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RE: confusing - 10/24/2013 4:50:29 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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My late dom had rules for me at home. In public he said he would never do anything to "out" or embarrass me in public. I still had to call him Sir, but that was about it. In a kinky setting I had a bunch of directives to follow, including not talking to dominants without his permission, and not wearing any clothes. I also had to ask permission to go to the bathroom.

You may make a distinction between vanilla public and kink public. The thing is, the rules you make need to reflect how you feel about the reasons behind them. I had to ask permission to go to the bathroom, because he wanted me to feel as if I needed his permission for even the most basic things. I wore no clothes because he liked to see my body. I didn't have to crawl because he didn't want to have to wait for me to get places - there was always a reason for the things he did or didn't want me to do.

The other thing you have to think about is that when you make a rule, you HAVE to enforce it. You can't let them slide. My Sir didn't have that many rules because he didn't want to have to enforce them. He said that he had done the gorean thing and it was too much trouble.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

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Post #: 21

RE: confusing - 10/24/2013 5:43:50 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

My initial reaction was, "What? She's TELLING you how to behave in public??"

But then I calmed down and reread it as she was expressing her preferences. (Whew, close one)

I agree with some others here: just act as a confident, in control person would, with maybe a twist.

I think DarkSteven mentioned walking with a hand at the small of her back. A great twist on that is what Sir does- He holds the back of my neck. It's subtle, you can't see it under my hair and it totally controls me as I move. I love it.

Other little things we do in public: He indicates where I will sit; if there is a buffet, I always make Him a plate and serve Him, He has gestures for me to hold His arm or stop talking (I'm a bit of a chatterbox), He walks in front or beside me- never behind- with me holding His hand.

BTW, the panty thing? He did it on our first face-to-face date. I had to go to the ladies room, remove my panties and give them to Him when I returned to the table. I was terrified. Years later, I found them while putting clothes away in His apartment. At first, I was like, Who's panties are these? (I know we didn't keep any from the last girl...) And then I realized they were mine! See? Doms can be sentimental, too.

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Post #: 22

RE: confusing - 10/24/2013 5:58:58 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Here's the thing: We have no idea what her idea of being a Dominant is. It could be realistic in which case the advice every gave is useful. It could be derived from a fantasy world like the Beauty books. It could be somewhere in between. Until he asks her and she tells him....it's all a moot point.

As for the panty thing....as long as it doesn't involve putting a mucous membrane against a germ riddled public surface....

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Post #: 23

RE: confusing - 10/24/2013 7:29:49 PM

celticmax

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/23/2013
Status: offline

Hey All

Thank you for all of the input, certainly food for thought and some of which I will be acting upon.

Some of you took completely the wrong meaning but I will excuse you since you do not know me or my past. I will say one thing, subs from different parts of the world have completely different and yet the same desires and expectations, my previous subs have not been from around here so I thought it best to seek some simple advise which for the most part I found.

Thank you all, I expect to have a discussion in the next few days.

Thank you

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Post #: 24

RE: confusing - 10/25/2013 8:42:11 PM

ladyzarah

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/16/2013
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In public, I would like for him to have his touch on the small of my back, my elbow guiding me through a crowd or holding my hand. Lean down and whisper something in my ear that sends a shiver of anticipation. If we'rd at a gathering and are separated, catch his glance across the room, that knowing look so I know that he's looking out for me. If were at dinner take the initative and order for me. Perhaps feet me dessert, guide me to the car hold open the door and settle me with a sexy look before closing the door. continue to romance us even after you've captivated us.

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Post #: 25