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how to write add - 8/24/2013 7:47:18 PM   
sml53


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
please look at new profile and let me know what you think,thank you sub rob
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: how to write add - 8/24/2013 8:19:05 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
Rob, I don't mean to bum you out or belittle you. I know you're trying. I wish you every success, but there are still problems with your profile.

To my taste there are still not enough vanilla references. You say you like to build things, then list a bunch of kinky furniture. What have you built that you are proud of besides kinky stuff? A beautiful table or an addition to your home? Perhaps you'd like to post a picture of your creation? You said 'travel'; where have you gone? Where would you like to go? What is it about traveling that threads your throttle?

You say you want to please your partner in all ways possible. That's just too broad a statement to be taken seriously. Would you be more specific? How can you make her life easier? Would you offer to mow the lawn, wash the dishes, change the oil in the car, learn how to give a great massage, manicure, pedicure, fold laundry, build her a footstool so she can reach those high cupboards when you're not around to help? Would you help care for her non-human pets, drive her where she needs to go, prepare a nice meal or take her out when she doesn't want to bother with cooking? If she gave you a list, would you do the grocery shopping? (Hint: arrange who is responsible for paying beforehand. For me, it's just nice to have someone else do it when I'm really busy or tired, so I hand over the list and $$ before I go put my feet up.)

The above are examples of service many/most women actually want from a partner. Sexual service could be included, but since it's so readily available it's generally way down the list after the day-to-day stuff. Let her be the one to bring it up.

Also, take the following with a grain of salt because it's no secret I'm an ardent spelling police/grammar nazi around here; not everyone might care as much as I do but MANY do. Your profile narrative is your ONE chance to make a good first impression so do think about cleaning up those problems. The correct spellings are 'mistress', 'obedient', 'command', 'beck and call', 'ma'am', 'I'm'. I don't have time at the moment to correct the punctuation.

Good on you for continuing to fine-tune your presentation. Very best of luck to you.

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 8/24/2013 8:25:01 PM >

(in reply to sml53)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: how to write add - 8/24/2013 8:27:24 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sml53

please look at new profile and let me know what you think,thank you sub rob


Sentences should start with capital letters. None of yours do.

I see that you're trying, but the profile is still bad. Very bad. Try again.

(in reply to sml53)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: how to write add - 8/31/2013 3:00:02 PM   
sml53


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
guess ill try again

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 4
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