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What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 3:45:23 PM

Fawne

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Simply:
How do you or how does one best express what they may have to offer? Without coming across as "it's all about me"?

Sincere input appreciated.
Fawne

< Message edited by Fawne -- 6/29/2006 3:56:32 PM >

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 3:50:20 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Spend time together. Opportunities will present themselves- seize them.

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 3:52:39 PM

slavejali

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I think it's in your intention.

If people misread your intention and think your coming across as "its all about me" do you really want to be involved with someone so unperceptive? Someone you have to explain yourself to?

So I guess, get your intention together and just do it.

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 3:59:43 PM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne

Simply:
How do you or how does one best express what they have may to offer..?

Without coming across as "it's all about me"?

Sincere input appreciated.
Fawne

Sounds like a simple question...but it isn't. Let's say a submissive puts in their profile that they enjoy anal sex and oral sex and being spanked and being tied up and etc., it seems like that would please any dominant. But it is never that simple (damnit!!!) When you begin to talk to this submissive, you find out that they only like anal "at that time of the month", the oral sex they enjoy is only the kind where they feel "forced" to do you this way, that they want only to be spanked over the knee in Daddy-daughter style, and that they mean Shibari bondage only when it comes to being tied up.

In this case above, it was alllllllll about the submissive. I could have just as easily pointed out a dominant profile that would fall far short of what it says once you begin to talk about them.

The best way you can express to others what you can do for them is by first showing an interest in what it is that they would want someone to do for them. Once you know this, ask yourself: Could I do that? Would I want to do that? Does this person by himself...set aside from these things...interest me? If the answer to these three is yes, then you have a starting point.

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 4:01:00 PM

Fawne

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YES! TY. I was going to add quality time together will allow for this to naturally fall in place.

CreativeDominant :
"The best way you can express to others what you can do for them is by first showing an interest in what it is that they would want someone to do for them. Once you know this, ask yourself: Could I do that? Would I want to do that? Does this person by himself...set aside from these things...interest me? If the answer to these three is yes, then you have a starting point."

Yes.
Thank you to everyone, all responses valued.

< Message edited by Fawne -- 6/29/2006 4:13:40 PM >

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 4:16:53 PM

Caretakr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne

YES! TY. I was going to add quality time together will allow for this to naturally fall in place.

CreativeDominant :
"The best way you can express to others what you can do for them is by first showing an interest in what it is that they would want someone to do for them. Once you know this, ask yourself: Could I do that? Would I want to do that? Does this person by himself...set aside from these things...interest me? If the answer to these three is yes, then you have a starting point."

Yes.
Thank you to everyone, all responses valued.

You do a little story about a person (real, or imagined) that you really enjoy.

< Message edited by Caretakr -- 6/29/2006 4:18:02 PM >

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 4:20:20 PM

slavejali

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Personally I think a dominant should be demanding from the beginning, very straight about their wants, not playing "go gentle and pander to sensibilities" It would let me know whether I fit with them, point blank.

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 4:24:32 PM

Caretakr

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That's how I do it,but Fawne wanted some alternatives.

Rather then "My way, or the highway"

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 4:33:30 PM

Fawne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

You do a little story about a person (real, or imagnined) that you really enjoy.

That's a good idea! I would have once thought that was being presumptous, but without ego (in a good way) and in being confident, comfortable brave enough to drop any mask. Humble to wear ones heart (so to speak) - on ones sleeve.

yeah..it is kinda the point...... letting someone in.

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 4:34:27 PM

LadyMorgynn

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It's amazing how a sincere show of interest, whether you are dominant or submissive, tells a lot about you. It also can be an indicator to the other person about whether you are a real person to the one you are communicating with; a lack of interest in the other party can indicate an "it's all about me" mindset. As can a *failure* to show interest; if someone has an amazing lack of curiosity about you, you can start feeling like you're kind of a partner du jour, valued for what you can do for them, and that they don't see this as a 2-way street.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

That's how I do it,but Fawne wanted some alternatives.

Rather then "My way, or the highway"

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 4:35:03 PM

Caretakr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

You do a little story about a person (real, or imagnined) that you really enjoy.

That's a good idea! I would have once thought that was being presumptous, but without ego (in a good way) and in being confident, comfortable brave enough to drop any mask. Humble to wear ones heart (so to speak) - on ones sleeve.

yeah..it is kinda the point...... letting someone in.

Yes,rather then presenting a list-one puts forward an Icon.
And then you see who will identify with it,

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 4:38:12 PM

LadyMorgynn

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Just my *personal* take on this (not wanting to burst anyone's bubble)... I HATE when they send me stories! It makes me feel like this is all just a fantasy to them, and they are sending me their fantasies so that I can either 1) be a vessel for them to talk over the fantasy with (never mind my own), and/or 2) feed them their fantasies in real life. or 3) that they weren't really interested in me at all but just wanking off at actually sending/telling their fantasy to someone.

Of course, I've gotten rather cynical here on Collarme, from deluges of emails from wankers & wannabes. I don't mean to rain on anybody's parade!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

You do a little story about a person (real, or imagnined) that you really enjoy.

That's a good idea! I would have once thought that was being presumptous, but without ego (in a good way) and in being confident, comfortable brave enough to drop any mask. Humble to wear ones heart (so to speak) - on ones sleeve.

yeah..it is kinda the point...... letting someone in.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 4:44:47 PM

Fawne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr
Yes,rather then presenting a list-one puts forward an Icon.
And then you see who will identify with it,

Trusting instinct. Trust.

< Message edited by Fawne -- 6/29/2006 4:57:21 PM >

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RE: What can me do for you? - 6/29/2006 4:48:16 PM

juliaoceania

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I found that when I was looking for someone I stated what I was looking for first. I had some definite ideas of what it was I was looking for. If the person got through that "laundry list" of what I was looking for they then got the list of what it was I had to offer them. It looked like this on my profile

This is what I have to offer you

I am kind, compassionate, intelligent, educated, and I have a strong sense of loyalty.

It wasn't word for word said like that, but fairly close. I think people want to know what you have to offer them. It doesn't sound like it is all about you if you state that these are the qualities you give to the relationship. If it is stated as an asset you offer to give the right person, it doesn't sound at all like it is all about you, it sounds like it is all about them .. at least this is what I think.

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