getting in tune

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getting in tune - 10/9/2013 2:57:03 PM

marknirx

Posts: 4
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Hi All

Any advice on getting in tune with a more experienced sub, apart from communication?

I would appreciate and help you can give me.

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RE: getting in tune - 10/9/2013 3:14:48 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Pay attention and see how he/she responds.

But experience doesn't matter because they aren't experienced with you. Every new relationship is a learning experience and things they didn't like with their ex, because of how he/she came across can be totally opposite with you.

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RE: getting in tune - 10/9/2013 7:36:07 PM

kalikshama

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Practice

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RE: getting in tune - 10/9/2013 11:04:13 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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Joined: 3/15/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: marknirx

Hi All

Any advice on getting in tune with a more experienced sub, apart from communication?

I would appreciate and help you can give me.

You have relationship experience, right? That's the most useful type of experience.

Otherwise, read non fiction books, read here (and take everything on the internet with a pinch of salt), ask his/her opinion and advice on how things are going, be honest with yourself, don't feel you need to rush and find your own style rather than seeking to emulate how you think a dom 'should' act. Get out in the community and meet other people who are doing this to see how their relationships look and while you're at it, take some classes in the techniques you like.

But still, your most important tool is communication. I know, you know that already. But as someone said, the sub is still new to you, and no amount of experience lets you skip over the part about getting to know and trust each other. Try something new, discuss it honestly. Figure out what you both want and need. Be willing to adapt if things aren't working. Be a team - no keeping score. Both members of the team must be absolutely committed to working it out, and that will mean picking up each other's slack some times.

If you are both having fun, you are doing it right.

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RE: getting in tune - 10/9/2013 11:20:48 PM

SerWhiteTiger

Posts: 437
Joined: 8/12/2013
From: Why is my name Florida? That's a state!
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A good exercise is to sit with her in front of you and leaning into you, back to chest, and match your breathing to hers.

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RE: getting in tune - 10/10/2013 4:38:09 AM

petitespot

Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
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Just be yourself.

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RE: getting in tune - 10/10/2013 4:19:35 PM

marknirx

Posts: 4
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Thank you for all the input so far, The biggest thing you have done for me so far is to make me relax a lot. I am hoping to start a new relationship and have to properly connect on that level first but she has been open enough to tel me what her needs are so I believe we are off to a good start and hopefully the rest will follow in time, and with lots of practice.

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