RE: Taking The Sex Out of D/s

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RE: Taking The Sex Out of D/s - 12/4/2013 11:29:20 PM

ClassAct2006

Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
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Same here. Sex is in the head. The different person could do the same physical act to me and if I felt submissive to the first person it would be a very sexy experience even if I were only kneeling at his feet in a book shop on a shopping trip or a mere touch, whereas with soeone else I was not into and did not feel submissive to it would not be sexy at all.

However if someone never aroused me then I don't want a relationship which is not a sexual relationship. Of course if I'm not in the mood and he is that's fine but sex is at the heart of it for me. Obeying is sexy. Compliance is sexy etc etc.. Indeed sexiest of all is the denial of sex/orgasm in the sub as long as it's not for so many days she loses her sex drive. The denial to her can be much sexiest than very vigorous sexual intercourse of course although vanilla men would never understand that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

What you fail to understand is your limited experience only gives you a narrow perspective. Is BSDM is sex... For some it is and some it isn't. I have been doing SM for a lot of years with a lot of different people and have found the pleasures people gain from SM can and does vary. I have flogged, caned and paddled my one girl multiple times where she has been orgasmic. Other times not so much. Interesting it's more of where her head is at than what I do. For myself it has never been a sexual experience even when the one I play is orgasming. I seldom have sex after SM but one of my girls wants it afterwards more times than not. For the most part I find sex clouds the pleasure I enjoy from SM experience. Though sometimes it adds to it.

What I am saying is your arrogance to claim others are doing it wrong is absolutely stupid and narrow minded.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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RE: Taking The Sex Out of D/s - 12/5/2013 5:01:07 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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KOM and FTP - I don't think you are arguing the same point. FTP is talking about non-sexual enjoyment of S&M and KOM seems to be agreeing that the fun is often non-sexual while disagreeing with FTP (which I left out because it is you-centric.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess

For those of us here who are truly experienced in S&M - it is a separate and unique experience from sex. And those of you who claim to be into S&M and don't agree with that previous statement - all I can say is that you must not be doing it right if the only "fun" from S&M is the sex afterwards. I enjoy the endorphin rush from S&M - and that is something that has absolutely ZERO to do with sex.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I have been doing SM for a lot of years with a lot of different people and have found the pleasures people gain from SM can and does vary. I have flogged, caned and paddled my one girl multiple times where she has been orgasmic. Other times not so much. Interesting it's more of where her head is at than what I do. For myself it has never been a sexual experience even when the one I play is orgasming. I seldom have sex after SM but one of my girls wants it afterwards more times than not. For the most part I find sex clouds the pleasure I enjoy from SM experience. Though sometimes it adds to it.

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Post #: 42

RE: Taking The Sex Out of D/s - 12/7/2013 5:54:32 PM

lilBlackbird44

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/16/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrictlySussex

Taking The Sex Out of D/s
...

BDSM is not sex.

This was a very interesting post to read! Honestly though, I think it has a lot of merit. When I engage in bdsm with anyone, sex is often an afterthought. I've been perfectly fine with just not having it at all, because for me, its more than just sex. Its an intimate experience in which you can test yourself and your limits, where you can relinquish control and finally just let go, where you can play with another person and get in their head, any number of things. I love sex, being submissive, and combining the two. But I don't necessarily think that they HAVE to be combined. Although sex can get a bit dull without it!

Well put, StrictlySussex.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

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RE: Taking The Sex Out of D/s - 12/8/2013 1:25:29 AM

FrostedFlake

Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
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BDSM - SEX! = the last thing to happen before I knock your dumb ass out.

Your may feel differently, and that is perfectly fine. Don't bother telling me how I feel about it. How would you know?

< Message edited by FrostedFlake -- 12/8/2013 1:27:31 AM >

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RE: Taking The Sex Out of D/s - 12/14/2013 6:14:02 AM

JeffBC

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Joined: 2/12/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Maybe just maybe one should take the time to appreciate the unique perspective of a person. Understanding that perspective one can actually make a better judgement on the compatibility of each other to a possible relationship if at all.

And this is why I love your posts KoM. So what are you trying to suggest, people are different one from another? Mind-boggling.

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Post #: 45