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Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 8:07:28 PM   
piggysqueals


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/12/2013
From: New Old Guard Lifestyle
Status: offline 		First a little bit of background, for a very long, long time the only world I ever knew was the one of the most intensive BD/SM Lifestyles, which I later learned to identify as "New Old Guard" which for those who do not know what that means, is simply nothing like what we commonly call BD/SM today. In that world you earn everything or you don't get it, a slave is just that no safe words, no rules, no freedom, no concern as not even the rules of how to treat a human being apply, because as a slave you are below that level of care and concern of a human being. In that world life is not easy, and getting things like the leather that you wear is a very big deal, because its not just given as gifts but are actually things you earn and that mean something. If you want to be a Dominant in that world, only males in Old Guard, and in New Old Guard woman could become Dominants but the rules of first you have to be a slave and work and earn your way up still applied. This world existed before BD/SM became more mainstream and common and the rules changed so much.

So when I speak of the Lifestyle, I am not thinking of what I commonly see today, and certainly not what is mainstream BD/SM, but a world that is much different, very much more demanding and in which the rules to it aren't what people typically expect. For years and years I lived in this world, in fact it was the only world I ever knew for a very long time, and then I got more and more into other 24/7 types of the Lifestyle(s) until I really finally left the Lifestyle as an Alpha slave who had their collar cut off their neck by their Owner for simply saying "No" one time over a very serious issue. For daring to say those two letters to my Owner, I was placed upon my knees right then, right there and my collar was cut right off my neck, the door only a couple of feet away from me was opened and I was simply told "Get OUT NOW!!!!". I left with exact what I had on me, nothing more, nothing less and the world in which I knew was suddenly no longer, but a new world awaited me...

It was nothing short of challenging for me, while my Owner had taken me into more of the main stream public BD/SM Lifestyle types of parties, munches and events it wasn't like the world I was accustomed to after years of being in the Lifestyle as a slave, and I did not have the skills needed to survive in the everyday world, nor did I know the rules of society to do it either. I had a lot of work ahead of me, and thanks to some great people who were my friends in the less common aspects of the Lifestyle I spent the next few years learning the traits and things which would help me to be more independent without an Owner to give me permission to do things, or to tell me what to do when and where... Finally the time came in which I learned enough that the time came for me to completely stand on me own and to do so as a "normal" person/human being...

It has been really hard for me up to this point, the world of society is not like the world I am still so used to, I do not feel like I fit in still in the world of society because I never before grew up in that world, so I don't have something to fall back on for reference. I got rid of everything related to the Lifestyle throughout my Dungeon/Playroom and so much more, and cut all contacts and things with those in the Lifestyle to try to stand completely on my own and make a new life for myself. One that is different, but even after several years still outside of the Lifestyle now I am still struggling and having issues with how to make the adjustments to the world of society. I've tried seeing Professionals for help, first they think I'm crazy or not being 100% honest because they can't imagine this world, so I bring them things to prove the facts and show them proof I'm not crazy. Then either I scare them so bad with how real the world I come from is that they claim "I'm not qualified to help you" and thus boot you right out the door". Well I'm sick of it, I've run out of options and the only thing left for me is to ask people in the Lifestyle...

So here it is simply, I am trying to learn how to live a normal life without the fetish world, without always feeling like I don't belong in the world of society, and feeling so lost outside of realms of BD/SM. Even when I tried to try to just be involved in the common BD/SM world which is more general and public I found I didn't fit in very well, because I am the one of the few people who know a very different type of a BD/SM world. The rare few who I have met that come more from this much more intense Lifestyle are Master's/Mistress's and thus teachers of those in the more commonly public BD/SM Lifestyle and only left that world because when they moved they couldn't find people as sincerely intense as the one they are used to, so they remain in contact with those from where they came from.

I am in essence looking for information or people that can help me understand some of these unique challenges that I face, and can help point me in the direction of hopefully some answers. I want to learn how to cope more with being the world of society, and make this adjustment better. So I am just asking for general types of answers to make this transition into the world of society easier if such answers are really out there. I'm not looking for anyone to Dom me, or walk this road for me, I just want to look for anything that might help me and move on with my life that is less affected by the intensive world of BD/SM I am used to. So there it is, I do not know what questions to properly ask, because I am looking for the answers to how to be more normal and if I knew how to live more comfortably without the things I am so accustomed to I wouldn't need to go out there and ask for help.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 8:18:09 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		There are Kink Aware therapists.

Since none seem to be listed in your state have you thought about looking for one that is GLBT friendly?
They tend to be more open to alternative lifestyles.


_____________________________

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(in reply to piggysqueals)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 8:28:23 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Your experience in the Old Guard is vastly different from my experience with them prior to Stonewall.
Regardless of that, if you cannot make friends and adapt to the culture around you, I would suggest therapy.

Many people insist on a kink friendly therapist. My experience is that anywhere near a major city, that is not necessary. That you can ask during a phone interview is they have any experience or knowledge of alternative lifestyles and find one fairly easily.

Almost anywhere in Florida is within two hours of a major city, so I don't think you'll have that much trouble finding one.

Unfortunately you want the world to adapt to you, to change to fit your needs. And that's never going to happen.
Many people here have come out of long term M/s relationships and learned to take back their power and enjoy something different in their next relationship instead of insisting that every M they meet do things exactly the way their ex did.

In other words, instead of topping all the dominants you meet by dictating to them how a relationship with you must go, they allow the new dominant to make rules that work for him or her, instead of the things that worked for your ex.

Quite honestly, insisting that they follow this script you've written guarantees that you won't get into a new relationship because there's nothing in it for the dominant. You want someone to service top you, find a pro.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 8:42:30 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		I'm having a difficult time understanding what is said here and then what is said on your profile. They don't seem to jive.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 9:35:58 PM   
piggysqueals


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/12/2013
From: New Old Guard Lifestyle
Status: offline 		Perhaps I wasn't clear enough...

I went from a 24/7 Lifestyle of every decision made for me, needing permission for everything right down to the smallest things, sleeping in bondage, wearing my collar 24/7 and never being more than 3-feet away from my Owner at any given time... to suddenly being thrust into the world not knowing how to do the most basic of things people take for granted everyday from paying bills, having a job, waking to an alarm clock, buying food, deciding what to cook, and planning things out... I know it all seems to simple to most people, but when you've never ever lived outside of such an intensively controlled lifestyle it is very hard to learn to cope with suddenly not having all those rules and restrictions.

Going out into the world and not looking someone in the eyes is seen as disrespectful, yet in the Lifestyle I would be seriously disrespectful if I did it. The rules between the two worlds are different, I am used to if I am ask a question I speak openly, honestly and be forthcoming, in society people are not exactly any of those things to that kind of a degree. Having got my freedom, I could have used all my knowledge and skills to pursue a Lifestyle of being a Dominant because I have the skill trades and know how to do everything as a Dom having been an Alpha slave, and after learning how to survive outside of the world of being a slave I now have the skills to do it. But it does not leave me feeling "complete" not being restrained to sleep, or not doing some other things which I did for many years.

So lets get this straight, I'm trying to learn to live a "normal" life in society, how is my profile contradictory to that? Because I want to understand how to grow beyond living in the Lifestyle, which I feel would be best learned by a Dominant, since submissive's typically are looking for someone to take more power and control away from them, and Dominants are looking more for ways to improve their power and control? I am not looking or seeking for someone to control me, if I wanted that I wouldn't have left the Lifestyle, I would have just gone and searched out a Dominatrix who would appreciate all that I am and capable of and gone on with my life. I choose to try something different, something new like being a normal person, and I am trying to learn how to live more comfortably without the things of the Lifestyle that I only knew for so many years. Most people come from the world of society and then choose to enter into the Lifestyle, I came from the Lifestyle and am trying to go into the world.

(in reply to piggysqueals)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 10:41:54 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm lost. Your profile says you're half of a couple, and your post here says you're single.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to piggysqueals)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 10:44:43 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		Try googling the picture and name. lol

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 10:52:08 PM   
piggysqueals


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/12/2013
From: New Old Guard Lifestyle
Status: offline 		I am in a relationship, my wife is not into the Lifestyle hence me not being in the Lifestyle anymore and not doing the things I used to do that I would have done in the Lifestyle such as sleeping in bondage, etc... I went from being a slave to suppose to be "normal" and half the time I don't know what to do...

People around me speak of their ex-girlfriends and what a pain they were... I stand there with nothing to say, not like I'm going to speak ill of my former Mistress's and Owner's. Others speak about sports and activities and ask what I did growing up... I have nothing to say, because I don't speak about the Lifestyle. I am trying to live a normal life, but most times can't say anything about my past. When it comes to being a "normal husband" I never know what to say or how to act, I open the doors for my wife, I think of how to please her and go above to do things for her, and yet she doesn't understand certain things about me because for a long time she didn't even know about my past so I was just uniquely different for whatever reasoning. She is trying to understand why I am different now based off my past, and I'm trying to be more normal to be a better husband to her. Make sense?

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 10:58:27 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		Does she know that you have multiple profiles on some very kinky sites.. one so bad my ie crashed? lol And your location again... is?

(in reply to piggysqueals)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 11:13:32 PM   
piggysqueals


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/12/2013
From: New Old Guard Lifestyle
Status: offline 		Oh yeah I'm sure I have some very kinky profiles still out there somewhere, I can only imagine which one(s) you've managed to find of mine from before I left the Lifestyle, that I can't get back into now I don't think. I was nothing short of a prize for someone to play with back then. I had my own Dungeon and Playroom filled full of insertable toys (more than all the bookstores I've ever been to in person to date), I had a ton of BD/SM gear, furniture, devices, lots and lots medical stuff, rubber, leather... There was very few fetishes I didn't have the equipment for and all inside my house, right down to things even being set up and geared for suspension bondage. It took me literally months to get rid of everything because I seriously had so much of everything, anyone who knew me could tell you this wasn't even a joke!

Overnight my PC was wiped of all the Favorites and all the Passwords to places, email accounts and everything else... took me between 3-6 months to sterilize my life before I had found everything I think. But yeah if you found my stuff out there and it wouldn't surprise me if you did given I am using the same profile photo now I did then, it wouldn't surprise me I crashed your IE LMAO with the level of kink I was into. To answer your question "does my wife know" she is aware now to an increasing amount of things about my former life and lifestyle, I have worked past the part of hiding my past and my past life from her finally, so she has 100% access to this account hence the whole "couples" thing and I'm sure she's going to learn a few things about me as I come across some of the people in the Lifestyle who would know who I am and just how kinky and freaky I was, because I set a new level to what people thought was kinky and freaky.

(in reply to Rawni)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 11:17:03 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		Bull shit. Updated within hours ago and days ago.

Who are you trying to fool? What, did you learn game playing in the oldest guard of them all? You act like you are part of an elite group and no one could understand... and you play games like this.

I tend to stay out of shitty things and don't go after people, but someone that is trying to play some game and is clearly and can be proven not to be truthful... well... lets just say I have a kink for that kind of thing. Comes from my background in investigations.

(in reply to piggysqueals)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/15/2013 11:20:50 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: piggysqueals

Oh yeah I'm sure I have some very kinky profiles still out there somewhere, I can only imagine which one(s) you've managed to find of mine from before I left the Lifestyle, that I can't get back into now I don't think. I was nothing short of a prize for someone to play with back then. I had my own Dungeon and Playroom filled full of insertable toys (more than all the bookstores I've ever been to in person to date), I had a ton of BD/SM gear, furniture, devices, lots and lots medical stuff, rubber, leather... There was very few fetishes I didn't have the equipment for and all inside my house, right down to things even being set up and geared for suspension bondage. It took me literally months to get rid of everything because I seriously had so much of everything, anyone who knew me could tell you this wasn't even a joke!

Overnight my PC was wiped of all the Favorites and all the Passwords to places, email accounts and everything else... took me between 3-6 months to sterilize my life before I had found everything I think. But yeah if you found my stuff out there and it wouldn't surprise me if you did given I am using the same profile photo now I did then, it wouldn't surprise me I crashed your IE LMAO with the level of kink I was into. To answer your question "does my wife know" she is aware now to an increasing amount of things about my former life and lifestyle, I have worked past the part of hiding my past and my past life from her finally, so she has 100% access to this account hence the whole "couples" thing and I'm sure she's going to learn a few things about me as I come across some of the people in the Lifestyle who would know who I am and just how kinky and freaky I was, because I set a new level to what people thought was kinky and freaky.



Just in case you try to edit.

(in reply to piggysqueals)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/16/2013 1:43:42 AM   
piggysqueals


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/12/2013
From: New Old Guard Lifestyle
Status: offline 		I am not editing nothing... and if you want go look back on Yahoo among other sites, you will see I'm been around for years, and then I left... no BS there.

New Old Guard isn't BS either, in that type of BD/SM Lifestyle the rules are different than the crap you see on other places, where someone gets to wake up on day and decide "oh I'm going to be a Dom, and make money abusing people"... You claim to do your research well did you do any on Old Guard and how it came about after WWI and WWII???? Or how and why it was based as sadistic as it was??? New Old Guard came about later, as in Old Guard woman can only be slaves, there are no subs, and later at whatever point New Old Guard came about where women were Dominants as well. Ask anyone that was into the BDSM Lifestyle before it became the thing to be in and it went publically, and you'll see the rules back then were different, and still are different for those who practice and or live that type of Lifestyle. There are other groups of that type out there as well, I know there is, but it is the one I know and the one I was in, and if you do any real digging I'm sure you can find the information as to what makes it different form typical BD/SM out there today. I will even see if I can find an informative link for you to show you as such.

Oh here you go: http://darkangel.hubpages.com/hub/Old-Guard-Protocols

Here is some excerpts of it for you to show my points being valid:

- There core believe was that new comers had to earn there leathers thus there place in the community. They had individual apprenticeship where the apprentice earned pieces of leather when the top or Master thought he was ready. This led to the practice of earning your collar. First the sub might get a collar of consideration, then a training collar and after months or even years might earn his collar.

- Old Guard ... has been a long standing debate stating that old guard was all about form and protocols

- Old guard believed in new members learning the rules and earning there place in the community. They had to practice strict protocol into how they dressed and spoke to members that were higher ranking then them. They had high principles and values and if you didn’t meet them you weren’t welcome to the group. Old guard had a rule seniority was proven through experience. You had to earn your right to be called Master and work you way up that is largely ignored today when so many call themselves Master’s with no experience at all.

- Most old guard had a dress code. The dress code they followed showed experience without the need for words. There was significance to each piece of leather they earned and any member looking at someone could tell where they were in experience by what they had on. Social interaction was usually pretty formal. Those in senior positions usually took lead in conversations and they weren’t to be interrupted. Submissives weren’t supposed to make eye contact unless told to. They were expected to walk a half step behind there Dominants. There was certain ways they served there Dominants which varied with individual clubs and people. Some had to always serve on there knees while others could serve standing upright but had to carry and hand things a certain way.

- Those old guard values and principles -- good manners, being courteous, not lying, honor, honesty, reliability, integrity, generosity, trustworthiness, responsibility, respect for others, common sense, a sense of humor, a willingness to help others, open and honest communication, trust or respect -- is what this lifestyle should be all about.

- The leather mans handbook published in 1972 was the first published work that could be considered old guard.

- Even the hanky code so many say is old guard.

- The term Old Guard represents a set a standards’. A Code of Conduct if you will that a select few in the Leather Community chose to live by.

- Some are now not differentiation between old guard and new but instead calling Vanguard. Vanguard is the first or foremost position marching into battle, also the first or foremost position leading a trend or those occupying a top position.

Oh and note at the end of that article they give links to where they got their information to back up the things stated about Old Guard, so feel free to do some worthwhile reading.

So as you can clearly see by these point and reading not only this one article but also go look up more for yourself, that Old Guard, New Old Guard, etc... is not the typical BD/SM you find all over the internet today, the rules were different, people had pride in what they wore and how they wore it. As I stated above that you can look back at "unedited" I earned my leathers and I was proud to earn the right to be where I am. I have almost every piece of my leathers to this day still, from my 1st slave bracelet with my name raised off from the ring which was cast in metal that way, to my last collar, the ones in between are gone. I have every piece of my gauntlets, chaps, jackets, and on down the line it goes, I rightfully earned every piece of my leathers and when I wore them I did so with great pride and respect because of what it took to earn each piece.

So while you sit here and call me many things across these forums and you have you low opinions of me for whatever reasoning you chose, I have been respectful of you, and I can back up my claims with facts can you? I can go hunt down my former profiles on Bondage.com, Yahoo, among others and there are people around here who know who I am, whether they are active or not right now I do not know, for as I said I have been out of the Lifestyle now for a few years. So I am not troll, a liar or any BS like that, anyone who knows who I am will be able to tell you I really had everything I claim to have had, and some will be able to tell you I really threw it all away because people would have given a lot to have got what I had amassed over the years, but I did what I did so it would never be used improperly by another. So seriously go do your own research before you go claiming to know things which you honestly don't know anything about, my profile pic here now I have used for a long time going back to the last couple of years I was in the Lifestyle so I should be able to be found easily enough.


< Message edited by piggysqueals -- 12/16/2013 1:46:44 AM >

(in reply to Rawni)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/16/2013 2:00:08 AM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		ROFL... dude. I am saying that it was bull shit about your not having been on those sites and using them for a long while as they were updated just hours ago. Maybe 22 hours now. That can be googled, with your picture and your name. I saw what I saw and only said bull shit when you said you weren't active on those places.

Now as for old guard, I know a bit more than you think I do and I am not saying that is a lie. I am saying you act as if it makes you so special that few could understand. As if it makes you better to be old guard and further proof that you disrespect some of the very people you are addressing all over the forums, is in your last post. I have never in my life disrespected anyone old guard because they were old guard, but a couple I haven't given a shit about who or what they were, they were ass holes. You might be surprised what some of us know and do and have done. Don't assume you are piggy of the top of the hill and special somehow.

Your wife may not even know that she is mentioned in your profile. You give two places of where you live and that was on the one profile that was updated twenty hours ago, when I saw it earlier. You come to the dominant's in Mistress... you ask about cuffs for suspension and say you just want to learn to live a normal life and aren't in the lifestyle and yet show that you are very much interested in it and with a wife that is just now learning of your past... it is kind of doubtful, she is going to jump right in to something that huge. lol One minute you say you just want to talk about things you mention in this thread and then you say you want to talk about dominant views of things, posing as a couple, when really, piggy, it is just you.

Do not try to distract from what is really being said here by posting a huge distraction on old/new or anything guard to distract from the fact that you appear to be less than honest and full of how wonderful you are in knowledge, at getting dominant women and your experiences in old guard. You will be surprised at how many will know... and I do have to wonder where honor comes into this.

Anyone can do what I did in googling your picture and name. Anyone can see when you last updated your profiles. So this bit about learning a new way of normal and not being in the lifestyle and not being on those sites recently... just looks like fairy dust blowin in the wind.

(in reply to piggysqueals)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/16/2013 2:17:28 AM   
piggysqueals


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/12/2013
From: New Old Guard Lifestyle
Status: offline 		BTW "Rawni"

Thank You for reminding me why I left the Lifestyle, because there are so many people out there who can say anything they want, attach a title to their name, think they are better than others, and best of all don't have to back a bit of it up with facts. Now understand I'm not saying this applies to you, but obviously you think it applies to me, and that is why I felt it important enough to do a quick search to back up what I have stated and said all along about what make the world of BD/SM different than the world of BD/SM you obviously are so much more commonly used to. In the more serious world of BD/SM players, fakes and people who don't have a clue aren't welcomed into those more secretive groups, I mean their are Professionals there Dr's, Lawyers, and people of power in politics, and they are not putting their lives and their trust into some want to be Dominant or submissive/slave who can cause them a problem later, hence they it is secretive because they aim to keep those people out of it unlike website like these that let anyone and everyone in. Because their are seriously people in that "world" as it were, there is also real equipment, and real precautions are taken to avoid issues that could come back to haunt those in attendance of those parties.

I loved Old Guard and things along those lines because of the protocols, the way the rules were set up, and the clear cut ways things were plain and simple. A Master/Mistress was in 100% control, and a slave had no limits, no rights, and were nothing but a piece of meat, but one thing was 100% for sure it was established there wasn't any questions about how things worked, or if someone who claimed to know something really did or did not know something they claimed to. So yeah you are right about something you said "it was an elite group" and you are also right "I don't expect a lot of others to understand it who haven't been involved in that kind of a group before". I mean how could you possibly began to understand what it means to have no limits, no rights, no safeword and endure something to get to a certain select goal to earn the right to get a piece of leather that tells everyone the hardships you went through to get it. Your profile says your a a Dominant, if you want a new leather dress or leather gloves you go out and buy it, you don't have to endure or go through anything to earn it so it won't mean to you want mine means to me or another who had to endure things to earn ours so that when we put it on we take pride in cleaning it daily, in making sure its worn with honor and pride because people are going to see it and know something special about us from it.

That is why I chose not to continue on in this common BD/SM world, and chose to pursue a vanilla lifestyle, and why I am having the issues I'm facing, because I do not pretend to be into BD/SM, nor did pretend anything else n my life, the rules were different, the people were different. I came right out and admitted "my collar was cut off my neck and I was tossed out by my Owner, because I said the word 'NO' to them". What sub/slave do you know who would endure that for saying that word? Do you have any idea of how much it means to have a collar around your neck, and how far a slave would go for their collar? Do you think it is easy to publically admit mine was cut off my neck? It was and remains to this day to be the worst punishment any slave could get, its humiliating and not the good kind either. I spent 4-5 years rightfully earning that collar and I lost it in the time it took to say "NO"! So I don't expect you to understand, but don't sit there and try to say the world of Old Guard is the same as the rest of what is more commonly found in public BD/SM lifestyles, because they are two entirely separate worlds if you take the time to look into it at all you'd see that, even if you don't understand that.

(in reply to piggysqueals)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/16/2013 2:34:20 AM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		Whatever. You fail to address where you have misrepresented what you are doing here in various ways and how you continue to try to come out looking ever so sweet, when you are not being fully honest. I do have screen shots of when you joined, when you last updated, etc. and you have said on this very thread that you left the lifestyle and were not using those sites. I don't give a shit if you use them. I just think that for someone looking for a little help and understanding, to twist the truth... isn't doing you any favors.

Most of us tend to want to deal with others in honesty.

I am truly sorry you were hurt... and sorry that you feel you cannot live normally because of your past, but the bottom line is, until you start dealing with things honestly and presenting yourself honestly, without disrespecting others that aren't old guard and are into this new lessor bdsm... some just won't take you seriously.

May you heal and grow and the powers that be bless your wife...

(in reply to piggysqueals)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/16/2013 2:36:26 AM   
piggysqueals


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/12/2013
From: New Old Guard Lifestyle
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

ROFL... dude. I am saying that it was bull shit about your not having been on those sites and using them for a long while as they were updated just hours ago. Maybe 22 hours now. That can be googled, with your picture and your name. I saw what I saw and only said bull shit when you said you weren't active on those places.

Now as for old guard, I know a bit more than you think I do and I am not saying that is a lie. I am saying you act as if it makes you so special that few could understand. As if it makes you better to be old guard and further proof that you disrespect some of the very people you are addressing all over the forums, is in your last post. I have never in my life disrespected anyone old guard because they were old guard, but a couple I haven't given a shit about who or what they were, they were ass holes. You might be surprised what some of us know and do and have done. Don't assume you are piggy of the top of the hill and special somehow.

Your wife may not even know that she is mentioned in your profile. You give two places of where you live and that was on the one profile that was updated twenty hours ago, when I saw it earlier. You come to the dominant's in Mistress... you ask about cuffs for suspension and say you just want to learn to live a normal life and aren't in the lifestyle and yet show that you are very much interested in it and with a wife that is just now learning of your past... it is kind of doubtful, she is going to jump right in to something that huge. lol One minute you say you just want to talk about things you mention in this thread and then you say you want to talk about dominant views of things, posing as a couple, when really, piggy, it is just you.

Do not try to distract from what is really being said here by posting a huge distraction on old/new or anything guard to distract from the fact that you appear to be less than honest and full of how wonderful you are in knowledge, at getting dominant women and your experiences in old guard. You will be surprised at how many will know... and I do have to wonder where honor comes into this.

Anyone can do what I did in googling your picture and name. Anyone can see when you last updated your profiles. So this bit about learning a new way of normal and not being in the lifestyle and not being on those sites recently... just looks like fairy dust blowin in the wind.




For the record, I just edited my profile tonight based off from things to reflect certain things more clearly, my wife has been learning over the past year about my past as it comes up, she knows I was a slave now, she is more recently learning what that means in the deeper aspects. Its one thing to say "I'm a slave or I'm a Dom" but what does that really mean under it all. Yes my wife is really around and yes she really does have 100% access to this profile, and yes I figure for her to read this stuff some time after work tomorrow. As far as one of my profiles being updated within the past 20-hours or so... you honestly have me confused... I have one active profile that I am aware of "this one here"... I have not been anywhere else, and I have not to gone back into anything other than my old Yahoo Account to get an address to get for this account. So if you have information as to a former profile of mine or another profile of mine being active, please by all means send me the information, link, whatever to it in a message. Because honestly I am not aware of any, they shouldn't be any, and if their is I would like to address this matter myself swifty.

As far as wanting suspension cuffs, you are absolutely right I have been 100% going out of mind without bondage, I went from sleeping in it, to going without it for so long now and fighting it to such a point that I feel like I'm going to explode or die if I don't do something soon. So yes I have recently made some purchases for bondage gear and yes I do plan to suspend myself from my canopy bed, in total sensory deprivation, and yes I'm been back looking seriously into self-bondage websites and reviewing everything for safety sake. I am so lost, so confused, I've tried to leave this BD/SM world, and yet I am freaking out without the things I've tried so hard to leave behind. I didn't come back to this world to be proud that I can not hack it in the world of society, and admit failure on my part, that is cutting me deep enough and anyone who figures out who I am around here is going to have a great time seeing I couldn't hack it like they thought I couldn't thus I do not have any other profile out there and want to squash anything that comes up as being me, because I do not need to become a bigger target to be found. I just want to fly under the radar, get some answers and try to get on with a normal life somehow...

I do not know if you can understand the defeat I feel like I'm up against here, but I just want to get these inner aspects of me figured out, do some serious bondage safely, meet the need so I can be happy again and figure out how to go on with my life without needing to keep coming back to being this... I just want to be normal, I just want a normal life, and find a way to be more than I was...

< Message edited by piggysqueals -- 12/16/2013 2:39:49 AM >

(in reply to Rawni)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/16/2013 2:44:22 AM   
MissKittyDeVine


Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline 		Double negative ... so you have edited posts?

(The Grammar Domme speaks ...)

quote:

ORIGINAL: piggysqueals

I am not editing nothing...




_____________________________

Sanity is overrated. Live la vida loca

(in reply to piggysqueals)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/16/2013 2:58:37 AM   
piggysqueals


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/12/2013
From: New Old Guard Lifestyle
Status: offline 		I edited "mine" to "mind" when I said "I'm going out of my mine without bondage" on one post yep! Oh yep I also added in and corrected grammar on some other one's too... I haven't deleted anything stated, edited only to make more complete or correctly worded sentence structures. Thank you for catching that and pointing that out for me. I should have been more careful in stating "I will not delete what I have stated and said, but will if my grammar is to terribly bad and I misused a word, go back and correct it for easier reading and understanding.

PS- This is exactly why I came to the Mistress Forums versus any other place, it has always seem no one can quite catch a word out of place or misused better than a Dominant Woman, and be quick about the correction and clarification of something wrongly worded or put. I would rather be correctly worded and stated, versus getting bad advice because I was misunderstood by the words I improperly chose.

< Message edited by piggysqueals -- 12/16/2013 3:05:51 AM >

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Life After The Lifestyle - 12/16/2013 4:07:32 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm going to preface this post so I'm very clear about one thing. I'm going to give you My word that I'm not intentionally trying to be an asshole. OP, I'm even going to give you the point of that there aren't a lot of leather folks on the boards these days. Yep. I'm even one of those chicks who couldn't have earned her leathers way, WAY back in the day because yes, I really am female, and even more so, <gasp> I'm straight.

With this being said, I don't tend to follow the path in believing about an Old Guard and a New Guard. Instead, I find it much more realistic to believe in a concept called the Generations of Leather because frankly, it makes a heck of a lot more sense to Me. (I'd be something of a hypocrite if I didn't, but that's besides the point.) The Generations of Leather theory says that, except for our very first roots, there will always be an Old Guard and a New Guard because there will be change as our society changes. The first major catalyst for this, (as I see it) was the AIDS crisis and it was really those who became the leather women who did so much for the sick and suffering. That was the force behind lesbian women being allowed to earn leather and even for all their efforts, there were those who balked at the idea, who became that generation's Old Guard and those who knew they had EARNED their right who became the New Guard.

While in lesser degrees of hardship, there have been other generations of leather. Straight men. Straight women. TNG. All of these are Generations of Leather and every decade or so. Time and time again, we do the same thing. There are those who will bemoan what will happen to our culture if we change as society changes and those who are willing to adapt with the world. There are some that will use their voice to the top of their lungs that if the 'new' generation happens, everything will be lost, and frankly, after a new generation roughly every decade or so, that hasn't happened yet. Some go underground. Some evolve. I don't know what the next generation will be, but I have learned these past some odds years that it is not accepting change that will be the death of the culture. Refusing to accept it will.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and say that I see BDSM in the same way that I do leather. I don't but that probably has something to do with My age and since I experience both, I know I interpret them in two different ways. Hey, I've even had My times of screwing this up in the past and I've had to change My thinking at a few points in the last fifteen years. Was it difficult at times? Yes.

However, right now, OP, you are doing the same thing you are busy accusing others of doing and trying to set yourself up on a pedestal while doing it. Good luck with that high fall because I think you might need it. From where I sit, those old definitions like bait and switch might be in play here and there might only be one person who is responsible for that.

If you can not move on, that responsibility is within yourself. While a kink friendly therapist would be ideal, I have no clue about these ramblings about how one doesn't know how to deal with society. The way it is spoken is that there was no coming of age in the non-authority based world, and frankly, unless you were harmed before you became an adult, coerced before the age of eighteen, there is a frame of reference there and if you haven't been able to find it by, what appears to be the recollection of YEARS, the failing is not lying with anyone else.

I would appreciate it greatly if anyone didn't attempt to come and piss on My leg and trying to tell Me it's rain. Not only did the moving on happen, somehow, the wife became a wife and lack of "function" wasn't in there, somewhere. Yes..... I know. Some who chose the s-type designations want to fall into self pity and a few other things I could mention right now. Don't come and wail to Me about what a leather person you are and, at the same time, you can't pick yourself up by your bootstraps and move on. That's some pretty thick bullshit right there.

Three months? Maybe. Years? Nope. Sorry. Can't hang with that if leather really flows through your veins.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to piggysqueals)
Profile   Post #: 20
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