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Seeking advice/resources - 8/12/2013 4:42:39 PM

tdavis1210

Posts: 16
Joined: 8/11/2013
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I'm fairly new to bdsm, and I was just wondering if anyone had any advice/resources to share? My wife is fairly experienced as a switch and has been a patient wealth of information, and I recently read 'The Ultimate guide to Kink' which was a very informative and eye opening read. I was just curious if there were any books or websites y'all would recommend? If there was anything you wish you had known from day one, what would it be?

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RE: Seeking advice/resources - 8/12/2013 4:51:52 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Read a lot here, talk to her about the stuff that grabs your attention.
Join fetlife and read a lot there.

Books, well stick to nonfiction. Go to amazon, type in Erotic Bondage or Screw the Roses and you'll get that whole line of "other books bought by people who bought this one.

Are you trying to understand what her needs are? Do you share any of them?

As far as what you most need to know? Yourself. What do you want? What calls to you, what doesn't.

Beyond that, tell her not to criticize constantly because it's going to take you six months to a year to catch up. Start slow, laugh a lot, don't take it so seriously. Practice topping skills on yourself, bondage on chairs, s & m on pillows until you're sure you won't do any harm.

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RE: Seeking advice/resources - 8/12/2013 4:59:07 PM

LadyPact

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The book list, courtesy of Resident Sadist. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

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RE: Seeking advice/resources - 8/12/2013 5:42:48 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tdavis1210
I'm fairly new to bdsm, and I was just wondering if anyone had any advice/resources to share? My wife is fairly experienced as a switch and has been a patient wealth of information, and I recently read 'The Ultimate guide to Kink' which was a very informative and eye opening read. I was just curious if there were any books or websites y'all would recommend? If there was anything you wish you had known from day one, what would it be?

Honestly, THIS website has been a wealth of information from me. I was new also recently enough to remember it. But on these discussion boards you'll find a fair number of couples who are "making it work" in a wide variety of flavors. If you can formulate a question more or less clearly (which I know isn't always that easy when you're so new you don't even know the right questions) then it's likely true someone here has experience and can help.

Good luck to you and your wife.

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RE: Seeking advice/resources - 8/12/2013 6:10:24 PM

tdavis1210

Posts: 16
Joined: 8/11/2013
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@DesFIP, Thank you so much, I think I'm still trying to figure out what her needs are and how we fit together as far as bdsm goes. At the same time, I'm still figuring out exactly what I want for myself from it. I've already figured out some of the things I don't want, so I suppose that's part of the way there. Thankfully she isn't critical and has been very patient with me. Just trying to take it one day at a time, although it can be hard to stay patient sometimes. Thank you for giving me food for thought.

@LadyPact Thank you for pointing me to the reading list, I have it bookmarked, and will err... NOT be going to see if any of those books are on the pirate bay ~pokerface~

Once again, thanks to you both for the information and response

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RE: Seeking advice/resources - 8/12/2013 6:24:07 PM

tdavis1210

Posts: 16
Joined: 8/11/2013
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Thank you too, I'm already starting to see that this site is a great resource. I think it will be helpful in figuring out what works in our situation.

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