RE: Why so rude? (Full Version)

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DeadlyReign -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:18:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

https://encyclopediadramatica.es/It_was_a_social_experiment


hmm...lab rat continues to run through the maze even after finding the cheese...interesting... perhaps further research is in order.?




freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:21:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign

Well obviously there are some who agree and some who disagree.

First off, sending someone an e-mail is not like sending spam. Spam is often created by a machine and asks for credit cards and personal information. Yes, I would delete that. Not something someone sent personally that involved wanting to get to know them.

Anything sent to someone against their wishes or completely unsolicited, is spam. Pure and simple.
It doesn't have to come from a machine (though why you think an email hasn't come from a machine...) and it doesn't have to ask for anything at all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign
Second, real world doesn't excuse not replying AFTER they read it.

And real world dictates that unless you have an open invitation to send any such emails, you are spamming and causing an unwanted intrusion into their lives.
That, in itself, is the highest form of rudeness.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign
I have a job that has me working from dawn til dusk like many other people, and then I come home to a ton of school work that I need to get done, but when I get the time to read a message, I reply IMMEDIATELY. If you have time to read, you have time to reply. period.

Nope. Sorry.
Some people like to see what asshat had the audacity to interrupt their lives with unwanted trivia and spam.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign
Third, If someone sends you a message who could even be all the way on the other side of the world, you can still tell them a reply of "no thanks. good luck though".

And has already been said by others... most polite refusals get you a tirade of abuse.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign
Fourth, this website was made to bring people who like S&M together and form relationships (be they sub and dom, plutonic friends, or romantic partners). Coming onto a site that is designed for that, claiming you want to meet people, tell them your interests, and then ignore when someone is trying to make any form of connection is ridiculous.

Not everyone on this site is here to meet others for hook-ups.
If you assume that, you're an asshat and assuming too much.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign
And fifth, the fact that so many of you want to claim I am having a "tantrum" for asking for a bit of common curtisey has been quite a let-down. I am mature enough to accept a reject or two, but I am irritated that our socitiety has developed such a rude streak that no one wants to reply to a simple friendly message

And don't you think your uninvited message in the first instance wasn't grossly rude in the first place??
So yes, you are having a tantrum for insisting on a reply to unsolicited messages eminating from you.




Apocalypso -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:21:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign

hmm...lab rat continues to run through the maze even after finding the cheese...interesting... perhaps further research is in order.?

Perhaps you should research the field of "how to write messages that get replies?".




RedMagic1 -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:24:02 PM)

Honestly, DeadlyReign, you're posting like an underager now. Please act as though you're at least 18.

Personally, I'm totally fine with "being trolled," because when people are sincere but confused, they really appreciate it when I take their questions at face value. And I mean that both online and in real life. So if it helps you to feel you got one over on me, feel free. It won't change how I treat the next person.




DeadlyReign -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:24:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso


Perhaps you should research the field of "how to write messages that get replies?".


Not really. The truth is, I am just bored with this site and others like it. They don't seem to be that fun anymore. Do whatever you want, but I'm already heading to my next fun subject. you were a good lab rat though. I salute you my furry tailed friend :)




Apocalypso -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:28:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Personally, I'm totally fine with "being trolled," because when people are sincere but confused, they really appreciate it when I take their questions at face value. And I mean that both online and in real life. So if it helps you to feel you got one over on me, feel free. It won't change how I treat the next person.

DeadlyReign didn't start this thread with the intention of trolling. He's just trying to save face.

(I do have to wonder how he came up with his username, which is actually really clever. Perhaps an adult thought of it for him).




Apocalypso -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:29:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign
I'M WINNING IN MY HEAD [:@]





LadyPact -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:36:00 PM)

I did find something kind of amusing........

Just as a rough sample, I looked back on the contributors to this thread. At some point or another, I've sent (or received) an email to/from at least 75% of the participants. I've replied back or had them reply at a very high percentage rate. Now, we could fall back on the lame excuse that the reason for this is that I have boobs. Maybe, just maybe, it's something a little more significant than that.




jlf1961 -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:38:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I did find something kind of amusing........

Just as a rough sample, I looked back on the contributors to this thread. At some point or another, I've sent (or received) an email to/from at least 75% of the participants. I've replied back or had them reply at a very high percentage rate. Now, we could fall back on the lame excuse that the reason for this is that I have boobs. Maybe, just maybe, it's something a little more significant than that.




Actually, I would bet that it is because you are intelligent, compassionate and threaten to hunt us down and beat us if we dont.[:D]




DeadlyReign -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:41:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Personally, I'm totally fine with "being trolled," because when people are sincere but confused, they really appreciate it when I take their questions at face value. And I mean that both online and in real life. So if it helps you to feel you got one over on me, feel free. It won't change how I treat the next person.

DeadlyReign didn't start this thread with the intention of trolling. He's just trying to save face.

(I do have to wonder how he came up with his username, which is actually really clever. Perhaps an adult thought of it for him).


Not really. I just was bored between my break and thought how fun this would be. I have no care who I send a message to and who replies. True, it does irk me that people don't reply to my messages, but oh well. I am not great at starting conversations anyway, and if they can't find an interest in me from just some small talk then whatevs.




iaminigo -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:51:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I did find something kind of amusing........

Just as a rough sample, I looked back on the contributors to this thread. At some point or another, I've sent (or received) an email to/from at least 75% of the participants. I've replied back or had them reply at a very high percentage rate. Now, we could fall back on the lame excuse that the reason for this is that I have boobs. Maybe, just maybe, it's something a little more significant than that.



Nope, definitely boobs.




DesFIP -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:55:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I did find something kind of amusing........

Just as a rough sample, I looked back on the contributors to this thread. At some point or another, I've sent (or received) an email to/from at least 75% of the participants. I've replied back or had them reply at a very high percentage rate. Now, we could fall back on the lame excuse that the reason for this is that I have boobs. Maybe, just maybe, it's something a little more significant than that.



That doesn't count. I imagine almost all the women here would reply to emails from any of the frequent male posters. We know you. We know that if you offered us a sale on extra candles, you wouldn't get unhinged if we refused.

We don't know that from guys doing cold calls.




ExiledTyrant -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 3:59:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

OP, I have something of a different method. I pulled this directly from My profile.

quote:

I'm not inclined to interact with those who are from the personals side of CM. If you are not local, not from the forums, or someone that I haven't already met, and you send Me email, please do not expect a pleasant response.


In My view, I consider this a disclaimer. I've stated quite clearly who I will not respond to if I receive their emails. If you (general you) have ignored that warning and sent Me a message anyway, why should the onus be on Me to repeat Myself? I included that in My profile to save My time and yours. Is it still My fault when people ignore it?



Ha! Love it... Brb.

Edited to add: I'm back.




Apocalypso -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 4:13:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
That doesn't count. I imagine almost all the women here would reply to emails from any of the frequent male posters. We know you. We know that if you offered us a sale on extra candles, you wouldn't get unhinged if we refused.

We don't know that from guys doing cold calls.


Even then, it's not actually that hard to get responses to messages.

The main mistake I can see a lot of guys making is that they'll send out a message to any female who's of a compatible BDSM orientation and (possibly) local. Which means they're not crafting messages properly.

It's far better to spend more time on them and only send them to women where their profiles suggest that there is a good chance that they have enough in common to be interested in talking to you.

Back when I was actively messaging, my response rate was around 60%, with the occasional case of women messaging me first on top of that. (From things RedMagic1 has said before, I suspect his experience may be similar). But, at most, I was sending out one mail a week to someone I hadn't talked to before. Naturally, you're going to get a lot more replies if you've already done some compatibility filtering before sending a message, as opposed to leaving the recipient to do it.




Arturas -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 4:13:59 PM)

quote:

...Perhaps its just me who's experienced this, but I think that the best thing to do when you're not interested in someone is just tell them right off....


I think this is the key OP statement, if not please forgive me.

Most mail I get I respond to because the message is from someone genuinely wanting to communicate in a polite fashion and even if it is someone offering something I am not wanting I do say "no".

Most mail star gets as a lovely female submissive is spam. It is usually wankers using cmail to send a one liner to her ordering her to do something or if she wants to see a picture of some small body part they pretend they have or it is a long winded invitation to submit to what is obviously the greatest Dom ever born, having obviously not read her profile indicating she is uninterested or not caring what it said even if they read it. Some are obviously one liner mass mailings sent out like a fishing net to see what fool answers.

So, females have good reason to dread opening their cmail queue and not to answer all but I can tell you when she operated her own account that she did reply to all polite messages from males and appreciated the complements she would get. I suspect many women here, there are quite a few lovely ones you might notice, get those good messages too.

But, she had to shut the account off as the cmails from wankers were making it unprofitable to keep it un-hidden.

Arturas




MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 4:40:26 PM)

OP: I have never failed to get a response, so I'm guessing it's you.

LadyPact: It's because you are honest, open, and..... Nope. it's definitely the boobs. :-)




MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 4:48:11 PM)

OP, perhaps you could post an example of the kind of message you send. Then we might be able to put forward some reasons why we ourselves would not respond to such a message. Just sayin'.




angelikaJ -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 5:03:51 PM)

Dear OP,

What you are failing to understand is that the women who get messaged often get 100 (or often more) messages a day.

So, granted you have a busy life but take the time to reply promptly to each message you get.
How many messages a day do you receive?
My guess is that the number is nowhere close to 100.

If the woman you are messaging has work + school + the obligations that come from life, how much time do you think she has to spend answering 100 messages a day?




petitespot -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 6:10:29 PM)

Setting the scene...Profile, when active, boldly says Not Looking.

Him: Hi. I like ur profile. I think we'd be a good match. (keep in mind, my profile has no info on it other than a Not Looking)
Me: Thank you, but I'm not looking.
Him: You fat fuck. I bet you're a man and a fake. Go fuck yourself.


That's why I don't answer emails here.




AAkasha -> RE: Why so rude? (12/18/2013 6:19:11 PM)


Sometimes if I do have the time when I sit down, I make it a point to respond to EVERY email sent to me in the last 2 or 3 days, mostly polite, "Thank you! But I don't feel like we are on the same page. Best of luck to you in your searches."

Inevitably, 25% write back and want to engage in a follow up of, "Can you tell me why not?" or start pushing. It just does not end until I stop responding, and they are really, really persistent with the "Why won't you give me a chance? What do you want to know about me? I will do anything. Just get to know me you will like me!"

About half of those will eventually get REALLY mean about it and say very obnoxious things when I indicate the back and forth has to stop.

Another 25% (of the original batch) write back with an insult of some kind.

If I only have an hour to spend reading and responding to email, I just have learned it's better to focus on the ones I am pursuing. There's too much of a chance of just being harassed or insulted otherwise, and who has time for that?

Akasha




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