RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)?

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)?

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/29/2013 2:48:41 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14415
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Yeah...you missed the point.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Ilyrium)

Profile

Post #: 81

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (dife... - 10/29/2013 5:30:29 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

What goes through my logical mind is, "she must WANT us to look", otherwise, why does she show so much skin? Does she not know what she put on in the morning? Is she that clueless? Naaaah. Can't be. So, the only logical conclusion is that she WANTS to be looked at. There is no other logical conclusion available.

You know what's scarey about this???

It's the same line you hear from rapists and abusers.

Dude, really. You NEED to talk to a therapist before your stares and inappropriate actions take on a more dangerous action. I wouldn't be surprised if we hear down the road that you are sitting in jail or are dead.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Ilyrium)

Profile

Post #: 82

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (dife... - 10/29/2013 6:33:01 PM

Ilyrium

Posts: 189
Joined: 10/2/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
It's not the fact that you look that is the problem. It's the way you look at them that is wrong.

Hi freedomdwarf1,

While nobody could know HOW I look at a provocatively dressed stranger, even with my self-stated lecherous thoughts running amok, I DO UNDERSTAND your point.

In fact, most people here, who have provided adult insight into their take on the situation, have automatically assumed (from my livid description, of course) that I telegraph my evil thoughts to the stranger who is wearing the provocative clothing. Perhaps I do. I don't think I do, and, I must say, I've never been reprimanded nor have I seen anyone quickly arrange their skirt, get up in a huff, and leave to go tell the manager or something like that. (Maybe, I WISH I could telegraph my thoughts!) :)

So, I will take all your sincere and kindly advice well into consideration.

I repeat: I do understand that the vast majority of those here who have partaken in this intelligent conversation have tried to suggest to me that, even though I think I'm almost wholly incognito, most are trying to tell me that I'm decidedly not. Whom shall I believe? Myself? Or the vast majority? Seems that I should take what the majority feels into very thoughtful consideration, and I will.

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
Your eyes light up with those lecherous thoughts running through your head and THAT is what makes your "looking" into something creepy and even rape-y and very unwanted.

Hmmm... If that is the case, is the logic that I DON'T TELEGRAPH those lecherous thoughts if I am shy and keep my eyes down when they are in a position to be noticed?
(Women don't have eyes in the back of their head, for example.)

It seems that the "creepy" "rapey" moniker comes with the way the eyes follow. Since I don't think my eyes show a thing, of course I wouldn't think I look creepy or rapey; yet, what most people are saying is that I must be showing what I'm thinking with my eyes. Hmmm... how would I know? (Again, nobody has ever complained or said anything.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
This sort of behaviour is what makes the difference between a normal glance and the leer of a rapist or pedophile.

I'm not so sure that is true.

Take Ted Bundy for example. There was no more evil a rapist than he, yet, he charmed all his scores of women to their deaths. Or, take the classic pedophile, who actually apparently grooms and charms their way into kids' hearts. So, I'm not so sure that you, or anyone else, can tell the glance of a rapist or a pedophile. Luckily, I'm not in the least worried about appearing to be a rapist or a pedophile (I'm not sure WHERE little kids came into this equation though????).

While I'm sure there is no such thing as the leer of a rapist or pedophile, there certainly is such thing as the leer of a creep. So, the worst offense I will worry about is whether I am actually hiding the leer of a creep behind my gregarious and communicative smile.

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
This is why you need some serious therapy before those thoughts get you into some serious trouble and a jail sentence.

You'll note that I previously ignored all your comments about jail. At this point, I can't ignore it any longer. It's absolutely illogical for you to say ANYTHING about crimes here, because no crimes have been committed, and, I can't even fathom what you're talking about.

What you basically must be saying (which I find utterly unbelievable), is that if a woman dresses provocatively, she will be raped by anyone who looks at her in a way she probably doesn't even notice, but, even if she did, the worst thing the look would be would be that she would consider it creepy. That logic that looking at a woman who bares her breasts in public turns you into a rapist that must have therapy makes absolutely no sense, and really, has no place in this discussion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
People with those sort of lecherous stares are what makes the women feel creeped out.

I will repeat that I don't even think I'm being noticed, at the same time that I point out that most people here say that I am noticed.
If I'm noticed, nobody has overtly done anything about it. In fact, the woman who was baring her boobs in the grocery store chatted with me like anyone else would (I very often talk to strangers of all kinds, all the time - and my friends are shocked at how easily I strike up conversations since I can talk to anyone about just about anything).

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
What you are doing is just one step too far beyond normal.

Actually, from MY PERSPECTIVE, what I see clearly now is not that what I'm DOING is beyond normal (since I'm not actually doing anything); but what I'm THINKING is apparently far beyond normal. This was the interesting observation I ascertained from reading all the helpful advice.

I do realize that most people here think I'm DOING a lecherous look (which we've discussed adequately above); so we'll have to defer to the majority here, and assume that what I think is an innocent look, isn't perceived that way. But, remember: You have tremendous insight into my thoughts, that the stranger, 50 feet away, can't possibly have.

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
ETA: In case you hadn't realised, I'm a male.

Yes. I realized that. What matters not is your sex, but your ideas & intelligent discourse.

You'll note that I've responded directly to almost everyone (I've only left out the two people in my detailed responses, who did not have anything adult-like to say, one male, and one female).

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Profile

Post #: 83

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/29/2013 8:15:47 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Just because no one has admonished or said anything to you does not mean they didn't notice. Most women get the vibe of a creepy man and will do everything in her power to walk in the opposite direction to get as far away from him as possible. Most women I know, know when a man is leering. We get that feeling in our stomachs that says "that creepy man over there wants to stalk you. Run now before he approaches you and tries to talk to you".

I think most women know this feeling all too well.

I was just thinking how much you sound like a horny teenage boy. Like I said before, I think you need to get laid. But at the rate you're going, I don't see that happening anytime soon unless it's last call.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Ilyrium)

Profile

Post #: 84

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (dife... - 10/29/2013 9:47:51 PM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

Go to Bass Pro Shop, buy some doe urine (or something equally nasty smelling) and start carrying it around with you. Every time you get these "thoughts" in inappropriate circumstances, take you a big ole whiff of it. You may never be able to look at tits and ass again without nausea.

And also, get to a sex addiction anonymous meeting because........dayum.

And to answer your OP, no

_____________________________

I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

Profile

Post #: 85

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/29/2013 11:19:49 PM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

OP, I won't bother to quote any of your responses, where you are digging yourself a bigger hole each time. Despite being somewhat of a bitch my last post, I was actually trying to be helpful because anyone can pull up your posts and read them. It was glaringly apparent subtlely is wasted on males like you. A sledgehammer is more like it. You have made some acknowledgements so I will give you credit for those, but then in the same breath, you repeat the same offensive diatribe over and over again, ad nauseum. At this rate the only Domme you'll be able to get is by hiring an exhibitionistic ProDomme who doesn't mind being leered at. You think you're being so slick because nobody's called you out yet or slapped your face. Is that what it'll take for you to realize there is nothing surreptitious in the manner you have been describing your voyeuristic lechery?

Now I'm going to be a bitch. You know that Gettysburg Address b.s. you had to describe in such vivid detail? If any mofo was doing that or spelling out the alphabet on me, he'd get a swift kick. This also reveals your ignorance instead of showing how skilled in "technique" you are at going down on a woman. First of all, it's called eating p*ssy for a reason, not licking cl*t. It used to be men (and women as well) were clueless about the existence of the clitoris. Then men thought all they had to do was some penny-anny tongue-flicking and women should start singing the Hallelujah chorus in appreciation. It doesn't work that way, and no amount of time you spend down there is any indication of how good you are. When your former girlfriends came - if they weren't faking it to get you to stop - it was despite your efforts, not because of them. I doubt you would know how to make love to a woman if your life depended on it.

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to Ilyrium)

Profile

Post #: 86

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/30/2013 4:31:04 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

FR

Am I the only one who's read the OP's comments and thought, 'Somewhat suppressed bloke, has brains, fantasises too much' - and not much more than that? He's not struck me as a Ted Bundy and I cannot honestly see that we need to be thinking of getting the FBI onto him just yet.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to pompeii)

Profile

Post #: 87

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/30/2013 4:59:47 PM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

Am I the only one who's read the OP's comments and thought, 'Somewhat suppressed bloke, has brains, fantasises too much' - and not much more than that? He's not struck me as a Ted Bundy and I cannot honestly see that we need to be thinking of getting the FBI onto him just yet.

No, you're not the only one.

The more he writes, the more it seems to be more desperation over "that creepy guy" to me.
The less sex I get, the more I fantasize.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Profile

Post #: 88

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/30/2013 5:15:59 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theshytype
The less sex I get, the more I fantasize.

Me likewise. And the more I fantasise, the more women will become somehow beyond and above the 'ordinary human' for me. I know it's not good for the women who attract my attention in that way, and it's not good for me, either.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to theshytype)

Profile

Post #: 89

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/30/2013 6:01:05 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

a man may catch my eye briefly for some reason. eyes are my 'thing', so if he has pretty eyes i'll look. however, he'll hold my attention for barely a moment and that will be it. I won't be thinking about his cock, him fucking me, or me doing anything to him. why would I? he's just some random person I happened to pass some place. the thing is i'm straight and he could just as easily have been a woman that I thought the very same thing about. I can appreciate whether a woman is pretty, has a good figure, and is sexy in herself, but it doesn't mean I want to fuck her.

as for the attention I get. this will sound very big headed, but men have always wanted to fuck me from me being way too young. I don't know why as I certainly don't see anything when I look in the mirror. I've had guys say to me 'you're worth one aren't you? I mean I wouldn't leave (insert gf, partner, wife) for you, but if ever you fancy it give me a shout.' like it's a compliment. so i'm worth fucking behind your partner's back, but i'm not worth the commitment or loyalty of a relationship. yeah some compliment. even my ex's married best friend said that to me one night. my ex loved the amount of attention that I got because it made him feel good. it stroked his ego knowing that he had me, that he was my choice and they couldn't have me and thinking he was envied by them. he'd point it out to me all the time and couldn't understand why I couldn't care less. it's no compliment to me to know that you want to fuck me, but think nothing of me further than that. the only opinion that matters to me is the guy i'm actually with. the one who is my choice to be with. if he wants what I've got then that's great. I dress for him or myself not some random guy who stands no chance of ever getting near me. I am not an object. I am more than a piece of meat. I actually have a mind and feelings that need engaging too. as I already have a playmate, and he has my exclusivity, no-one else even remotely stands a chance of further thought on my part. he is the focus of my lust, and yes I stare at him because he's the one my brain and body are engaged with sexually.

as to the op's obsession with oral. I've seen time and time again guys claiming that they are the best a woman will ever have at oral. pleasure guaranteed! bull shit. plenty of men have tried and failed miserably with me. only my current playmate has ever made me cum from oral and that was the biggest shocker ever for me. generally though those who obsess about it the most are the worst at it. all gob on a stick and no talent.

needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Profile

Post #: 90

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (dife... - 10/30/2013 6:37:12 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Wrong thread

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 10/30/2013 6:38:24 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Ilyrium)

Profile

Post #: 91

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/30/2013 10:40:58 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

Am I the only one who's read the OP's comments and thought, 'Somewhat suppressed bloke, has brains, fantasises too much' - and not much more than that? He's not struck me as a Ted Bundy and I cannot honestly see that we need to be thinking of getting the FBI onto him just yet.

Most people who are sociopathic are not killers. (or rapists or anything like that...they are just very selfish and narcissistic in their thinking and behavior. No one mentioned calling the FBI.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Profile

Post #: 92

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/31/2013 6:43:24 AM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
Status: offline

quote:

Most people who are sociopathic are not killers. (or rapists or anything like that...they are just very selfish and narcissistic in their thinking and behavior. No one mentioned calling the FBI.

I believe he was being facetious.

I don't understand how, based on this thread alone (and even if over multiple threads) the OP can be labeled as being a sociopath.
This thread is about checking out women and lusting after them.
Anyone who checks someone out is self-serving. Whether be it a face, a smile, a walk, talk, ass, chest...
The fact that he's questioning it and whether or not women enjoy the attention leads me to believe the opposite.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Profile

Post #: 93

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/31/2013 10:07:18 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theshytype

quote:

Most people who are sociopathic are not killers. (or rapists or anything like that...they are just very selfish and narcissistic in their thinking and behavior. No one mentioned calling the FBI.

I believe he was being facetious.

I don't understand how, based on this thread alone (and even if over multiple threads) the OP can be labeled as being a sociopath.
This thread is about checking out women and lusting after them.
Anyone who checks someone out is self-serving. Whether be it a face, a smile, a walk, talk, ass, chest...
The fact that he's questioning it and whether or not women enjoy the attention leads me to believe the opposite.

I believe he was being facetious as well. I just wanted to point out that no one suggested that anyone should call law enforcement.

And you're right (as I pointed out when I made the statement) that I am obviously not capable of diagnosing anyone because I do not have the proper credentials and also because we are on an internet forum.

I *did* find it ironic (or perhaps interesting depending on his intentions) that whether by design or by coincidence, his posts had put me in mind of Ted Bundy, and then he just happened to bring up his name.

I think we'll have to disagree about him questioning himself about it, because where you see a gentleman questioning his (unusual) behavior, I see someone who really enjoys talking about these odd and anti-social things he does, and appears to enjoy the reaction he gets when he explains his mindset.

If he's a troll, he's gotten exactly what he wanted.
If he's a sociopath, this is a very enjoyable discussion for him.
If he's just a lecherous man, we've indulged him by talking about his favorite (non-consensual) past time.
If he's got a spectrum disorder, perhaps he'll see others' reactions to his unusual thoughts and seek some help.

****disclaimer number one: No one can diagnose another over the internet even if they are qualified to diagnose and treat mental disorders.

****disclaimer number two: I am not qualified to diagnose and treat mental disorders.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to theshytype)

Profile

Post #: 94

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/31/2013 10:45:03 AM

anaturalsubmiss

Posts: 49
Joined: 12/26/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

Am I the only one who's read the OP's comments and thought, 'Somewhat suppressed bloke, has brains, fantasises too much' - and not much more than that? He's not struck me as a Ted Bundy and I cannot honestly see that we need to be thinking of getting the FBI onto him just yet.

I don't know who brought up the crime and punishment part of this thread but absolutely nothing the OP has said strays anywhere near outside what happens every day all day to every one of us.

The creepy ones in this thread are those who suggest that just looking at someone is criminal and requires treatment.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Profile

Post #: 95

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/31/2013 9:51:06 PM

kevin32

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/21/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: anaturalsubmiss
I don't know who brought up the crime and punishment part of this thread but absolutely nothing the OP has said strays anywhere near outside what happens every day all day to every one of us.

The creepy ones in this thread are those who suggest that just looking at someone is criminal and requires treatment.

This. I was baffled by so many judgements and criticisms thrown at the OP, and equally astonished at his peaceful, non-confrontational resolve.

Ilyrium, I personally don't think anything is wrong with you. I think what's happening is you're simply expressing your love and appreciation for the female body through your thoughts. You should know that there is nothing wrong with this. You're as a blooming flower growing among the weeds of fear and separation.

It would seem that the creepiness factor only comes into play when a man is incongruent in his attitude. He wants to look but feels ashamed. He wants to express himself, but is afraid of backlash. But when you can boldly look at a woman's body through loving eyes, and revel in all those exciting feelings, even if she's a complete stranger and all you want to do is pleasure her, then on some level she will pick up on your sincerity and appreciate you in return, even if initially her conditioning resists and thinks something's wrong with you. When the tension between your interaction ends and you go your separate ways, she will ultimately say within herself, "He was appreciating me."

I am presently sending women into your life that you can enjoy the pleasure of beholding. But you should know that these women are not the kind you can only watch from a distance. They are women who are open to love, women who want not only to be looked at, but to be touched and ravished in love. And you are the man they are going to want enjoying them, freely.

The greatest thing you can do for humanity is be the man you feel yourself to be down in your soul. Embrace yourself as a man who appreciates the female body.

(in reply to anaturalsubmiss)

Profile

Post #: 96

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 10/31/2013 10:46:28 PM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

Hold on here--you're sending OP women from Texas to San Jose, CA?

quote:

ORIGINAL: kevin32

Ilyrium, I personally don't think anything is wrong with you.
<snip>
I am presently sending women into your life that you can enjoy the pleasure of beholding. But you should know that these women are not the kind you can only watch from a distance. They are women who are open to love, women who want not only to be looked at, but to be touched and ravished in love....

Based on your own creepy "Forced Submissive/Slave" (aka Kidnapping & Enslavement) discussion thread, are these women the ones you "acquired" through this method?
http://www.collarchat.com/m_4568130/tm.htm

(Birds of a feather flock together?

)

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to kevin32)

Profile

Post #: 97

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 11/1/2013 4:20:59 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kevin32

quote:

ORIGINAL: anaturalsubmiss
I don't know who brought up the crime and punishment part of this thread but absolutely nothing the OP has said strays anywhere near outside what happens every day all day to every one of us.

The creepy ones in this thread are those who suggest that just looking at someone is criminal and requires treatment.

This. I was baffled by so many judgements and criticisms thrown at the OP, and equally astonished at his peaceful, non-confrontational resolve.

Ilyrium, I personally don't think anything is wrong with you. I think what's happening is you're simply expressing your love and appreciation for the female body through your thoughts. You should know that there is nothing wrong with this. You're as a blooming flower growing among the weeds of fear and separation.

It would seem that the creepiness factor only comes into play when a man is incongruent in his attitude. He wants to look but feels ashamed. He wants to express himself, but is afraid of backlash. But when you can boldly look at a woman's body through loving eyes, and revel in all those exciting feelings, even if she's a complete stranger and all you want to do is pleasure her, then on some level she will pick up on your sincerity and appreciate you in return, even if initially her conditioning resists and thinks something's wrong with you. When the tension between your interaction ends and you go your separate ways, she will ultimately say within herself, "He was appreciating me."

I am presently sending women into your life that you can enjoy the pleasure of beholding. But you should know that these women are not the kind you can only watch from a distance. They are women who are open to love, women who want not only to be looked at, but to be touched and ravished in love. And you are the man they are going to want enjoying them, freely.

The greatest thing you can do for humanity is be the man you feel yourself to be down in your soul. Embrace yourself as a man who appreciates the female body.

yeah, when you've actually been a woman come back and tell us all how we really feel about this crap then ok?

until then i'd have that god complex you got going on there looked at. you can't send any woman to this guy for him to play out his fantasies on. any woman he tries that on with without her prior consent is going to call the cops at the very least.

needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to kevin32)

Profile

Post #: 98

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 11/1/2013 7:47:23 AM

Snitch

Posts: 105
Joined: 1/27/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
yeah, when you've actually been a woman come back and tell us all how we really feel about this crap then ok?

I don't see any problem whatsoever with the OPs attitude.
In fact, I'm surprised the OP took all the psychobabble crap handed to him, like a man.
If I called the cops on everyone in my life who stared a few minutes too long, I'd own my own jail by now.

< Message edited by Snitch -- 11/1/2013 7:48:53 AM >

(in reply to needlesandpins)

Profile

Post #: 99

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diff... - 11/1/2013 8:35:49 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Snitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
yeah, when you've actually been a woman come back and tell us all how we really feel about this crap then ok?

I don't see any problem whatsoever with the OPs attitude.
In fact, I'm surprised the OP took all the psychobabble crap handed to him, like a man.
If I called the cops on everyone in my life who stared a few minutes too long, I'd own my own jail by now.

except that I wasn't talking about staring too long was I? I was actually talking about touching without consent. so your point in relation to quoting me is invalid.

a lot of us see a lot wrong with the op's attitude. just because you are an exception doesn't mean that this guy now has free rein to keep leaching over every woman he sees with a bit of skin on show.

if you are the type to put it out there to bait a guy like this, and enjoy such attention then whoopee for you. personally I prefer to be seen as a fellow human being, not a walking sex currency to be added to his wank bank.

needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to Snitch)

Profile

Post #: 100