Making your slave top from the bottom! (Full Version)

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dananddawn -> Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 4:01:23 AM)

So to speak.

How do you, slaves, keep your Masters and Owners on track with there goals without being bossy?

For example, dansarani knows I have a goal to meditate daily. But instead of saying "you better meditate before you go to work lazy man!" she says "Sir, do you have time to meditate before work?" When I mumble yes, she lights the candle and makes the preparations so that it is registered in my master brain as "next".



shadowborn61 -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 4:32:31 AM)

I try not to top from the bottom or at least i do not see it as such if i am fixing myself something to eat i ask my wife if she is hungry, When she gets up in the morning i get her coffee and a whole host of minor things i do to make her life more comfortable that i do without thinking about it.
My wife is very good at working towards Her goals and so it is usually Her that is keeping me on track to meet my own goals.



shadowborn61 -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 4:35:53 AM)

Now i should say that sometimes during play that my wife will instruct me to do certain things she enjoys that may not be seen as a submissive act except that i do them because she instructs me to



myotherself -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 7:23:40 AM)

I tend to trust him to do what he says he will do - he is the leader in our relationship, after all!

Every now and then he'll say 'remind me to...' and when the time comes I will say 'don't forget you have to...'. Otherwise, I'll figure he's changed his mind and it's not my place to question that.

Now, the only time I take control is in cooking. I know how to prepare a healthy meal and he knows I want to take care of his health, so he leaves it up to me to prepare something he'll enjoy without having to check up on me.



Toysinbabeland -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 7:35:30 AM)

wording is essential to show respect.
This phrase comes to mind:
"You have instructed me to remind you of....if you still please"

The balance of power remains in harmony.



FieryOpal -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 7:55:38 AM)

When your sub is acting in the capacity of a personal assistant or any other support position, I wouldn't consider this to be Topping from the bottom. If you're a smart boss, you would want to have an efficient employee who doesn't require having her/his hand held, takes the initiative to do what needs to be done, keeps on top of things and reminds you of important matters when necessary (or even the most mundane), essentially to go beyond what's listed in her/his basic job description.

It isn't our function as Masters/Mistresses to spoonfeed our subs, enable them, or fail to encourage them to excel and be the best that they can be, which includes exercising their judgment. Don't forget that the root of the word "boss" is Master, e.g. Dutch baas=master, Frisian baes=master. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/boss

IMO, Topping from the bottom is more of a manipulative strategy on the part of a submissive to get her/his way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowborn61

Now i should say that sometimes during play that my wife will instruct me to do certain things she enjoys that may not be seen as a submissive act except that i do them because she instructs me to

Now, this is how I prefer to incorporate (consensual) Topping from the bottom.-^



DesFIP -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 12:47:03 PM)

"Hey Honey, you asked me to remind you to do X. Did you get to it yet?".



peppermint -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 3:46:04 PM)

You want to meditate daily. She arranges it so that you do what you want to do. How is that topping from the bottom?

I ask Gary daily if he weighed himself and what his blood sugar was. I ask if he wants his shots before I go to bed and make sure he's taken his pills. I tell him when he's supposed to do blood work. When his breathing sounds raspy I ask him to do a nebulizer. These things are not topping from the bottom. They are part of taking care of my dom so that he is as healthy as possible.

Edited to add:

I must be doing something right. The doctors gave him 3-7 years on his lung transplant. He is now at 12 1/2 years.



lilcracker -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 3:54:46 PM)

i just tell him....because he handles the money....I will say...this bill needs to be paid this week, can you pick up xyz at the store or do you want me to get it.....do you need to get up for work now....(his hours are crazy)....tonight is trash night....am I taking it out or are you. In our household...it's called communication...not topping from the bottom.



kalikshama -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 3:58:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

You want to meditate daily. She arranges it so that you do what you want to do. How is that topping from the bottom?

I ask Gary daily if he weighed himself and what his blood sugar was. I ask if he wants his shots before I go to bed and make sure he's taken his pills. I tell him when he's supposed to do blood work. When his breathing sounds raspy I ask him to do a nebulizer. These things are not topping from the bottom. They are part of taking care of my dom so that he is as healthy as possible.

Edited to add:

I must be doing something right. The doctors gave him 3-7 years on his lung transplant. He is now at 12 1/2 years.


Awesome example, peppermint!



kalikshama -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 4:00:07 PM)

quote:

When your sub is acting in the capacity of a personal assistant or any other support position, I wouldn't consider this to be Topping from the bottom. If you're a smart boss, you would want to have an efficient employee who doesn't require having her/his hand held, takes the initiative to do what needs to be done, keeps on top of things and reminds you of important matters when necessary (or even the most mundane), essentially to go beyond what's listed in her/his basic job description.


Yes, I think my 11 years of working as a Personal Assistant/Executive Assistant/Office Manager helps make me a great submissive.



RaspberryLemon -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/2/2014 11:50:15 PM)

My Master is a pretty forgetful person sometimes, so even things that are important to him can slip his mind. So one of my jobs is to help him with that and help remind him of stuff that I know he intended to do.

Sometimes, I do need more specific instruction on what to remind him of, though. Because sometimes I feel insecure about reminding him of certain things. For example, reminding him to take pictures of me. He tells me he wants to do it, then forgets. To me, having pictures taken of me is really hard and I get very self-conscious and insecure about it, and it's easy for me to think that rather than forgetting about doing it, he actually just doesn't want to do it, and so I feel like reminding him is more like me trying to convince him that he wants to do it. So what helps then is him specifically telling me to remind him about it, and giving me a schedule of when/how to remind him. The structure/instruction of it makes it much more comfortable for me.



littlewonder -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/3/2014 8:34:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dananddawn

So to speak.

How do you, slaves, keep your Masters and Owners on track with there goals without being bossy?

For example, dansarani knows I have a goal to meditate daily. But instead of saying "you better meditate before you go to work lazy man!" she says "Sir, do you have time to meditate before work?" When I mumble yes, she lights the candle and makes the preparations so that it is registered in my master brain as "next".


I don't.

Master is a responsible man and I can't remember the last time I had to remind him of something. I just don't have to. He's just a man who makes sure he does what he says and says what he does.

Now there are times when I might ask him something out of curiosity if he did something or whatever, but not to remind him, not to nag him but just because I'm curious.

I'm also his "secretary" so I will just give him a rundown on our schedules and such at the beginning of the week but once I tell him, I don't remind him. I just have never had to. He's really, really good about being responsible. It's one of the huge, huge things I love about him.



littlewonder -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/3/2014 8:36:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I tend to trust him to do what he says he will do - he is the leader in our relationship, after all!

Every now and then he'll say 'remind me to...' and when the time comes I will say 'don't forget you have to...'. Otherwise, I'll figure he's changed his mind and it's not my place to question that.

Now, the only time I take control is in cooking. I know how to prepare a healthy meal and he knows I want to take care of his health, so he leaves it up to me to prepare something he'll enjoy without having to check up on me.


Yup, yup. This sounds like us as well.



NuevaVida -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/3/2014 9:13:57 PM)

Reminding him of things he needs to do is not what I consider topping from the bottom.

Usually it's along the lines of, "Babe, were you still planning on doing such n such?" or, "Oh, don't forget, you wanted to do such n such."

When it comes to fitness, it's, "Do you want to come to the gym with me, or are you going to stay home?"

But mostly he remembers on his own. I'm the forgetful one of the bunch.



kyraofMists -> RE: Making your slave top from the bottom! (1/4/2014 7:13:05 AM)

We do it in a similar way as dawn, asking questions.

There are things like his medication that we just being to him because it is a standing order.



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