|
sheisreeds -> RE: Mono vs poly? (1/9/2014 9:31:20 PM)
|
Whew, it's exhausting jumping into a 15 page thread. As a youngin' I watched many poly relationships implode heinously. I was very certain I wasn't poly. After my marriage died it's slow death via attrition my thinking changed A LOT. I went poly and stayed that way for a few years. Initially I had no primary, and that was a ton of fun since I could do whatever so long as others involved knew I was doing whatever elsewhere.
Though I need a nest. I met my current partner, and low and behold we were both poly. Though we rapidly fell deeply in love and all of our other attachments fell away. We then decided to each take on other partners. It did not go very well, six months in it was taking a huge toll on us, and on our other relationships. We had become the be all end all to one another. We didn't have enough to give to other partners, and what little we gave to them took too much away from our relationship.
We came into our relationship thinking that it was impossible for one person to meet all our needs, that we could never ever possibly meet that one and only. And ohhh, look, that's exactly what we found.
Surviving going in and out of poly, us getting together while we were both going through divorces, amongst many other hurdles we have hopped just makes us stronger, it's kinda insane all the shit that hasn't broken us.
At this point neither of us are anti poly, though the drama attached is not something either of us want.
I don't think for the the foreseeable future either of us are capable of falling in love with someone else. That receptor is fully jammed up with the wonder that is our relationship.
Oddly even though we are both bisexual switches with a wide variety of interests, with no where near complete overlap, I don't find myself seeking anything outside of what we have.
If anything it's a willpower to bring anything we can into what we have.
As sadistic and dominant as I can be I have a DEEP DEEP submissive masochist streak. Which is hard to honor in a dynamic as chaotic as mine. Handing over the reigns to an equal, for me is WAY harder than in a set D/s relationship. Though pushing that through in me, for us, within us, makes us stronger.
So for us monogamy has worked well. Unexpectedly so. If you asked us 5 years ago if this is where we would be five years later, we'd think this impossible.
We since going mono have still played with others, but usually together. We're also a very high energy chaos engine, and have often had friends join in or help out in some of our hijinks. We're ok with it so long as the parties involved are into us, not one of us.
|
|
|
|
