RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)?

RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (Full Version)

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AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (1/23/2014 7:18:35 AM)
RS - It's interesting that you post the vagina cast art. I don't know if it's the same project, but I was asked to um.... model for such a project in college. Not a dignified process. I'll leave it to your imagination whether you might find a plaster model of my nether-regions on proud display somewhere. Anyway. Of course people find different things attractive. It goes without saying that maybe you like one look, maybe you like another. I don't for one moment expect any guy to find every woman or every vulva equally pleasant. I suppose what I objected to was the needlessness of the comment. Unless I missed it, no woman in the thread was suggesting that all men need to admire their vulva or find it especially enticing to look at. The tone of it was like he was correcting womankind - like he was saying 'what you women need to realise is that some of your vaginas are ugly'. He pretty much DID imply that some don't deserve oral sex because of the way they look. No, he didn't say that he refused to do it. But the way he blurted out that he doesn't like the look of some of them, sort of out of nowhere, made me wonder if he hadn't blurted out the same sort of thing to women in person. Oral sex is incredibly intimate anyway. I don't speak for all women, but I think for a lot of us there are concerns about hygiene, taste and odour. We worry about being judged (or certainly at the beginning of sexual maturity, hopefully this goes away with increasing confidence and good experiences). To hear someone vocalise that some are not pleasant to look at, they don't look like they 'deserve' to be kissed - it just adds one more thing to worry about. He's going to be close enough to see it in extreme detail, is he judging me? Does he think it's ugly? This may seem like a silly concern to you, but it's not a rare one. In a way, the fact that you don't see many sets of privates can make it worse - a lot of women reach sexual maturity without having seen more than one or two vulvas in a school text book. They honestly don't know what's normal and what's odd. They don't know just how wide a variation there is in that part of the body. Boobs might be everywhere in the media, but you also tend to see at least the rough size and shape of boobs on women all the time. Even if you're unhappy with your own, you know that some people have small ones and some have big ones and changing in the locker room will show you different types of nipples etc. Even changing for the pool with another woman, you're highly unlikely to see her labia. Combine 'is that how it's supposed to look' with 'well some don't look like they deserve to be licked' and you have a recipe for some insecurities.

Lucylastic -> RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (1/23/2014 7:42:13 AM)
I had nightmares for months after my youngest was born because he pretty much ripped me open, and I had 84 stitches from a plastic surgeon. I didnt see my real pussy for six months,it was swollen and purple and stitches everywhere. It took me 3 months to get back to oral sex...it was painful every time I sat down, I felt pull or pressure, I didnt wanna look, hubby was awesome, but it didnt stop the semi horror at the thought of how it looked, tasted felt, etc. I mean it had just put forth a ten pounder , how could it ever be the same....but it is:)

FieryOpal -> RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (1/23/2014 8:20:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders .... He pretty much DID imply that some don't deserve oral sex because of the way they look. No, he didn't say that he refused to do it. But the way he blurted out that he doesn't like the look of some of them, sort of out of nowhere, made me wonder if he hadn't blurted out the same sort of thing to women in person. Oral sex is incredibly intimate anyway. I don't speak for all women, but I think for a lot of us there are concerns about hygiene, taste and odour. We worry about being judged (or certainly at the beginning of sexual maturity, hopefully this goes away with increasing confidence and good experiences). To hear someone vocalise that some are not pleasant to look at, they don't look like they 'deserve' to be kissed - it just adds one more thing to worry about. He's going to be close enough to see it in extreme detail, is he judging me? Does he think it's ugly? This may seem like a silly concern to you, but it's not a rare one. In a way, the fact that you don't see many sets of privates can make it worse - a lot of women reach sexual maturity without having seen more than one or two vulvas in a school text book.... This is how that remark struck me as well, particularly the use of the word "deserve." It wasn't used within a D/s context of orgasm control, teasing&denial/edging, dangling a carrot, rewarding a slave with a special treat. There is nothing a woman who has her legs spread for you has to do or be to "deserve" getting orally serviced when she's with a sex partner who undoubtedly made it loud and clear beforehand that he eagerly enjoys doing this. Add to that there are many men who prefer for a woman's pubic area to look a certain way, kept neatly trimmed or devoid of hair. Those bikini waxes and Brazilians aren't free. Neither are kits. If a guy wants the lawn maintained a certain way, then he needs to be prepared to shell out the cost for its upkeep. (Just another concern to add to the list. And no, we gals don't make it a practice of going around comparing our nether regions with one another, unlike guys in locker rooms who don't have much of a choice catching glimpses of each other's junk by which to make comparisons.) quote: ORIGINAL: Takecharge13 ... there are pussies that just look like they *deserved* kissed and licked and some not so much. I wonder how you would feel if a woman made you feel yours didn't look like it was suckable or fuckable. Assuming, that is, you're not into small-dick humiliation.[sm=eeew.gif] [Edited to insert word]

Ilyrium -> RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (1/23/2014 11:21:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal I wonder how you would feel if a woman made you feel yours didn't look like it was suckable or fuckable. Assuming, that is, you're not into small-dick humiliation. I realize this was posted at a different poster, but, I must agree that I, for one, never knew what a vagina really looked like until I was in my college years. Sure, I had a girlfriend in high school, and sure she pestered me to do what came naturally to her, and, sure, I did it, but, mostly it was in the dark, and, for some strange reason, I had my eyes closed. Worse yet, inexplicably to me now, I didn't really care to explore. I just did it and then washed up afterward. It was only in college that I began to be FASCINATED with the lovely petals of the vagina! Every fold held a new moist spot to lick and taste. Every rosebud was vastly different in texture and reaction. Some outer lips were huge, but, when I started dating Asian girls in graduate school, you couldn't even FIND the inner lips, without two hands parting the swollen outer ones. The one black lady I dated, in contrast, had huuuuge inner lips, which actually stuck outside of the outer ones. Point is, every single vagina is delectably DIFFERENT! In a billion years, I'd never get bored. In fact, nowadays, there isn't even a bush to have to scramble my tongue past in order get get to the goodies. Now, with eyes wide open, the entire glorious delicacy is bared to my eyes, nose, lips, and tongue. Today, I can't imagine a single vagina on the planet being ugly or not lickable. Thinking back, I can not explain why, at first, it was a yucky sight (I'm talking early teen years), and now, it's a fantastically delightful delicacy. I guess, just like our tastes mature for alcoholic spirits, our tastes likewise mature for the arousingly intoxicating female vagina!

Ilyrium -> RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (1/23/2014 11:29:31 AM)
Oops. I got so carried away in the details of the last post that I plumb forgot my point was to respond to the small-dick comment. I got in trouble, in my earlier posts on CM (a few months ago) when I mentioned my dick size in a post - so - all I'll say is I WISH women cared as much about a good-looking cock as we (at least "me") men care about the vagina. But, if I had a horrid looking cock - my guess is that it wouldn't matter. It would matter as much as if I had a huge cock - which is to say - it really doesn't seem to matter to women either way. Alas, as are many differences between the sexes, what matters to one is nearly meaningless to the other. However, from what I can gather here, women don't really give much of a twit about a huge well trimmed cock - or an ugly shrunken teeny weeny polka dot bikini cock. What women seem to care about are relationships. Period. I guess that's good news for all the guys with cocks less than the average six or whatever inches - as - well - women don't care about this stuff - so it' would be hard to humiliate a guy when it really doesn't matter WHAT the guy's cock looks like. Women would be, I would think, so very much easier to humiliate, since they seem to care more about THEIR looks than they care about a guy's looks - but that's not my "thing", so, I say no more lest I get into more trouble than I am right now.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (1/23/2014 11:31:34 AM)
Truthfully, Ilyrium, that sort of objectification of how wonderful the vagina is would make me as self conscious as knowing my partner found it unattractive.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (1/23/2014 12:28:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ilyrium Oops. I got so carried away in the details of the last post that I plumb forgot my point was to respond to the small-dick comment. I got in trouble, in my earlier posts on CM (a few months ago) when I mentioned my dick size in a post - so - all I'll say is I WISH women cared as much about a good-looking cock as we (at least "me") men care about the vagina. But, if I had a horrid looking cock - my guess is that it wouldn't matter. It would matter as much as if I had a huge cock - which is to say - it really doesn't seem to matter to women either way. Alas, as are many differences between the sexes, what matters to one is nearly meaningless to the other. However, from what I can gather here, women don't really give much of a twit about a huge well trimmed cock - or an ugly shrunken teeny weeny polka dot bikini cock. What women seem to care about are relationships. Period. I guess that's good news for all the guys with cocks less than the average six or whatever inches - as - well - women don't care about this stuff - so it' would be hard to humiliate a guy when it really doesn't matter WHAT the guy's cock looks like. Women would be, I would think, so very much easier to humiliate, since they seem to care more about THEIR looks than they care about a guy's looks - but that's not my "thing", so, I say no more lest I get into more trouble than I am right now. You still don't get it do you? Women (I'm submissive btw) for the most part, care about the entire package. You're still focused entirely on body parts. You may think the above was a tribute to women, it was IMO a transparent case of trying too hard and the effort falling flat. I live with a Man who treasures me for who I am. The whole person, not a bunch of separate body parts. He's sensitive to my needs, knows me emotionally as well as physically. Since we live D/s 24/7, most of our days are taken up with every day life. Bills have to be paid, meals have to be cooked, apartment cleaned, etc. The kinky sex is an added bonus. I do things to please him, not sexual but service related. I don't expect anything in return, I get joy out of knowing he's happy that I've done something without being asked. I don't need or want praise, not my style. I'm no better or worse than anyone else, I'm just me. YMMV

shiftyw -> RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (1/23/2014 3:09:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear You still don't get it do you? Women (I'm submissive btw) for the most part, care about the entire package. You're still focused entirely on body parts. You may think the above was a tribute to women, it was IMO a transparent case of trying too hard and the effort falling flat. I think its beyond falling flat. I personally find levels of that description pretty outright obsessive and almost...disrespectful? I'm not going to elaborate further because I'm struggling to put into words exactly what bugs me about these flowery descriptions- which I get in my inbox frequently- or read in profiles too. I agree with Athena though- that level of obsession with oral sex makes me as self conscious as someone who finds my vagina ugly. To answer RS- I agree with Athena's assessment of the post whole heatedly. I've worried about my vagina being loose/hairy/smelly/unappealing so much. Its seriously a ton of upkeep and a source of real insecurity for me because it feels like someone would dump me over it. I'm so insecure- I still wax- even if I HATE IT SO MUCH. I hate it. I have sensitive skin and its horribly uncomfortable for two days after waxing. But in fact, I think it was one of your "top three qualities" in a girl in another thread (although I'm sure there was humor intended, some people mean that with no humor at all). Not shaving is such a deal breaker for so many people, I can only assume that how much my vagina deserves to be licked because of how it looks is also a huge factor in deciding to date me, but actually even worse, because there is so little I can do about it.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (1/23/2014 3:25:02 PM)
Shifty, I was actually trying to find something a whole lot more than "falling flat". It just wasn't enough but all I could come up with after staring at the screen for too long.

shiftyw -> RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (1/24/2014 6:12:17 AM)
I didn't want to get gold mail. haha. But I thought about it later and I'm also bothered by how you, OP, are categorizing all women as relationship oriented as well. I have had a good deal of casual sex with certain friends of mine- FRIENDS, not one night stands, not bang buddies- we have an emotional and physical connection, Ilyrium, I do not always feel relationship oriented, it does make my desires complicated. Things are not as black and white as you are making them. Women enjoy sex, but no one wants to be beating a humping dog off their leg and saying "down boy" all the time. You are in a discussion over on "ask a mistress" I suggest you read again, keeping in mind that most PEOPLE- not just WOMEN- are looking for an emotional, as well as physical connection. If you want your Domme to have kinky sex with you- start by respecting her instead of treating her like a piece of meat to gain your own pleasure from. No one is a "one size fits all" get that through your head.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Why don't women ask for face sitting (as opposed to cunnilingus) more often (akin to fellatio)? (1/24/2014 11:45:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders RS - It's interesting that you post the vagina cast art. I don't know if it's the same project, but I was asked to um.... model for such a project in college. Not a dignified process. I'll leave it to your imagination whether you might find a plaster model of my nether-regions on proud display somewhere. Anyway. Of course people find different things attractive. It goes without saying that maybe you like one look, maybe you like another. I don't for one moment expect any guy to find every woman or every vulva equally pleasant. I suppose what I objected to was the needlessness of the comment. Unless I missed it, no woman in the thread was suggesting that all men need to admire their vulva or find it especially enticing to look at. The tone of it was like he was correcting womankind - like he was saying 'what you women need to realise is that some of your vaginas are ugly'. He pretty much DID imply that some don't deserve oral sex because of the way they look. No, he didn't say that he refused to do it. But the way he blurted out that he doesn't like the look of some of them, sort of out of nowhere, made me wonder if he hadn't blurted out the same sort of thing to women in person. Oral sex is incredibly intimate anyway. I don't speak for all women, but I think for a lot of us there are concerns about hygiene, taste and odour. We worry about being judged (or certainly at the beginning of sexual maturity, hopefully this goes away with increasing confidence and good experiences). To hear someone vocalise that some are not pleasant to look at, they don't look like they 'deserve' to be kissed - it just adds one more thing to worry about. He's going to be close enough to see it in extreme detail, is he judging me? Does he think it's ugly? This may seem like a silly concern to you, but it's not a rare one. In a way, the fact that you don't see many sets of privates can make it worse - a lot of women reach sexual maturity without having seen more than one or two vulvas in a school text book. They honestly don't know what's normal and what's odd. They don't know just how wide a variation there is in that part of the body. Boobs might be everywhere in the media, but you also tend to see at least the rough size and shape of boobs on women all the time. Even if you're unhappy with your own, you know that some people have small ones and some have big ones and changing in the locker room will show you different types of nipples etc. Even changing for the pool with another woman, you're highly unlikely to see her labia. Combine 'is that how it's supposed to look' with 'well some don't look like they deserve to be licked' and you have a recipe for some insecurities. Thank you for your reply. I understand your perspective better now. And you have shown me a new perspective from the point of someone that does not see a lot of nekked puss-puss. They would be in the dark for a reference point. I see how that could lead to doubts or insecurities.

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