RE: Inappropriate touching (Full Version)

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NuevaVida -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/4/2013 9:59:37 PM)

By the way, and this is a short hijack, I've wanted to tell you I love your sig line - It's something my late father would ALWAYS say every time he killed us at cards. When I see it, it makes me smile. :)




MasterCaneman -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/4/2013 10:09:56 PM)

That's funny. My dad used to say that to me all the time too. [:)]




NuevaVida -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/4/2013 10:19:54 PM)

Are you my brother?? [8D]




JeffBC -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/5/2013 8:41:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
Are you my brother?? [8D]

LOL, my ex had a similar saying...

"Age & treachery wins over youth and skill"




MasterCaneman -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/5/2013 9:06:55 AM)

Probably not, but my poppa did get around. Two half-sisters I know of. The actual saying is, "Age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm", but he changed it a bit.




Extravagasm -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/5/2013 10:16:17 AM)

An club or entertainment event with a very loud band (aren't they all now) is a common example where personal space is understood waived. Not talking about crowding here. That not it. It's just that you can't really speak to strangers or acquaintances, virtually without touching, in the presence of overwhelming sound.
Oh, there's a way, but it requires yelling directly in their face, which is always visibly resented.
People rarely oppose speaking in their ear, in those venues, despite expected body or arm contact.

BTW to Caneman & NuevaVida: Love the quote too. Use it flirting with younger people LOL




Hillwilliam -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/5/2013 10:18:07 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
Are you my brother?? [8D]

LOL, my ex had a similar saying...

"Age & treachery wins over youth and skill"

When I coached wrestling, my version of it was "Old age and treachery trumps youthful exuberance every time" (Usually, I'd save that to say when someone was in pain)




MasterCaneman -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/5/2013 10:22:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Extravagasm

An club or entertainment event with a very loud band (aren't they all now) is a common example where personal space is understood waived. Not talking about crowding here. That not it. It's just that you can't really speak to strangers or acquaintances, virtually without touching, in the presence of overwhelming sound.
Oh, there's a way, but it requires yelling directly in their face, which is always visibly resented.
People rarely oppose speaking in their ear, in those venues, despite expected body or arm contact.

BTW to Caneman & NuevaVida: Love the quote too. Use it flirting with younger people LOL

Oh yes, in a situation like that I have to expect that shoulder tap and lean in. I worked as a bartender and bouncer long enough. My brain resets itself for those times. Still don't like it, but have no issues coping with it. Of course, I rarely go those places anymore (thanks hearing loss!), but you have to be flexible. My peeve is more when its in a setting where there's no real need for someone to do that, such as in my corner tavern, a friend's house, store, parking lot, etc. My head's not "there" at those times, and resetting takes a little bit to do.




OrionTheWolf -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/5/2013 12:28:09 PM)

Experience and dirty fighting trump youth, was my old one. Now it is experience and a baseball bat ;)




MariaB -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/5/2013 12:43:36 PM)

I'm with DaddySatyr on the cheek kissing but then I'm European. If you are Italian, Spanish, French or even English, kissing on both cheeks as a greeting is very common. Its used as a way to introduce ourselves as well as a term of endearment and men kiss men as well as women. Also expect, if your a woman and you are sitting with Italian or French women, they will often reach out and touch you when they are chatting to you. Its not a sexual thing, just as the kiss on the cheek isn't sexual and I'm not sure why people would have a problem with it.

On the UK scene, people can be very touchy feely which is kind of nice amongst friends but can get annoying when its some random stranger. When you have a woman trying to snog you or touch your breasts, you either enjoy it or you're like me and say, 'did I give you permission to touch me?. No I didn't so fuck off' and believe me, that isn't the Domme in me!!






eulero83 -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/5/2013 1:47:10 PM)

My personal opinion is tht if you seek or are in a BDSM relationship is because you feel more comfortable if most is declared explicitly so setting rules, giving orders and so on, by contrast situation where you have to guess other person intention are usually on the safe zone borders. Said this I'm italian so for me a kiss on each cheek is a normal greeting between opposite sex persons particulary when you are introduced for the first time. Sometines happens between same sex person, it's common among girls and rare for boys but happens, honestly I feel akward when it's a boy that greets me that but it's very rare, but I never felt this as sexual or inapproprieate.




NuevaVida -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/5/2013 6:41:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Probably not, but my poppa did get around. Two half-sisters I know of. The actual saying is, "Age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm", but he changed it a bit.

He would would say that one a lot, but start it with "old":

"Old age and treachery will always overcome youth and ignorance" was one of his.

and then there was the one he said most often:

"Science and skill will always triumph over youth and inexperience." He'd say that to the point where he'd just look at you and say, "Science and skill..." and didn't have to finish.




LondonLatexGimp -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/6/2013 8:09:07 AM)

Don't come to Europe then. It is customary in many parts to kiss each cheek as a greeting.

That said you may be OK in Britain where we've developed the "Air Kiss" to avoid any unwanted human contact.




Nyteshade13 -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/6/2013 11:23:18 AM)

ok i have to ask what if some one came up to you in a bar(club, coffeehouse....ect) and said that they were dared to kiss someone on the hand/cheek. would you consider that rape?




LittleGirlHeart -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/6/2013 9:54:19 PM)

i know you prolly aren't asking the general room, but no. I wouldn't. I would however call it someone who doesn't understand personal space and good boundaries.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nyteshade13

ok i have to ask what if some one came up to you in a bar(club, coffeehouse....ect) and said that they were dared to kiss someone on the hand/cheek. would you consider that rape?




Level -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/6/2013 11:23:53 PM)

I would never kiss without an OK; but grabbing her by the nipples while yelling out "Hnnnngg!!!", I do feel that that's perfectly acceptable.




NuevaVida -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/7/2013 12:35:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I would never kiss without an OK; but grabbing her by the nipples while yelling out "Hnnnngg!!!", I do feel that that's perfectly acceptable.

LOL!!!




Level -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/7/2013 12:56:33 AM)

It is my customs! [8D]




freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/7/2013 3:03:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I think if you would have started the thread with this specific situation for discussion, this would have been a much different thread.

"Kissing" as a general category mixes different elements. People that I know well and have sincere affection for, I'll give them a quick kiss when saying hello or good-bye. I'm also the type to hug friends when meeting or parting.

I'd agree that somebody whom I barely know walking up to Me and kissing Me on the lips probably isn't appropriate. It might be if two people had just come home from a date and one person is leaving after walking a woman to her doorstep. If it was the latter and you weren't comfortable with the guy kissing you, I'd have to agree that you should have said something about your discomfort.

If you can fill in the details of the circumstances, I'd probably have more to go on.




This.

No one can automatically know what is and is not acceptable to you unless you communicate.


Perhaps a little knowledge of the law helps.

In the UK, any uninvited personal contact can be considered a crime.
Technically, even that innocent tap on the shoulder prior to "excuse me" can get you prosecuted under various degrees of assault charge from simple assault through assault and battery to aggravated assault and even attempted GBH (grievious bodily harm).
That may sound laughable but it is the law here.
I have even seen kids as young as 8 successfuly prosecute a teacher or even their parents for inadvertently touching them when attempting to usher them somewhere they didn't want to go.

So....that innocent peck-on-the-cheek greeting or a friendly hug??
To some, it really isn't appropriate at all if it is not asked for.

You think I'm joking??
"An assault is legally defined as an intentional reckless action causing a person to fear or expect personal violence or immediate unlawful force. An assault can therefore be deemed to take place where there has not been any physical contact, but there is a fear or expectation of violence. Battery is where someone has intentionally or recklessly inflicted unlawful force or personal violence on another. 

An offence of assault is tried in the magistrates' court, with a maximum fine of up to £5,000 and/or six months' imprisonment. 
If there is a racial element to the assault, the individual may be charged with racially aggravated assault under Section 29 of the Crime and Disorder Act 1998."
Also, children over the age of 10 are treated as adults when it comes to assault charges.

So technically, you don't even have to physically touch someone to be charged with assault.

So, irrespective of nationality, customs, intent, or thinking that some needs to make their boundaries clear to strangers, our laws here are very clear and that needs to be understood by everyone who is on our soil - living here or just visiting.

Extreme?? Maybe. Justified?? In many cases, yes.

If the recipient of such actions feel that the 'agressor' has over-friendly or sexual intentions, then other parts of that same law cen be brought into play as sexual harassment. The violence comes into play if that same recipient believes they would want to beat the shit out of someone for making unwarranted advances upon them. So the violence, or expected violence, doesn't have to originate from the agressor.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LondonLatexGimp
Don't come to Europe then. It is customary in many parts to kiss each cheek as a greeting.

That said you may be OK in Britain where we've developed the "Air Kiss" to avoid any unwanted human contact.

Even this "non-touching" gesture could be construed as an attempt at percieved future assault.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Nyteshade13
ok i have to ask what if some one came up to you in a bar(club, coffeehouse....ect) and said that they were dared to kiss someone on the hand/cheek. would you consider that rape?

In cases where the recipient did not ask or want that type of attention - then yes, quite possibly.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
It is my customs! [8D]

Then if you came to the UK, be prepared to be arrested, and possibly jailed, on criminal assault charges. [:D]




kallisto -> RE: Inappropriate touching (9/7/2013 5:51:53 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I would never kiss without an OK; but grabbing her by the nipples while yelling out "Hnnnngg!!!", I do feel that that's perfectly acceptable.



But of course .... I can't imagine anyone having a problem with that. [:)] [:)]




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