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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 2:54:12 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC


I often get the feeling people think the only form of online relationship is some breathless gorean kajira in a chatroom proclaiming the fire in her slave belly to all and sundried masters.



Am I the only one to have read this as "...all sun-dried masters"?

I may need more coffee.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 5:10:03 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		Not a very good person, so he actually did you favor.

I will make a suggestion. Fill your soul, with what will not abandon you, and that's your own personal joy. I love this book, God calling by AJ Russell. I read it for two years. Its basically an inspirational book filled with promise, joy, hope, love. Short and to the point and uplifting. Do this if you have any kind of believe and your power will be increased, and you will soon wonder what you saw in a man like that. It worked wonders for me.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 7:11:53 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DakotaPup

I would like to thank all for their responses.... And right now I still feel like crap...

Obviously. And you will for quite some time.


(in reply to DakotaPup)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 11:39:02 AM   
alovelylady4U


Posts: 67
Joined: 1/15/2005
From: leeli
Status: offline 		So many have given you some wonderful advice. So many of U/us have been through this very same situation.

From my personal experience, i found a wonderful old song that became my inner strength at times. (Gloria Gaynor- I will survive.) i am sure friends wondered what on earth- yet filling my ears with positive lyrics and thoughts, while crushing down the horrid silence that allowed self doubts (like i was not good enough) to attack me at my weakest moment?

As suggested- i began working on myself. i joined a gym and had a personal trainer (personal trainers appear to have a sadistic side to them.... or was that just mine?) Every chance i had= i hit the gym. i had a pre recorded CD and ....

As S/someone mentioned, a good supply of ice cream. One day my trainer looked down at me(he had his foot on my stomach-the sadistic side? for a back strengthening exercise) and mentioned if i do not get over it- he would have to start taking me to a truck scale to weigh me. "you will get over one day- why not today?"

i began to fill the need to "serve and care for" by donating time and or items. To the VA hospital went magazines, nursing homes- romance novels. i became more involved in the vanilla world around me, i made all kinds of great new friends with so many interests.... gardening, farmsteads, and so on

my song, my friends, my new life.

Another song i adopted at a later time was The Rose by Bette Midler. "iit's the heart afraid of waking that never takes the chance- it's the dream afraid of waking that never learns to dance.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 11:50:30 AM   
alovelylady4U


Posts: 67
Joined: 1/15/2005
From: leeli
Status: offline 		Sorry i had to dodge out so quickly, my housemates just returned. Pardon the typos, but shoot- they happen too. gtg best wishes to you -

(in reply to alovelylady4U)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 12:09:52 PM   
deliriuminabox


Posts: 135
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC


I often get the feeling people think the only form of online relationship is some breathless gorean kajira in a chatroom proclaiming the fire in her slave belly to all and sundried masters.



Am I the only one to have read this as "...all sun-dried masters"?

I may need more coffee.


Now that you've pointed that out, I can't read it any other way. XD

Considering my introduction to BDSM was in an online chatroom where there were several such breathless girls proclaiming the fire in their slave bellies, I honestly believed that there was something lacking within me that I only felt submissive towards particular men and women and not everyone with an uppercase name. I thought that for years.

Since then, I've learned that the emotions you experience online can be just as intense, if not more so than in a RL relationship. Sometimes the emotional intensity is increased because you don't have to see or deal with much of the other person's faults and flaws. You can put them on a pedestal and literally worship to your heart's content ...... Until the day they're gone. And then you've just got this big gaping hole where their precense used to be.

The good news is, it is easier to move on from an online based relationship because your real life isn't all entangled with theirs. Once they're gone, its relatively easy to make them stay gone. You just have to be willing to use block features and in extreme cases, change your contact info so they can't find you.


< Message edited by deliriuminabox -- 8/9/2013 12:26:22 PM >

_____________________________

“Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes.” ~Tori Amos

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 12:30:56 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC


I often get the feeling people think the only form of online relationship is some breathless gorean kajira in a chatroom proclaiming the fire in her slave belly to all and sundried masters.



Am I the only one to have read this as "...all sun-dried masters"?

I may need more coffee.


I saw it that way too....and I was just starting my coffee...


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 1:32:42 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Am I the only one to have read this as "...all sun-dried masters"?


Down here in the desert southwest, that's a redundancy when speaking of any master over the age of 50.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 1:53:56 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
quote:

Am I the only one to have read this as "...all sun-dried masters"?

Down here in the desert southwest, that's a redundancy when speaking of any master over the age of 50.

This whole tangent is making me want to go make some home made salad dressing.

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 8/9/2013 1:54:40 PM >

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 2:55:19 PM   
DakotaPup


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/11/2012
Status: offline 		I am
Glad for the advice... Now his new ugly babygirl is what she calls herself tells me I was never his that he did not want me... I am fine with that... You can have him... But while your not with him he is cheating on you... This I know because he calls me and tells I made a mistake... Sorry I can't help you I have moved on... I am better off alone so I can be with friends and go hang out... I don't need to check in with you and get 20 question quiz given to me...

_____________________________

DakotaPup

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 3:11:01 PM   
deliriuminabox


Posts: 135
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline 		Lady. Cut contact. Neither one of them have any reason or need to be talking to you, cluttering up your heart or mind. Block them. Change your info. Do whatever you need to do to cut them off. They're two sides of the same coin, playing with your head because they can.

_____________________________

“Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes.” ~Tori Amos

(in reply to DakotaPup)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 3:27:54 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		1-When I lose something, I look in the lost and found.
2-Jeff-My broad definition of a relationship is two people that interact on a regular basis. Doesn't need to have an emotional center either, hell,I don't even hafta like em-for instance, I have relationships with lots of folks at work,vendors, co-workers.So yeah, your definition fits well within mine.

Now is that a bound relationship that will give me satisfaction?
Fuck no.
Do I really understand folks who do get anything much out of these?
also no.
Can I deny the validity of the interactions for some of the participants?
A final fuck no.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to deliriuminabox)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 3:39:27 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DakotaPup

I am
Glad for the advice... Now his new ugly babygirl is what she calls herself tells me I was never his that he did not want me... I am fine with that... You can have him... But while your not with him he is cheating on you... This I know because he calls me and tells I made a mistake... Sorry I can't help you I have moved on... I am better off alone so I can be with friends and go hang out... I don't need to check in with you and get 20 question quiz given to me...


You're fanning the flames of the drama that's making you more unhappy.

STEP AWAY from it, end the contact with him and her and start rebuilding a life that will make you happier. The longer you wallow in it with them in the picture, the longer you are permitting them to make you even more unhappy. Only you have the ability to stop that part.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to DakotaPup)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 3:45:42 PM   
DakotaPup


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/11/2012
Status: offline 		I am moving on...I don't answer my phone he calls me... He then texts me I don't answer them
I just delete them... As for her hell she is afraid of his cock ... She sent me a message ... How did you take it... I am scared of it I only been with 4-6 inch guys... I laughed reading it and just shut my phone off... Enjoying the life with my Xbox killing zombies....

_____________________________

DakotaPup

(in reply to DomMeinCT)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 5:18:17 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Other folks have answered the 'how to get over it' part. From your posts, I'm hesitant to say that you are over it, but that's a different subject. I'm going to try to help you with this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DakotaPup
I am
Glad for the advice... Now his new ugly babygirl is what she calls herself tells me I was never his that he did not want me... I am fine with that... You can have him... But while your not with him he is cheating on you... This I know because he calls me and tells I made a mistake... Sorry I can't help you I have moved on... I am better off alone so I can be with friends and go hang out... I don't need to check in with you and get 20 question quiz given to me...

At the end of a whatever (because I don't have the time to get into the online vrs offline debate) most folks, whether they were the leaver or the one who has been left, don't feel the need to go through the hassle of severing communication. That is, up until one of the parties (or more, since we're also talking about the new girlfriend) decides to make an ass out of themselves by sending unwanted texts and phone calls. If it's getting to the point where the other people/persons are just harassing you, block their contact info being used to connect with you through your cell phone. Depending on which carrier you have, you should be able to find the information on how to do this on their webpage.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DakotaPup)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 5:20:06 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DakotaPup

I am moving on...I don't answer my phone he calls me... He then texts me I don't answer them
I just delete them... As for her hell she is afraid of his cock ... She sent me a message ... How did you take it... I am scared of it I only been with 4-6 inch guys... I laughed reading it and just shut my phone off... Enjoying the life with my Xbox killing zombies....


Well, she's as much of a moron as he is. Good to see that you're cutting two idiots out of your life.

Edited to add: Do what LadyPact suggested and you won't even have to know what idiotic things that they come up with which is a great idea.

< Message edited by lizi -- 8/9/2013 5:23:18 PM >

(in reply to DakotaPup)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 7:21:57 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: deliriuminabox

Lady. Cut contact.


^^^This. Allowing any further contact with them will just rip the scab off all over again, and you will never heal.

Eff 'em and the horse they rode in on.


< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 8/9/2013 7:29:11 PM >

(in reply to deliriuminabox)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/10/2013 4:22:06 PM   
DakotaPup


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/11/2012
Status: offline 		oh i have... and now its funny... he claims to be a female now messaging under the same name.. has even went as far to send me girls pics from the interent... seriously think i am going to fall for that chit.. never in hell....

i am loving being singlr.... get to go to the next meet n greet our local community is having and see what appeals to this girl..

_____________________________

DakotaPup

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/10/2013 7:57:43 PM   
deliriuminabox


Posts: 135
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline 		If he's still contacting you .... You haven't cut contact.

Anyway. Enjoy the meet and greet!

_____________________________

“Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes.” ~Tori Amos

(in reply to DakotaPup)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/10/2013 10:08:28 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		Going to a meet and greet is a great idea.

My last master and I had a live in TPR relationship. I wanted to leave because of the way things were going, but could not bring myself to, because he was my Master. When he released me it was still intensely painful. I had nowhere to go, I had to move into my sister's basement. We had lost a pregnancy in our relationship, and after that the relationship did not even survive until the due date. I still called him for a while, he was nice enough to talk to me like a friend, I though I was making it easier on myself. On what should have been the due date of our child, I didn't call him. and he didn't call me. It was a very painful day for me, but obviously he didn't need to reach out to me as I had been needing to with him. I never called him again. In reality, no contact is better. And as to her, what she needs to know, but clearly doesn't, is if you date someone who is cheating on someone else, and they leave the other person for you, what you have is a relationship with a cheater.

I had some stuff in his storage unit. A year later he wrote me to tell me he was moving, we wrote back and forth a few times to arrange my coming down to get my stuff. I took my best friend, who is male, rented a truck, stayed in a hotel, enjoyed a town I hadn't been back to in a year, took my friend to eat at my favorite restaurant in that town. I saw my exmaster only at the storage facilty so he could unlock it and help me get y stuff into the truck. I don't know where he moved and haven't heard from him in four years. I do know it's 4 years, because I have a beautiful nephew born right after we split up, 2 months before the baby was due. My nephews are the awesomist ever, btw.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to deliriuminabox)
Profile   Post #: 40
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