RE: Difference between sub and slave.

RE: Difference between sub and slave. (Full Version)

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seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/18/2013 10:50:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: stef The words have no universally agreed upon meaning as far as BDSM is concerned. Not only that, but trying to distinguish between the two can set off an argument usually associated with politics or religion. This is so true! ROFL OP, if I was to tell you that I need to be able to trust your: judgment and stability as a person; your ability to manage money, people and events that occur in your life; your emotional stability in adverse conditions; as well as no scat, permanent injury; children, animals and illegal activities; Would I then have no limits? Historically, the ancient Romans COULD .. cut off a slaves finger, hand ... or whatever, if it pleased the Owner. Or anything else, if it pleased the Owner. People were bought and sold on the auction block. Pure property! That honestly, isn't legal in our society ,,, so the word slave in a traditional sense is impossible. But with some limits, we can agree on a definition and role ... No? That is all you and your sub(s) or Dominant need to figure out between yourselves. And BTW ... being called a slave does turn me on tremendously, when said by a beautifully attractive Lady, in an intimate situations. So perhaps it is all really pet names, and the level of devotion demonstrated to the Mistress or Master. Along with personal preference. No?

JeffBC -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/20/2013 7:52:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ROPENHIGHHEELS Am I correct when I say that a submissive is a person with limits while a slave is a person without limits? No. The labels are undefined. Even if the labels WERE defined actual humans would never fit them.

OrionTheWolf -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/20/2013 10:16:05 AM)
~FR~ In the local area I started in, the word bottom was never used and in it's place was submissive. Submissive was a term used for those that were just into the play portion of it, and slave was used for those that were more into the relationship part of it. How it was explained to me is that a submissive may never have any type of kinky or BDSM relationship other than play and that a slave may never have any type of BDSM activity other than bondage necessary for confinement or physical punishment (neither of which are designed to bring enjoyment to anyone.) As I moved out of that arena I found the multitude of terms used and many inter-changeable to others. I also moved further away from BDSM activities other than power exchange relationships. I then found those that were into just power exchange relationships used a few more labels, and some were used inter-changeable. I then asked for a scorecard so I could keep track. How I define those terms for myself are: Submissive is a personality trait and denotes that the person defers to more dominant personalities, and prefers to not be in positions of authority. Slave is someone who is completely subservient to a person or thing. Those are how I see them but I would never expect others to see things as I do within this community.

Greta75 -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/20/2013 10:56:35 AM)
My basic understanding is definitely, a slave has chosen give up their right to make any decisions in their own life and have entrust all of that into a dom's hand and will defer to him in everything. Clearly in a realistic world where true slavery is illegal, and where even a slave will always have a way out of slavery, compatibility makes this more effective. And a Sub picks and chooses what they allow a dom to control.

SailingBum -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/20/2013 11:12:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ROPENHIGHHEELS Am I correct when I say that a submissive is a person with limits while a slave is a person without limits? When I see profiles on here which say "I'm looking for a submissive that's a slave" it makes me wonder if they have any clue about the lifestyle. Or is it my understanding of the two words that is wrong? Explanations are appreciated. I know when I want to have a better understanding of a statement. Typically I will ask random strangers.... Instead of going directly to the source. ie the person that said it. Just saying BadOne

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/20/2013 12:45:25 PM)
~FR~ quote: ORIGINAL: ROPENHIGHHEELS Am I correct when I say that a submissive is a person with limits while a slave is a person without limits? When I see profiles on here which say "I'm looking for a submissive that's a slave" it makes me wonder if they have any clue about the lifestyle. Or is it my understanding of the two words that is wrong? Explanations are appreciated. No, you are not correct. A submissive is a person who submits and who prefers the word "submissive" to describe himself. Oustide of the BDSM community, a slave is a person who is involuntarily held to service. Within the community, a slave is a person who prefers the word "slave" to describe himself. I have known people in very heavy power exchange dynamics who don't use the words master and slave to describe themselves. I have known others in very casual relationships who do use those words. So, in the end, there are no concrete, objective differences between these words. It's a matter of "whatever floats your boat."

SailingBum -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/20/2013 12:51:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle ~FR~ quote: ORIGINAL: ROPENHIGHHEELS Am I correct when I say that a submissive is a person with limits while a slave is a person without limits? When I see profiles on here which say "I'm looking for a submissive that's a slave" it makes me wonder if they have any clue about the lifestyle. Or is it my understanding of the two words that is wrong? Explanations are appreciated. No, you are not correct. A submissive is a person who submits and who prefers the word "submissive" to describe himself. Oustide of the BDSM community, a slave is a person who is involuntarily held to service. Within the community, a slave is a person who prefers the word "slave" to describe himself. I have known people in very heavy power exchange dynamics who don't use the words master and slave to describe themselves. I have known others in very casual relationships who do use those words. So, in the end, there are no concrete, objective differences between these words. It's a matter of "whatever floats your boat." I'm thinking the OP was trying to stir up the sub/slave topic for whatever reason. Referring to another user as clueless was my first "clue" <Like the subject has not been beat to death on CM over the years> BadOne

CatBBW -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/25/2013 1:29:05 PM)
Ah dang. I read this thread hoping it would all become clear, but now I'm none the wiser [:D] I was trying to explain to Mr Cat earlier what the difference was (he asked). I thought I knew, until I started talking. And then I realised I didn't. In my mind, a slave is always a sub, but a sub isn't necessarily a slave. You could have a Dom/me who switched to being sub in playtimes, but s/he will never be a slave. Subs will clean the Dom/me's shoes, while the slave will lick them clean. And then I had to stop as Mr Cat's brain looked like it was about to explode. So in my own mind there's a difference, while I accept there is no difference.

JeffBC -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/25/2013 4:30:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatBBW So in my own mind there's a difference, while I accept there is no difference. This statement I totally understand. Between Carol and I there is a very definite difference. But if I'm seeking to understand some relationship other than my own the first step is recognizing that it's not my relationship and different rules apply.

ChrchofDrk -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/25/2013 4:42:51 PM)
I tend to treat either the same. Whether sub or slave. Some may take umbrage with that, that's their problem. However, as I was taught. A submissive always retains the right to negotiate. Whereas the slave gives consent but once and from that point consent is always considered in place. Barring any predetermined hard limits

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/25/2013 5:04:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ROPENHIGHHEELS Am I correct when I say that a submissive is a person with limits while a slave is a person without limits? When I see profiles on here which say "I'm looking for a submissive that's a slave" it makes me wonder if they have any clue about the lifestyle. Or is it my understanding of the two words that is wrong? Explanations are appreciated. I haven't read any of the other replies, so I apologize if I repeat what has already been said. Don't worry about labels and titles. Those are subjective and open to interpretation. All that matters is what you are looking for, and what your partner is looking for. If those two are compatible, then the labels really don't matter, do they? Good luck to you. -Roch

AbsoluteOverlord -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/25/2013 5:07:59 PM)
The difference between a sub and a slave is that a slave is too busy serving their owner and have no time to answer stupid questions like this.

Winterapple -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/25/2013 6:53:39 PM)
FR Threads on this subject always turn out well. This is only page two so the hysterical breakdown/hissy fits, games of oneupmanship and the inevitable thread lock are still to come. All slaves are submissives but not all submissives are slaves. In my mind they are two distinct things but for others the definitions are blurrier. Some people are very turned on by the word slave and use it giddily. Personally, I think the word slave always has a somber or sober cast to it and is at odds with dynamics that seem to consist of bedroom bottoming for the most part. People can call themselves whatever they like and define it as they choose. It's always good to remember that how they define might not be how another defines. When you see someone in a profile self identifying as a slave or looking for a slave the common sense thing to do would be to ask them how they define it.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/25/2013 7:19:43 PM)
I love this topic. Let me know when we get to the "if Master told you to chop off a finger" part.

catize -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/25/2013 8:14:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist I love this topic. Let me know when we get to the "if Master told you to chop off a finger" part. Mine or his? [:D]

theshytype -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/25/2013 8:53:36 PM)
NM

sexiifindomme -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/25/2013 9:33:07 PM)
Interesting...

ResidentSadist -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/25/2013 10:21:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist I love this topic. Let me know when we get to the "if Master told you to chop off a finger" part. Mine or his? [:D] Now that's funny as hell!

LadyPact -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/26/2013 8:21:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist I love this topic. Let me know when we get to the "if Master told you to chop off a finger" part. There's a rather amusing discussion on the other site of discussing the situation from the other side of the slash. New fetish being called lopping from the bottom.

SunTzuSwe -> RE: Difference between sub and slave. (9/26/2013 8:38:06 AM)
I agree with the people who have commented on the inevitable breakdown for a thread like this one. Still it's imho ridiculously simple, the slave epithet is most likely used to denote a perceived deeper submission that reaches into everyday life in a notable way. But hey, there's no "one size fits all", there will always be disagreements.

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