ShadeDiva
Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sub4hire
We conduct ourselves in the same way in chat rooms. I don't frequent them. I think I did the collar me one twice. Idiots and more idiots. It just isn't worth the frustration if you ask me. Why should I waste my time on people not willing to learn or listen? Close minded people.
Well they aren;t all like that, for one thing. And I'd iggy anyone before they got to the point to affect me enough to annoy or bother me. lol.
quote:
ORIGINAL: sub4hire
I would'nt go into the whole scenerio you did.
Nor would I now. That was a long time ago, some 6-7 years ago, lol, and I was brand new to the main online world. I've done a TON of growing over the course of those years, *chortle*
quote:
ORIGINAL: sub4hire
I would be banned.
I was. *chuckle*
quote:
ORIGINAL: sub4hire
To me people who ban are not Dominants in the first place.
Then you would not consider me dominant *smile*. I've banned folks and I'll do it again, if they are being malicious and negative and only trying to cause trouble, I have *no* issue banning them from my presence, in one form or another. In fact I guess I believe the exact opposite as you do - I feel a dominant should have enough self control to choose what they allow into their world, or what energy they surrounds them. Actually I really believe that is true of any mature adult.
quote:
ORIGINAL: sub4hire
How are my questions making them so uncomfortable? Are they not willing to listen or teach people?
Well being dominant doesn't make someone *perfect* by default, *grin*. There are indeed close minded dominants, and even submissives out there - it doesn't change their power identification, or what power dynamic they prefer to be in. Nor does it automatically nominate them to be a "teacher" to every single person that comes into their vision and demands it. It is their choice to teach or not, and their right to make that choice. Just as it is their right and choice to conform to what I find are ridiculous rules. hehe
quote:
ORIGINAL: sub4hire
If not, then they are not Dominant.
Guess it's obvious I'd disagree with that concept by the above reply. For me it simply means I don't agree with them and find their all important rule to be superfluous and downright silly - i.e. that I am not compatible with their mind set.
quote:
ORIGINAL: sub4hire
If they cannot control their anger, how are they ever going to control it in real life? If they are so weak they have to block me. Well that is showing they don't have the courage to Dominate someone like me anyway. They never could.
I see that same comment made all the time by the type of folks that walk into chat rooms *just* to cause strife and drama and be malicious. Blocking or ignoring someone doesn't automatically equate anger or loss of control over one's emotions, you know.
Personally I deem it as culling my chat experience so that ALL negative inflow is cut off and allowing only the positive things to surround me. If someone is being negative and rude, ~zap! they are gone from my view. <shrug> No anger or emotion in it really - it is done quickly and without a pause. As far as I am concerned, I am not online to fight battles really, but to have a pleasant experience - and if that means blocking people *trying* actively to be a nuisiance, so be it. Folks like that are only seeking attention, ANY kind of attention, and I refuse to feed those beasties. Starve the beasties and they go looking somewhere else for someone else to feed them.
I think those that HAVE to respond to insults, jibs, and taunts are the ones that lost control. They are being manipulated by someone that is coming into that space to say inflammatory things, JUST to spark someone off and feed them which attention, all they are looking for is a reaction - ANY reaction. The first thing they say once someone says they've iggied them is that they are a coward, for only cowards have to iggy them, a *real* dominant wouldn't iggy them, on no, a *real* dominant woudl fight with them, yeah! And I guess I simply disagree. I am not threatened by someone being insulting, after all it's just online, lol, but why have negative crap in my view at all, when I have the ability to control my environment as I wish and create the kind of space I'd prefer to be in by gagging the rude beasties?
Seems to me if I have a way to control what I surround myself with and I don't take that path, but instead let someone goad me into reacting, and helping them create the icky atmosphere they are trying for, and then adding myself into the very problem by engaging with such beasties - well who is dominating who there? I certainly don't see those that choose to sling insults back as being in control, lol. Not at all.
I guess I just view deciding they have no real vested interest in engaging their energy, effort and time in a pointless battle, and choosing a peaceful serene route as being a strength, a clam, quiet strength, and not as a weakness.
And I don't see why them wishing to block someone even would imply they would be or ever were at any point even remotely insterested in controlling or dominating the person they are blocking. Seems to me they are being pretty clear they are sending the message they simply aren't interested at that point - so I am unclear why the thought of them being unable to dominate you or ever being capable even enters the picture there. They are pretty much in essence saying they don't find you compatible, and since they'd need to be interested in dominating someone in order for them to have a shot at doing so since it is a two way street - your view of them not having the courage or ability to dominate you seems well, kinda moot. They've already kinda drawn that line in the sand by blocking you before you were able to deem them to be too cowardly/weak to be worth your submission in that sense, didn't they? Or am I missing something there?
quote:
ORIGINAL: sub4hire
The fact is I respect several people here on the message boards already. Do they know it yet? Probably not, some do. We have'nt even met in person. Would they get my respect, yes they would.
That's cool. Some awfully nice folks here it seems like, I'd have to agree.
quote:
ORIGINAL: sub4hire
The bottom line here is this is a topic that will be debated long after we are dead and gone. Thus is life.
Eh not really a debate to me, lol. If one can't tell when someone is doing it in real life or not, then it seems pretty ridiculous to me and merely an online convention that holds no real value to me. When I find myself in a space that prefers that - I willingly make myself scarce as it simply isn't a compatible space for me to be in. It's their right to have a space they do things a certain way in, and if I don't like it, well I don't have to choose to enter it once I know that's the accepted way things are done in that space. That's just basic courtesy to me - I don't need to impose my views on them, I can find a space where folks of like minds gather, and just focus on that instead.
There's more than enough room for everyone and all their various POVs, and variety is a GOOD thing. hehe
~ShadeDiva
_____________________________
~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld
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~ but it was what i was taught~
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