both agreed it was true.

KnightofMists -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 9:53:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle cyber-relationships are make believe nonsense I will never understand how obviously smart people can say such a thing. So then.... the woman that I've known for years and years first online then telephone but never face to face... that was nothing? Because damn I should probably call her and tell her to stop worrying about me then because it's all "make believe nonsense". If two people relate then it is a relationship. That seems pretty basic to me. The medium of exchange offers various pros and cons as well as changing an interesting array of features. But it is still a relationship. That ought to be axiomatic. Ditto

BamaD -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/8/2013 10:39:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven The little weenie didn't even tell you, and had his new girl break the news to you? He didn't deserve the title of Master. It's an insult to genuine Masters for you to call him that. I grant you permission to refer to him by his first name. He's in your past. quote: ORIGINAL: DakotaPup does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...?? You're not good enough for HIM? Get real. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you. I would grant her permission to call him the SOB

DakotaPup -> RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? (8/9/2013 12:55:59 AM)
I would like to thank all for their responses.... And right now I still feel like crap...

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