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RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 6:59:41 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petitespot

Setting the scene...Profile, when active, boldly says Not Looking.

Him: Hi. I like ur profile. I think we'd be a good match. (keep in mind, my profile has no info on it other than a Not Looking)
Me: Thank you, but I'm not looking.
Him: You fat fuck. I bet you're a man and a fake. Go fuck yourself.


That's why I don't answer emails here.


Yup, the men here have taught us that it's much more pleasant to not respond. So, rather than taking issue with the women, perhaps you should take issue with the male flaming asshats that have taught us not to answer.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to petitespot)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 7:44:59 PM   
iaminigo


Posts: 77
Joined: 2/3/2013
Status: offline 		While I completely appreciate the problems created by flaming asshats, treating all people in a group based on the behavior of some in that group, is prejudice, is it not?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 8:19:56 PM   
petitespot


Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
Status: offline 		What most of the women experience here isn't just from some. It's from the majority of responses.
It gets old. It's easier to just delete.

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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Why so rude? - 12/19/2013 1:59:58 PM   
ThePrincessKali


Posts: 424
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline 		I read the first couple pages but didn't go through the whole thread. But my answer would be its a waste of time and a lot of the time when giving a polite response we are then threatened and told nasty things. I will give you an example. I was on last night and wasn't busy and I received a message from a guy who told me exactly what his fetishes were and what he wanted me to do. I clearly state in my profile what I'm looking for so I assume he didn't bother to read it. Since I wasn't busy I responded politely that as a Domme I don't take orders and that unfortunately I was not seeking the same thing, as my profile clearly stated. And I wished him the best of luck with his searches. He then responded that I was a whore, a prostitute, a loser who needed to get a job. Told me to fuck off and eat a dick and then blocked me. This is not an uncommon occurrence so for many of us it's easier to just not respond and avoid the backlash.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Why so rude? - 12/19/2013 4:17:04 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I haven't received the nastiness others have, but I have felt the aggravation of the recipients of my polite "No thanks" trying to change my mind

Before I put my profile on Hide, I did always respond to a well written letter...but my standards may be high.

DeadlyReign - if you send a sample first email, I'd be happy to critique it.


(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Why so rude? - 12/19/2013 4:50:04 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iaminigo
While I completely appreciate the problems created by flaming asshats, treating all people in a group based on the behavior of some in that group, is prejudice, is it not?

So... if the profile clearly states "not looking" and you still get pages and pages of cmail along the lines of "lets hook up. I've got a big cock that I know you'll enjoy".

Just by them sending you that style of cmail shows they haven't read the profile or are deliberately ignoring it.
They are being extremely rude by sending unwanted, unsolicited cmails.
It wouldn't be rude not to respond to it.
No response is the correct response for such rudeness in my books.

So, unless you've made a point of reading the profile, taken note of the content, and made a sensible cmail in response to a profile that actually invites contact, and that you fit the criteria detailed in the profile, there is no reason to assume that you won't get lumped in with all the other asshats taking a pot-shot and hoping for the best.

Like some others, I wondered why I wasn't getting as many replies as I'd hoped.
I spotted a post where they'd made a solo female profile and looked at the piles of crap they got every day.
So I did the same.... solo female sub/slave looking for... etc. Used a photo of a friend that I'd taken (with permission) just to see the response.
For the first 3 days we were swamped, literally swamped with pages and pages of cmails.
99% of them were obvious cut/paste jobbies and what was left was pure crap or insulting.
By the time I'd browsed through them all there were even more piled up waiting to be read.
And seriously, there wasn't a single nice cmail that warranted any consideration let alone a reply.

So yes, while it is a prejudiced, for 99.999% of them, getting ignored and deleted is the right thing to do.
We aren't talking 'some' of the group - it's more like only 1 in 1000 or more are actually worthy.

(in reply to iaminigo)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Why so rude? - 12/19/2013 4:52:28 PM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iaminigo

While I completely appreciate the problems created by flaming asshats, treating all people in a group based on the behavior of some in that group, is prejudice, is it not?


The trouble is how do you pick and choose? I'm with LP, I state too in my profile that I have a playmate, that I am only here for the forum, and that I am not interested in anything anyone else has got to offer. however, I still get mail if I show online on that side of things, and I will still get the insults if I do bother to answer with a no.

it is very rare that I would reply back to anyone that has contacted me for two reasons; either they didn't bother to read my profile, and so don't care who I am, what i'm looking for, what i'm about, or anything at all. So it tells me from the get go that it's all about them only. no thanks. or they have read my profile, but have chosen to show it, and thus me, no respect at all. why would I want someone like that?

the onus isn't on us to answer everyone. the onus is on the person doing the contacting to make sure that they read the profile, make sure they match what is being looked for, write a legible personal mail, and be polite. if they've done that and still get no response, then yeah that's a little harsh, but it's still a response.

needles

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Why so rude? - 12/19/2013 5:15:50 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iaminigo

While I completely appreciate the problems created by flaming asshats, treating all people in a group based on the behavior of some in that group, is prejudice, is it not?


Some.....If only people said "some"

(in reply to iaminigo)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Why so rude? - 12/19/2013 5:27:02 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iaminigo
While I completely appreciate the problems created by flaming asshats, treating all people in a group based on the behavior of some in that group, is prejudice, is it not?

Yeah. For giggles, I peaked.

Since I saw the specific mention regarding married women, do you treat all of them the same?

That's not to nail you. I happen to be a married woman, and at least here on the forums, our exchanges seem to be civil.

Still, it means you have a personal preference about who you would like to interact with. Do you not see it as the same thing?



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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to iaminigo)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Why so rude? - 12/19/2013 5:35:00 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
I'm with LP, I state too in my profile that I have a playmate, that I am only here for the forum, and that I am not interested in anything anyone else has got to offer. however, I still get mail if I show online on that side of things, and I will still get the insults if I do bother to answer with a no.


Same here.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Why so rude? - 12/19/2013 7:56:04 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineRanger

What's wrong with simply saying to yourself, "It's her or his loss" and moving on?

Good point.

I see a profile as a filter. I keep things positive, share enough to attract who I want and to not interest who I wouldn't want anyway. The goal isn't lots of responses -- it's a good fit.

The same with introductory emails. Say hello. Show you have some real interest, and why, and understand that initial interest may not be reciprocated, and viola, not a good fit. All that time and trouble saved!

Be you, be real, and be patient.

(in reply to FelineRanger)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Why so rude? - 12/20/2013 11:39:19 AM   
HipPoindexter


Posts: 188
Joined: 12/20/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign

Is it just me, or does it seem like that almost everyone on this site have a huge problem with a simple reply message? I mean, you send someone a message, they read it, and then they never reply. Perhaps I'm just a little old school, but that's just rude. I mean, if a person goes through all that time to introduce themselves and leave you a message saying they are interested in talking to you, the least you could do is a friendly rejection. Ignoring someone just seems more...childish.

Perhaps its just me who's experienced this, but I think that the best thing to do when you're not interested in someone is just tell them right off. If they are mature, they will accept it and move on. If they aren't...well....that's what the report button is for...just saying.


i'm loath to be critical of a total stranger, especially when i'm a total n00b here, but this attitude really smacks of a toxic mixture of desperation and entitlement. no one is under any obligation to reply to any messages they receive from a stranger online.

i've literally only been here a few hours, and there are already a couple of mails i know i'm never going to reply to from people who i'm sure are perfectly nice. some people are interesting to talk to and most are not and we all make quick judgments based on first impressions. nobody owes you their attention or their time.

sorry :(

(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Why so rude? - 12/20/2013 11:58:34 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign



Personally, I just wanted to see how many of you would dance on this topic, and like moths to a flame, you came a fluttering in. weather you are right or wrong means nothing because you gave me a better show than when I told that guy in the comic book store that Spider-Man was my favorite DC hero. Bravo everyone Bravo!!




Now no one will ever take you seriously on the message board. No one will know if you actually mean what you typed or whether you were having your version of fun on a boring day. The people you write to won't know that either. You might be just toying with them. So sad.

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(in reply to DeadlyReign)
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RE: Why so rude? - 12/20/2013 5:41:21 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign

Is it just me, or does it seem like that almost everyone on this site have a huge problem with a simple reply message? I mean, you send someone a message, they read it, and then they never reply. Perhaps I'm just a little old school, but that's just rude. I mean, if a person goes through all that time to introduce themselves and leave you a message saying they are interested in talking to you, the least you could do is a friendly rejection. Ignoring someone just seems more...childish.

Perhaps its just me who's experienced this, but I think that the best thing to do when you're not interested in someone is just tell them right off. If they are mature, they will accept it and move on. If they aren't...well....that's what the report button is for...just saying.


I looked.

It's just you.

I checked again....just to be certain.

It's you.

(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Why so rude? - 12/20/2013 5:46:14 PM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HipPoindexter
i've literally only been here a few hours, and there are already a couple of mails i know i'm never going to reply to from people who i'm sure are perfectly nice. some people are interesting to talk to and most are not and we all make quick judgments based on first impressions. nobody owes you their attention or their time.
It's notable that several guys on this thread have also said we don't always bother replying. And yet, it only ever seems to be women who get shit about not doing so.

Despite the fact that a lot of women are saying that they don't because they get swamped with cut and paste emails and because polite replies get them abuse or argument back.

Whereas the men who are saying it are pretty clear that our motivation is simply that we don't want to and so we don't. (Ok, HipPoindexter is politer about that then I am, but it's still roughly the same argument).

Interesting double standard there.

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to HipPoindexter)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Why so rude? - 12/20/2013 7:36:59 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It points up the fact that most guys who describe themselves as ''nice guys'' are actually assholes with entitlement issues.
Although I prefer the op saying 'I was just making a joke' to some of the more threatening responses we usually get.

No one is entitled to anything from a stranger. If you try to chat up the woman in the grocery line, you aren't entitled to a thank you when you give a lame compliment. When you send unwanted email, you aren't entitled to a response.

Stop thinking that the world revolves around you. That you are special and deserve things which other people do not. Because you aren't.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Apocalypso)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Why so rude? - 12/20/2013 8:04:39 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign

Wow you start one post out of boredom, and everyone jumps on the idea of creating their own opinions about it. I think I will end it here though because I need to focus on life. Marviouls waltz there apocalypso. You did a fine display of "douchebag with a chip on his shoulder" for that I give you the golden crap trophy. Personally, I just wanted to see how many of you would dance on this topic, and like moths to a flame, you came a fluttering in. weather you are right or wrong means nothing because you gave me a better show than when I told that guy in the comic book store that Spider-Man was my favorite DC hero. Bravo everyone Bravo!!

-Not a single fuck given: DeadlyReign Jenkins.



Ok, so you weren't just being a whiny brat throwing a tantrum because no one would reply to your messages on the other side then? Good thing you cleared that up for everyone. Because all we saw was you pissing and moaning ad nauseum about the "sew meen" people who wouldn't feed your sense of entitlement for attention. Kind of seems...I don't know...pot meets kettle to call someone else a douchebag, dontcha think? You may now return to giving not a fuck if you'd like.

(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Why so rude? - 12/21/2013 1:03:53 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iaminigo

While I completely appreciate the problems created by flaming asshats, treating all people in a group based on the behavior of some in that group, is prejudice, is it not?


In this case, it's self protection. Yes, it's true that not every teen wearing chains late at night is going to rob you. But when the last ten did just that, you get wary.

Beyond that, you have no legal right to a response from women you've written. I don't owe anyone an affirmative action fuck.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Why so rude? - 12/22/2013 8:53:10 PM   
AlluraVogue


Posts: 41
Joined: 6/6/2013
Status: offline 		Can't speak for anyone else...

In my case I won't reply if I'm not interested. The end.

Same goes for texts or phone calls. If it's a person I'm just not that into talking to, I just won't.

Maybe the people you're writing to are busy. Maybe they have inboxes full of random messages from strangers who don't even read their profiles entirely. Maybe she's just not that into you.....

(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Why so rude? - 12/23/2013 10:36:01 AM   
DsCouple23


Posts: 78
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlluraVogue

Can't speak for anyone else...

In my case I won't reply if I'm not interested. The end.

Same goes for texts or phone calls. If it's a person I'm just not that into talking to, I just won't.

Maybe the people you're writing to are busy. Maybe they have inboxes full of random messages from strangers who don't even read their profiles entirely. Maybe she's just not that into you.....


Such is the world..

Women do this in my opinion more than men.

I think it is because men are more aggressive and feel the need to respond to everything usually, where as women tend to just ignore and do the passive aggressive thing.

fyi i am never offended to a non-response, it simply means my message didn't float the boat, or they're not interest or they're a guy. lol

J

(in reply to AlluraVogue)
Profile   Post #: 80
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