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initial meeting - 7/4/2006 11:59:05 AM   
tbear4759


Posts: 55
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline 		hello all,
I am trying to get into the lifestyle as a Dom/Master.  I met a sub here on CM and we exchanged emails a couple times.  we chatted on yahoo 2 times and during our 2nd chat, she gave me her phone number.  I was surprised she did iy so soon, but really honored that I have gained her trust so quickly.  we have talked on the phone a couple times, and  last night when we were on yahoo I mentioned something about tieing he rup, blindfolding and gagging her and having my way with her.   I wasn't sure what she would say, and was surprised when she said it sounded like fun.  I asked if she was serious and she said yes.  we had to end our chat at that point.  t today when we got together at yahoo I asked her again if she  was serious and she said yes. we live about 2 hrs apart and we have set up a meeting in a town that is half way for both of us.  we will be meeting next sunday. we have to determine the time and location still. any advice on what I should expect, and/or do or not do?  I'm anticipating sex and bondage during this meeting because of what she said. 

_____________________________

"I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me."

"You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view."





Profile   Post #: 1
RE: initial meeting - 7/4/2006 12:09:50 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Don't expect sex or play and don't even expect her to show up.  Then if either happens you will be pleasantly surprised.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to tbear4759)
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RE: initial meeting - 7/4/2006 12:19:17 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		She wouldn't be here if she didn't think blindfolds and bondage sounded fun . It doesn't mean she's willing to do it on the first meet. It's not safe for anyone to put themselves in such a vulnerable position the first time they meet. In fact, it's one of the things new subs are strongly advised NOT to do. You better do some more talking.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: initial meeting - 7/4/2006 12:25:28 PM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		Even if she said yes and shows up, don't expect sex on the first meeting. Spend time getting to know her and then what each of you expect. This is probably just a meeting for coffee to see if there is any conection between the two of you. Play might be another day. However, be prepared if it turns out that everything goes perfect and you'll be playing that day. Get all the details worked out before you actually play, since this will be your first time with her. Is she slave, looking to be owned, sub, hard limits, soft limits, etc.
Also, if for whatever reason, it just doesn't work out, don't feel bad, it may not have anything to really do with you at all. She may have something specific she's looking, or unreal expectations. No matter how it turns out, just have fun!

~Big

______________________
ahhhh I see sounds

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: initial meeting - 7/4/2006 12:48:04 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		As a matter of fact, impress her and tell her YOU won't play on the first meet. Tell her you want her to feel safe, and to know that she can be herself, so you two can get to know each other better.

Introducing D/s too soon into the beginning process can interfere with judgement. The anticipation of play can cloud your impressions of each other. It can also be one of the reasons people don't show up. They get cold feet after they realize what they agreed to.

If she isn't glad to meet for coffee first, with no play allowed then, she isn't a safe partner and you can move on.

Good luck.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to bignipples2share)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: initial meeting - 7/4/2006 12:48:59 PM   
LokisBrat


Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline 		Expectations lead to disapointment.  Expect nothing and go with the general energy flow of the meeting.  If the meeting ends in heavy play, you will be, as Kyra so nicely put it, be pleasently suprised.  If the meeting ends with great communication and strengthening of trust, you still have gained.  I think it's best to have a pleasent experience with the desire to repeat, then a one time shot with negative experiences.

LOKI


_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to bignipples2share)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: initial meeting - 7/4/2006 12:54:36 PM   
PonyGroom


Posts: 150
Joined: 2/26/2006
Status: offline 		Sage advice that no matter her enthusiasm online, she may get cold feet on the day she is supposed to travel and never make it to the rendezvous.

Meet in a public place, a restaurant, not a parking lot, and have a cup of coffee and chat face to face. Leave her the chance to say no, and back off if that happens.

Playing the first time you meet is risky: often, it is also the last time you play, or even speak with someone. Things that move too fast crash. There are exceptions. Years of experience and dozens of meets like this have not improved my judgement on first time playing - everyone is different and unless I get to know someone well enough to know their fears, I won't know why they ran away if they did.

If you play, please remember the motto I learned from Tammad: "Leave them wanting more, not less." It served him well in such situations.

Peace

(in reply to bignipples2share)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: initial meeting - 7/4/2006 11:13:56 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		This is the same post as in the sbu/slave forum.

(in reply to PonyGroom)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: initial meeting - 7/4/2006 11:20:43 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

This is the same post as in the sbu/slave forum.


*scrached head for a second* I am glad you pointed that out.. I mean.. I know it's late..but I could have sworn I just posted to this person a bit ago.
 
                                ~andrea

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: initial meeting - 7/5/2006 12:23:01 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		Yes, my advice is to not expect anything, but go prepared just in case and don't forget your raincoat :)

_____________________________





(in reply to tbear4759)
Profile   Post #: 10
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