RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression

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plutaro -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/3/2013 4:37:12 AM)
quote: I said when, not if), ask about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It takes work and dedication but it can help fix some of the thought patterns which contribute. It's not just a case of popping a pill and feeling better, it's an active way of stopping the spirals of negativity. i tried CBT too, it helped me kill my paranoid thoughts but i still feel so much bad. My sister was seeing things and i heard she tried to kill herself but i don't really know what she told the doctors to get in the homes but those homes are horrible i would rather die than be in one, they just feed her fat food and drugs, there is cameras everywhere, gates everywhere the walls are so bleak of colour, there is always someone watching through a slit in the wall or a camera. I am going to the beach tonight and i am going to tell all my friends everything. Last night was so bad i was running for miles looking for enough pain to out run it, eventually i found this secluded almost secret public footpath and i just sat down and i looked at the stars and i cried for a while but after a while of looking at the stars i started to feel better.

SweetAnise -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/3/2013 5:21:15 AM)
Sounds like you need to be in a hospital getting professional help not on a forum discussing your depression. Sorry to sound so insensitive but someone who comes on a forum discussing in detail about how depressed they are and then with every suggestion refutes and battles others...are either in crisis and in need of help NOW or you're simply looking for FREE counseling online from people who may or may not be able to help you or seeking attention. Pick up your phone or go to the clinic and get some real help. Find a real therapist. BDSM does not help with depression it is a form of fantasy and play...your depression is real (I think) and therefore before you decide to jump into playing you need to deal with your chronic illness. BDSM cannot and will not help you with this...and I think you know better. Go get some real help. Stay on your medications (meaning don't start and stop taking them when you want too) and get some counseling and work through your stuff. Mental illness is REAL. Depression is painful. GET HELP. I wish you well.

Gauge -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/3/2013 10:13:17 AM)
I am going to go on the side of being a bit harsh with you for the sake of clarity, not because I want to be harsh with someone experiencing crushing depression. You have two choices. Do nothing and keep complaining about how your depression is ruling your life, or get help. It is really that simple. Now, I understand depression because I have struggled with it all my life, but I am here to tell you that wallowing in your condition and excusing your way out of treatment is a recipe for disaster. Either you want the help or you don't. There is nothing else to be said about that. Your treatment is directly related to your ability to be honest with your friends, family and most importantly, honesty with yourself. Be honest with your doctor, for fuck sake, this is the guy who CAN get you the help you need. What you are suffering from right now is depression that is untreated. So, how's that working for you? If you keep making excuses why you won't do this or that and talking yourself out of getting help then you have yourself to blame. Mental Illness is nothing to be ashamed of any more than you would be ashamed to have diabetes, cancer or something like that. We are the ones that have got to take the steps to get the help even if it is just reaching out to someone close to you and opening up about how horrible you feel. But you have to be willing to get help. Are you willing? You don't sound like you are, but if you are willing then do SOMETHING. You sound like you need to be in the hospital, it may be the very best choice for you at the moment. Those places are not hotels, they are treatment facilities so forget about how they look and what they feed you, and focus on why you would go there in the first place. You sound like you have "tried" a lot of things but you never stuck with them because they didn't work for you. This is one of the most difficult things to deal with when you have problems like this; there is no cookie cutter solution to your problem. One therapy and one medication treatment may not work, but another might, but you have got to suck it up and keep trying until they hit the combination that works. Mental health treatment is a marathon, not a sprint. There are no easy answers in some cases, but there ARE answers, you just have to try. I am not going to mollycoddle you, everyone else can lambaste me for it, but I don't care. You need to wake the fuck up because you are drowning. Think long and hard about what you do next, because what you decide may mean the difference between your own mental well being and your own demise. Mental illness can be a fatal disease, but one that can be treated with great success. The treatments have come leaps and bounds over the last 50 years from what they once were. Look, this is your life, you do what you want to do, and I know how fucking helpless you feel, but you are in control of whether or not you are going to continue to feel like shit or not. Dig deep, and believe that there is help for you because there is help and hope. You have got to stick with the treatment, no matter what... and that means if the meds don't agree with you, you have got to give them a chance to work unless there are side effects that you cannot absolutely tolerate. I believe that you think there is no hope. I can tell you that there is hope, and that just a little effort on your part can begin that process so you can see that for yourself. I hope you choose the right things for yourself. One last thing: Notice I didn't mention BDSM? I didn't mention it because it has absolutely nothing to do with the core problem that you have. Once you get that treated, then come back and ask the same question, but until that time, you have bigger problems to face.

SoulAlloy -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/3/2013 11:10:22 AM)
Deffo go back to doctors, am in Lancashire too and have been through many of the NHS hoops for counselling, CBT and various meds. (There's a thread I started here in this section somewhere a few years back if you want to look through it, lots of various good advice from people in it) There are various meds you can try, I'd suggest seeing your doctor and telling him the citalopram isn't working and you'd like to try something else. Not sure where you are in Lancashire but there's a free counselling service here: http://www.northlancscounselling.org.uk/ There's a Fylde area support group for self harm too, can be found on the link below: http://www.getconnected.org.uk/get_help/harming_yourself/self_harm Honestly BDSM has never done me any good when I've tried to vent my depression through it, it invariably makes it worse or has no effect whatsoever.

LittleGirlHeart -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/3/2013 11:28:30 AM)
Now, I am not in England, but here in Sacramento I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance for sudden and severe chest pains, and when i told them i was under so much stress i was hurting myself and would likely do so again, they put me on a hold, had a pych guy come talk to me, and he recommended that i go into pych care but he would leave it up to me , then had me admitted to the mental hospital that day. Now, maybe if i had said no, i will not go it would have been different. quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders You think if you tell someone you cut yourself, you will be institutionalised. This is faulty thinking -a massive oversimplification and expecting the worse. It is very, very hard to get someone held under the mental health act. In many cases people who want that kind of help can't get it. The sad truth is that mental health wards are overstretched and unless you are deemed to be at imminent risk of suicide or a danger to others, you are very unlikely to be held. The fact that you are seeking help will demonstrate that you are less of a risk. Worst case scenario and you get sent to hospital - at least you will be getting focused medical care and attention.

metamorfosis -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/3/2013 7:31:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: plutaro i tried citalopram for .....about 8 months, i tried councelling for i cant remember and therapy for i cant remember but it was alot of weeks. The drugs just gave me diarrhea and made me feel dead and a unnatural complacency i could not feel anything it was even worse. OP, nobody finds the right shrink or meds right away. It takes time, effort, trial and error, and perseverence. If think you just show up and they hand you contentment on a platter... you're wrong. It takes a significant investment of time and effort on your part. Notwithstanding the fact that it's their job and you're paying them for it, it takes time. A lot of time. And a lot of work. Yours. Which is why you should start now, instead if waiting for things to get worse. It often takes months to get in to see somebody. You can't afford to wait until it's a crisis. By then it will be too late. Most every city has a mental health crisis center. Find yours, and tell this to them. They are qualified to deal with the problem, we aren't. Not only is it counterproductive to seek solace on the internet, it's also selfish. Posting this here will do nothing more than upset a bunch of well meaning people who are absolutely powerless to help anyway. This is not the place form that sort of thing. That number is 911. It's selfish to post shit like this.

graceadieu -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/3/2013 9:03:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: plutaro i tried citalopram for .....about 8 months, i tried councelling for i cant remember and therapy for i cant remember but it was alot of weeks. The drugs just gave me diarrhea and made me feel dead and a unnatural complacency i could not feel anything it was even worse. I know this probably sounds awful, but you need to experiment with some different medications and at different doses. There are literally dozens of different antidepressants, many of which work by totally different mechanisms. It can take at least a few tries to find something that both makes you feel less depressed and has tolerable/few side effects. I took, let's see... I think Zoloft, Paxil, Lexapro, Effexor, Celexa, and some tricyclic antidepressent whose name I forget but made me sleepy all the time, before I ended up on Lamictal (a mood stabilizer) and Wellbutrin. It was a crappy process, but in the end it was worth it. I.... frankly, I probably would not be alive today if I hadn't kept at it. I know it's hard to see this now, when you're in the thick of it. But you're in a very bad place, and there is help. So please, go get some help for yourself.

graceadieu -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/3/2013 9:16:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: plutaro i tried CBT too, it helped me kill my paranoid thoughts but i still feel so much bad. My sister was seeing things and i heard she tried to kill herself but i don't really know what she told the doctors to get in the homes but those homes are horrible i would rather die than be in one, they just feed her fat food and drugs, there is cameras everywhere, gates everywhere the walls are so bleak of colour, there is always someone watching through a slit in the wall or a camera. It sounds, from what you're saying, that your sister is schizophrenic. That's a whole world worse than being depressed, and can require much more intensive care. Most people that "only" have depressive disorders can, with proper treatment, live a normal healthy independant life. Even people that have attempted suicide in the past, such as myself, can usually do that. One suicide attempt will land you in a hospital ward for a couple weeks while they try different drugs on you and get you some therapy. That can actually be a huge help and a big wake-up call. But people that see and hear things that aren't there.... that requires much more serious drugs, which may or may not help much, and those people often don't have it together enough to work a job or manage bills. Being in a group home with other mentally ill people, as sad and oppressive as that is, is often the better alternative to being homeless.

DesFIP -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/4/2013 8:47:39 AM)
Thoughts or plans of suicide constitute a psychiatric emergency. Go to the hospital. I got lucky the last time I had a major depressive episode. It only took about three days before I realized I was planning to kill myself. I went to the doctor and asked her for a referral to a psychiatrist experienced in genetic mood disorders. She wanted me in the hospital for the weekend but I refused. However she did put me on Zoloft and it was a first time lucky choice. By the time I saw the psychiatrist a few days later, the suicidal ideation had lifted but left me with nausea and anxiety. Increasing my anxiety was not acceptable and I was clear about that. He reduced the dosage to about a quarter of the starter pack my primary had given me and over the next two years I slowly moved up from 12.5 mgs to 200 mgs. At 200, you're supposed to feel like a zombie but it gave me back full energy that I hadn't had in years. There are treatments now that did not exist when I was a kid. Hell, the first time I wasn't even diagnosed with it because no one believed children could become depressed. That's fifty years ago. At the time the only option was severe electro shock therapy and no one would give it to me because the side effects were so awful. Today there are SSRIs, NSRIs, tricyclics, anticonvulsants and atypical antipsychotics. And if nothing else works, modern ECT can be a godsend with very low side effects. I did well on SSRIs. My daughter, a couple of years older than you, is on a combination of anticonvulsants and atypical antipsychotics. Mood disorders run in my family. They're not a life sentence. They are treatable. Demand treatment. If you don't feel right on a med or a dosage, demand it be changed or adjusted. I had no energy on a dosage of 150 mgs. When he finally raised it, I did great. In the meantime, don't drink or do recreational pharmaceuticals. They'll make the depression worse and prevent the medications from being effective. _____________________________

littlewonder -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/4/2013 8:07:33 PM)
Oh yeah. It's one of the reasons I rarely ever drink. When I have a couple of drinks, I feel great until the next morning and my depression gets so bad that well....I'm gonna leave it at that. It's gets really fucked up. It's a crash like no other crash. So no, don't drink or do other drugs unless they are prescribed to you.

JeffBC -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/5/2013 10:57:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: plutaro it is so easy for you to say that, i am trying all i can and the depression is so powerful it stops me doing anything like i just want to lie down and die. I sympathize having gone through a short-term but fairy nasty bout myself just recently. For me, I took a two pronged approach: First I looked at root cause.. what was making me depressed? In my case it was largely just getting in over my head with a bunch of commitments I'd made (like leading this non-profit I took over) and the world started looking overwhelming. So I grabbed a shovel and started digging out of the hole I'd dug myself into. Yes, it was TERRIBLY hard to force myself to work and I was at best, 50% effective. But I shoveled what I could and I used what willpower I had to force myself beyond what seemed possible... day after day... hour after hour. It was (and is) a brutal slog... although things are improving now. When it became clear that anxiety was also a part of this and preventing sleep which, of course, adds both to the depression AND the inability to shovel effectively I googled on sleep and tried the obvious "clean living" solutions. But things had gone too far so I ended up with a 30 day prescription of valium. So for the last 2 nights I have slept and I'm shoveling out of the hole progressively more effectively and that is working strongly against the depression and anxiety. edited to add: For me personally I'd avoid any such drugs produced by big-pharma unless my life was literally in the balance. Generally I think the chemists there are like chimps flinging poo against a wall hoping something will stick somehow. The FDA is non-existent. So when you take a pill... particularly any of these newer mental health pills, you're basically consuming some unknown poison with massively varied side effects. That's why my choice was valium. At least that's been out in the market long enough that we know what it does (good & bad) without the need for trusting the FDA. Have you tried clean living? (yeah, I know it's hard as hell)... but honestly, as a doctor a long time ago said to me once, nobody ever hurt themselves with sunshine, fresh air, exercise, good diet and good sleep.

DesFIP -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/5/2013 6:11:18 PM)
So if you were living a hundred years ago, you would not have taken insulin had you developed diabetes? Because there wasn't sufficient time to see the side effects. And yes, back then it was considered morally wrong to take it or give it to your children. Apparently having them die was the preferred option. When we talk about severe depression with suicidal ideation, that's what his choice is. Find a medication that works, and will probably only be needed for 18 months, or risk death. I'm lucky, I've survived a couple of suicide attempts and lived long enough to find treatment that has put me in remission for probably the rest of my life. Can you guarantee that this young man will survive attempting suicide? And considering the first SSRIs came out in the early 90's, I'd say 20 years does give us a lot of long term info.

TeaseAndSpankMe -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/5/2013 6:32:17 PM)
Sorry, but Fast Reply here & this is an important health issue. I could easily write a long-winded post on this, but I will try not to do so. I truly believe that the gut is our second brain. Please, do yourself a favor and google "gut health and depression". I know what I write may upset some folks, but if it leads to thought & discussion then that is a GOOD thing. https://www.google.com/webhp?source=search_app#q=gut+health+and+depression Many years ago, it was suggested to me to take anti-depressants "just in case"....excuse me? WTF is that?? Who does that? I declined. I was going to be going through a major surgery & with what my due diligence & research came up with is the fact that it screws up your immunity, which is exactly what you need. At the end of the day, our gut holds the key to our health....it can be complicated. I think it is paramount to find a practitioner or naturopathic that promotes consuming foods to heal the body rather than writing Rx Scripts to line the pockets of the Big Pharma industry. That's a hard pill to swallow for many (no pun intended). I have family members you succumb to the Rx Scripts, but, guess what? it's an easy out to pop the pill VS. being proactive and at the very least getting their diet in order. Google gut flora, depression, live probiotics, lacto-fermented food, etc. Again, I am writing this quickly, so please do not take what I write in a bad light. I honestly, feel for folks suffering like this. I turned down the anti-depressants for me...I was NOT depressed in the least....shocked to have to go through a major surgery, yes. Did THAT require a pill to pop. No. This is different from your experience. But, I do hope at least something here in your research leads you to the right path & decisions for YOUR health. Many blessings & be well. Again, I a pologize for not reading the previous posts first.

JeffBC -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/5/2013 7:41:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP So if you were living a hundred years ago, you would not have taken insulin had you developed diabetes? Because there wasn't sufficient time to see the side effects. Did you even read what I wrote? Insulin is not a psych med. Not taking it is life threatening. Yes, I'd take insulin then or now. That has no bearing on my opinion of big pharma nowadays and the utter lack of protection afforded by the FDA. In my opinion it's a lot like buying snake oil. Who knows? Maybe it'll help? Maybe not. Maybe it'll kill you. So best not to take it unless it's critically important.

TeaseAndSpankMe -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/5/2013 7:47:23 PM)
As far as insulin & diabetes goes.....I press for those going through that to read the book "Wheat Belly"... I am not at all diabetic, but, removing the grains helps in more ways than one...even dental health. Drop the grains & corn & go with grass fed meat & drop the horrible oils folks cook with & switch to coconut oil, ghee, humane palm oil, etc. Makes a huge difference. Also look at Kombucha. I have started doing that tea myself....amazing what probiotics do.

JeffBC -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/5/2013 7:53:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TeaseAndSpankMe Many years ago, it was suggested to me to take anti-depressants "just in case"....excuse me? WTF is that?? Who does that? Uh... specifically? The medical institution does that. I've been virtually forced to take valium "just in case" even though I assured the doctor that I didn't need valium and I had no anxiety about the procedure (lasik). Actually, I was more fascinated with being able to watch an operation from the inside out. How often do you get that chance? But no... must take valium.

SoulAlloy -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/6/2013 12:01:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP So if you were living a hundred years ago, you would not have taken insulin had you developed diabetes? Because there wasn't sufficient time to see the side effects. Did you even read what I wrote? Insulin is not a psych med. Not taking it is life threatening. Yes, I'd take insulin then or now. That has no bearing on my opinion of big pharma nowadays and the utter lack of protection afforded by the FDA. In my opinion it's a lot like buying snake oil. Who knows? Maybe it'll help? Maybe not. Maybe it'll kill you. So best not to take it unless it's critically important. Bit better than snake oil tbh, it's down to chemistry and the compounds that help rather than purely placebo effects. Without my first set of antidepressants I likely wouldn't be here, so I'd certainly consider depression having the potential to be life threatening. If I think of a suitable analogy to explain it better I'll post again later

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/6/2013 2:25:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TeaseAndSpankMe As far as insulin & diabetes goes.....I press for those going through that to read the book "Wheat Belly"... I am not at all diabetic, but, removing the grains helps in more ways than one...even dental health. Drop the grains & corn & go with grass fed meat & drop the horrible oils folks cook with & switch to coconut oil, ghee, humane palm oil, etc. Makes a huge difference. Also look at Kombucha. I have started doing that tea myself....amazing what probiotics do. I am diabetic and so is a friend of ours who is more advanced than I am - borderline insulin dependant. That advice is contra to everything he's been told and also contra to what I've been advised too. That advice comes from various UK doctors, both hospital and GP based. When I lived in the US for 8 months, I also saw a diabetic specialist there and that is also contra to her advice. I have increased my intake of natural grains and virtually removed all processed foods and fats. I tried palm oil, coconut oil and it just gave me severe diarrhoea - same with pro-biotics. Ghee makes me sick even though I love butter and that has no effect. I just use pure sunflower oil for the few things that need it. Cereals and grains together with a healthy diet works far better. The key is to eat small and regular and don't dehydrate yourself. So no, I think that's utter crap and potentially dangerous for a diabetic. ETA: Since changing my diet and added more grains to it, I have no longer needed any meds. My daughter is a full-time carer for our friend and she is slowly changing his diet too. The last few weeks has proven it - his blood sugar is now more stable and almost normal than it has been for years.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/6/2013 3:10:52 AM)
Not to mention 'Wheat Belly' is a pretty poorly supported book in terms of actual science. It's just another re-packaging of the low carb diet with an added 'omg gluten' as a selling point. http://www.aaccnet.org/publications/plexus/cfw/pastissues/2012/OpenDocuments/CFW-57-4-0177.pdf this article cites a lot of studies to explain why.

NiceAnimal -> RE: is bdsm good for someone with depression (9/7/2013 7:49:53 AM)
Okay, I am probably going to be running against the grain here, IDK. Endorphins and other feel good chemicals from pain _can_ be addictive. Addictive things can be either be an enjoyable recreation, or they can be something with a life of its own, or an escape. Self-harm during depressive episodes, well, it's like your trying to get in touch with your pain, but your running parallel to it. It sounds to me, from your post, that you are thinking on exactly on the right track. The whole thing about BDSM, IMO, is that it is roleplay, and that the psyche/mind should be balanced if it's to be constructive (IMO). If its out of balance, and your doing it for those reasons, sex and pain are powerful things, not to be treated too lightly IMO. There are lots of things that will help with your depression, temporary escape isn't one of them. Exercise, or sunlight, or genuine trusting empathy can create lasting changes in mood brain chemistry, unlike drugs or physical pleasure, or pain. Loving touch, someone listening and caring, caring for someone else. Interestingly even looking after plants, or pets cultivates some of the needed empathy. Eating well doesn't hurt. Making plans, setting goals, cultivating a philosophy on life. Trying to make sense of your past traumas, and emotional issues. Having, or reaching out to someone to listen, or care, is the very most important thing. Whether its a counciller, therapist, freind, family member, or whatever, if your depressed, you need someone to talk to, to hang with, or to care. That's step number one. Then when you find that support, you can look at the other things. Seek some empathy, find an caring ear. I do hope that helps. Best of luck to you.

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