RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=-

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RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/11/2013 10:04:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
I think this is where it differs for some people. Some can only seem to get in the mood when the environment is right to stimulate that mood... For others the mood starts within and they can make their environment fit to their mood.

Agreed. I just don't understand why folks like Caneman or RS would be in the same club as the play like grey crowd. For exactly the reasons you mentioned such a club is trying to be "all things to all people" and will inevitably fail. I guess I'm suggesting segregation because honestly, they are not the same thing despite using the same 4 letters.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 4:12:28 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears
The easiest and fastest way to show you are clean is to donate blood.
Both you and your prospective partner should have or get a recent blood donation card,
preferably within the time frame of your courtship, although that is not a failsafe method.

Maybe I should respect thread drift and let this die, but as long as someone is asserting this as advice for newbies in the scene, I might as well point out that it is medically discouraged.

Mainstream medical advice is: don't use blood donation as a testing source. Any false negative will give you a false sense of security, and contaminate the blood supply. Please, first, ensure you are healthy, and only afterward donate blood.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to HoneyBears)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 5:55:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
Agreed. I just don't understand why folks like Caneman or RS would be in the same club as the play like grey crowd. For exactly the reasons you mentioned such a club is trying to be "all things to all people" and will inevitably fail. I guess I'm suggesting segregation because honestly, they are not the same thing despite using the same 4 letters.

I agree. While "open to all" is arguably a noble goal, I simply don't think it works. Fragmentation isn't necessarily a bad thing.

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to JeffBC)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 7:17:39 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
Agreed. I just don't understand why folks like Caneman or RS would be in the same club as the play like grey crowd. For exactly the reasons you mentioned such a club is trying to be "all things to all people" and will inevitably fail. I guess I'm suggesting segregation because honestly, they are not the same thing despite using the same 4 letters.

I agree. While "open to all" is arguably a noble goal, I simply don't think it works. Fragmentation isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I get that. I just don't understand why people think they need for walls to achieve that. I have always found it rather is to segregrate myself in a crowded room. Because person a and b are doing x of their doesn't affect me. Hell it's rather boring in a lot cases and it will go unnoticed to me. I find it rather lame that one is squicks out and stays and blames it on them for not conforming to ones sensitives. I find it just as lame at one that all twisted out because the grey crowd is in the room.

I just wonder when people walk their talk and actually accept that everyone is walking a different path on their journey and that is ok.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 7:28:35 AM

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Oh... By the way Jeff.... I think you need to consider Powel's lesson three. Segregation actually starts to put those elites in one room not so sure that is a good thing. In never thought group think to be a healthy thing. New blood I think helps! Even on these forums I find it can have a positive impact.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to JeffBC)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 7:47:56 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Oh... By the way Jeff.... I think you need to consider Powel's lesson three. Segregation actually starts to put those elites in one room not so sure that is a good thing. In never thought group think to be a healthy thing. New blood I think helps! Even on these forums I find it can have a positive impact.

Two angles on that:

For starters, what makes you think these "elite" groups wouldn't have new blood? IF their leaders had the leadership skills of Charlie Brown they would ponder that point and make sure they had an answer for it.

That, however is a BIG, BIG "if". I'm not at all convinced that all these "natural born leaders" in fact have said leadership skills. In that case my suggestion becomes a "go away and die" suggestion.

I'm content with either outcome. This thread still has me WAY torqued.

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 11/12/2013 7:54:15 AM >

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 8:33:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears
The easiest and fastest way to show you are clean is to donate blood.
Both you and your prospective partner should have or get a recent blood donation card,
preferably within the time frame of your courtship, although that is not a failsafe method.

Maybe I should respect thread drift and let this die, but as long as someone is asserting this as advice for newbies in the scene, I might as well point out that it is medically discouraged.

Mainstream medical advice is: don't use blood donation as a testing source. Any false negative will give you a false sense of security, and contaminate the blood supply. Please, first, ensure you are healthy, and only afterward donate blood.

They neglected to mention that timing of testing is also important to look at while handing out all this newbie saving advice. Id like to point out that it is recommended that a person wait 12 weeks from potential exposure to a blood borne pathogen until testing to ensure that seroconversion has taken place and antibody level in the blood is high enough to be picked up by conventional testing. By two months post-exposure, most people will have produced enough antibodies to be detected by standard tests. By three months out, 97% of people will have enough antibodies to test positive. My source: San Francisco AIDS Foundation. For the record, I am a state trained in HIV/Hep C testing and it's something I do on a routine basis.

So going out and being exposed to blood borne pathogens like HIV yesterday and then going out and donating blood next week will give that false sense of security in being negative you spoke of. I too thought this was bad advice, both for the reason you mentioned and what I brought up too.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 8:45:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears
The easiest and fastest way to show you are clean is to donate blood.
Both you and your prospective partner should have or get a recent blood donation card,
preferably within the time frame of your courtship, although that is not a failsafe method.

Maybe I should respect thread drift and let this die, but as long as someone is asserting this as advice for newbies in the scene, I might as well point out that it is medically discouraged.

Mainstream medical advice is: don't use blood donation as a testing source. Any false negative will give you a false sense of security, and contaminate the blood supply. Please, first, ensure you are healthy, and only afterward donate blood.

They neglected to mention that timing of testing is also important to look at while handing out all this newbie saving advice. Id like to point out that it is recommended that a person wait 12 weeks from potential exposure to a blood borne pathogen until testing to ensure that seroconversion has taken place and antibody level in the blood is high enough to be picked up by conventional testing. By two months post-exposure, most people will have produced enough antibodies to be detected by standard tests. By three months out, 97% of people will have enough antibodies to test positive. My source: San Francisco AIDS Foundation. For the record, I am a state trained in HIV/Hep C testing and it's something I do on a routine basis.

So going out and being exposed to blood borne pathogens like HIV yesterday and then going out and donating blood next week will give that false sense of security in being negative you spoke of. I too thought this was bad advice, both for the reason you mentioned and what I brought up too.

I was really pissed off when I saw that snippet of bad advise. Thanks RedMagic and SeekingTrinity for clearing that up.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

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RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 8:59:40 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
I was really pissed off when I saw that snippet of bad advise. Thanks RedMagic and SeekingTrinity for clearing that up.

Well obviously you're not following the plot well Maria. In this story Red is the evil, abusive, and unsafe player and HoneyBears is out protecting subs everywhere. You must be referring to some real world plot line were truth and accuracy and common sense matter.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to MariaB)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 10:44:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I get that. I just don't understand why people think they need for walls to achieve that. I have always found it rather is to segregrate myself in a crowded room. Because person a and b are doing x of their doesn't affect me. Hell it's rather boring in a lot cases and it will go unnoticed to me. I find it rather lame that one is squicks out and stays and blames it on them for not conforming to ones sensitives. I find it just as lame at one that all twisted out because the grey crowd is in the room.

I just wonder when people walk their talk and actually accept that everyone is walking a different path on their journey and that is ok.

Totally this ^

When we eventually closed our club doors for good, one of the promoters (there was three of us) decided to use the clubs good name and open an elite version. This version was a much 'darker', invite only club, where membership would be scrutinized and only the more serious 'players' would be considered. (today that would mean, none of the grey crowd'.

It lasted two months before miserably failing.

Whilst I like enjoy small private clubs from time to time, I don't believe I should need some qualification to get through the door. Being recommended should be enough. I hate elitist clubs.

When I'm in a club and I'm doing a scene with someone, I disappear into our own focussed bubble. Only if someone was to walk across and interrupt my scene would I be complaining. Newbies trying out the spanking bench whilst laughing and giggling wouldn't have an impact on me but then as a voyeur, I wouldn't be watching that sort of scene, I would be standing in the middle of the room with the crowd watching something a bit more edgy.

< Message edited by MariaB -- 11/12/2013 10:46:40 AM >

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 10:51:52 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
I was really pissed off when I saw that snippet of bad advise. Thanks RedMagic and SeekingTrinity for clearing that up.

Well obviously you're not following the plot well Maria. In this story Red is the evil, abusive, and unsafe player and HoneyBears is out protecting subs everywhere. You must be referring to some real world plot line were truth and accuracy and common sense matter.

Haha, well I'm sure Red can stand his ground and as a well respected person, not many of us are going to take a whole lot of notice of these ongoing put downs!

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

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RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 10:55:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Mainstream medical advice is: don't use blood donation as a testing source. Any false negative will give you a false sense of security, and contaminate the blood supply. Please, first, ensure you are healthy, and only afterward donate blood.

In the UK if you've had ...

tattoo, piercing or acupuncture in the past 12 months;

a blood transfusion since 1980 (me out);

unprotected male-on-male anal or male-on-male oral sex in the past 12 months (or you've had unprotected sex with a man who has done the above) ,

to live outside the UK for more than 6 months;

there's a good chance you can't give blood anyway.

Personally I'd rather head for the STI clinic and get checked out than rely on something as vague as blood donation.

_____________________________

The above is no more than my own experience wrapped up and presented as advice.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 11:46:04 AM

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Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I get that. I just don't understand why people think they need for walls to achieve that. I have always found it rather is to segregrate myself in a crowded room. Because person a and b are doing x of their doesn't affect me. Hell it's rather boring in a lot cases and it will go unnoticed to me. I find it rather lame that one is squicks out and stays and blames it on them for not conforming to ones sensitives. I find it just as lame at one that all twisted out because the grey crowd is in the room.

I just wonder when people walk their talk and actually accept that everyone is walking a different path on their journey and that is ok.

Totally this ^

When we eventually closed our club doors for good, one of the promoters (there was three of us) decided to use the clubs good name and open an elite version. This version was a much 'darker', invite only club, where membership would be scrutinized and only the more serious 'players' would be considered. (today that would mean, none of the grey crowd'.

It lasted two months before miserably failing.

Whilst I like enjoy small private clubs from time to time, I don't believe I should need some qualification to get through the door. Being recommended should be enough. I hate elitist clubs.

When I'm in a club and I'm doing a scene with someone, I disappear into our own focussed bubble. Only if someone was to walk across and interrupt my scene would I be complaining. Newbies trying out the spanking bench whilst laughing and giggling wouldn't have an impact on me but then as a voyeur, I wouldn't be watching that sort of scene, I would be standing in the middle of the room with the crowd watching something a bit more edgy.

Well damn, at least they're putting on a scene. My local club turned into an elitist shithole, with people openly sneering at your scene, (someone didn't approve of my IV technique), or, if bored, they stand around and discuss their various business ventures. I went last Saturday, and because the theme was supposed to be a "Winter Wonderland", I splurged and bought a stripper/rave-esque white fur outfit. A woman decided that while my body was, "OK", she didn't see how my clothing was 'fetish related'. At any time at this club, there are maybe 2 parties playing, and everyone else is standing around gabbing. I'm an exhibitionist, but goddamn, it's like showing off for a bunch of old pigeons.

For fucks sake, last time I went, there was a chili contest.

The club is in desperate need of fresh faces, and a younger crowd who is more interested in actual kink, then standing around judging the intricacies of the few people who want to play.

The arrogant, elitist attitude many people in the community put off is off-putting, and frankly, laughable. They chase away people who are just beginning to show an interest, and scoff at the scenes of inexperienced players.

I've been browsing the web, looking for different dungeons in the southeast, but have had no luck yet.

_____________________________

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(in reply to MariaB)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 12:02:58 PM

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Lynnxz, I think it must be the same the world over

You know what I think the problem is? I think a lot of the older guys, the ones who have been around forever and played within a very small scene, feel highly threatened by the younger and more boisterous crowd that are coming through. I mean, at one time, a mature bloke could guarantee picking up some young fresh newbie but with all these young Doms entering the scene, those opportunities get less and less.

Its clear for me as a woman and a fem Domme that many of the sub blokes in clubs now go for the newer fresher models but for most of us mature women, that has to be a good thing because it sorts out the visually needy submissives from those who enjoy a woman of substance!

< Message edited by MariaB -- 11/12/2013 12:03:38 PM >

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RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 12:11:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
it sorts out the visually needy submissives from those who enjoy a woman of substance!

Am I the only one who wants to see Lynnxz and MariaB model fur stripper outfits together? OMG.

...and, um, Lynnxz. I'd be happy to take one for the team and see how you looked that day. If you forced me to, of course.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MariaB)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 12:27:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
I mean, at one time, a mature bloke could guarantee picking up some young fresh newbie but with all these young Doms entering the scene, those opportunities get less and less.

Why do I suspect that this plays into EVERYTHING when it comes to the internal politics of BDSM?

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
..and, um, Lynnxz. I'd be happy to take one for the team and see how you looked that day. If you forced me to, of course.

And, of course, it wouldn't really be a proper review without a second opinion and if I must I suppose I'd do it <insert heavy sigh>

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to MariaB)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 12:38:54 PM

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lol, I think we are behaving like skeevy old pigeons. At least it helps me maintain my reputation as an online predator!

In all seriousness, Lynnxz: I've been to the Woodshed twice. Both times it was pretty cool. LadyHibiscus was with me one time, and she said it was the only club she'd ever been to where there were no masturbation trolls. (Not an exact quote, but that was what I got from what she said.) The youngest woman there was maybe 27, but there was a fair amount of play. Maybe six hours' drive from you? Not sure. Worth a thought -- maybe a decent weekend vacation.

And with that, I'm off the thread.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to JeffBC)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 12:54:36 PM

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From Lynnxz:

For fucks sake, last time I went, there was a chili contest.

That made me laugh so loud it spooked the cats !!

_____________________________

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RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 1:08:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Being in the same city as reeds, I completely understand where she is coming from and stuff Master and I noticed the couple of times we did attend a group or two in the area.

I admit I stopped going to groups many years ago because where it used to be people who understood d/s and M/s and it was respected, over the years it became an influx of fetishists who only attended to show off their costumes and act like they were at a renaissance festival. I got tired of all of the fairy wings, drugs and it just reminded me of a night club or rave. If you were actually M/s or d/s, no one took you seriously anymore and you were told to either "lighten up" or just laugh at you for being old fashioned and just plain old old. And I have found over the years it has just gotten even worse and now it's anything at all goes including drugs, including just out there to shock the "vanillas" and making asses of themselves and getting kicked out of one establishment after another because of their antics. There have been at least two groups here in this city where that happened and I have not seen hide nor hair of either of those groups since. I think they have disbanded or either integrated with the rave club in the area.

I went to a fetish club in the early 90's (I want to say 94 or 95) and it was that way then...first and last time I ever went...the only highlight of the evening was that I got an autographed copy of Screw the Roses...because Phil and Molly were there and put on a caning demo.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- - 11/12/2013 1:16:44 PM

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lilcracker - what didn't you like about it?

(in reply to lilcracker)

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