Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave - 1/4/2014 5:32:53 PM

jg1992

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/2/2014
Status: offline

Im just really curious if you would rather have a slave that is all ready trained
Or would you like to train a new slave just the way you want ?

Trust me I have lots of questions lol

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave - 1/4/2014 6:58:20 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

It's great you're asking questions! Keep 'em coming.

Just as you're an individual, so your dominant will be. 'Training' (whatever that actually means) will differ from one person to the next. Personally, I like a clean slate. It takes a lot of energy to 'untrain' someone, then re-teach them what you want.

As long as you express your desire to serve in whatever ways she wants (excluding your hard limits, of course), your inexperience should not be a deterrent. Just keep in mind what she calls service may not be your favorite thing. Case in point: I don't like oral sex, yet every tom dick and harry writes me telling me how good they are at it and how they love to do it for hours. Well, if they've got hours to do something I don't like, they probably have hours to do something I do like; foot rubs, for instance, which make me feel so relaxed and pampered, I'm likely to be VERY generous with my rewards.

Also, service could be something non-physical like reaching for something on a high shelf for her. Driving her where she needs to go. Fixing something in her house or yard; hanging a blind, mowing the grass. Singing to her on a walk through the park. These types of things cost little or nothing, yet most women hold them in as high regard as an expensive dinner or diamond jewelry. Actually, I hold them in higher regard because they mean much more to me.

Get the idea? Good luck, keep us posted!

(in reply to jg1992)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave - 1/4/2014 7:56:58 PM

TheRealThingDC

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/7/2011
Status: offline

No matter how much training someone thinks he has before meeting me, I will still have to take time to get him to be just how I want him. There is no universal, generic slave who arrives trained "out of the box" so it doesn't matter if someone has served 0 others or 100 others - though, if someone has served a lot of other people and has a million reasons he is not still with any of them, that's more of a cause of concern.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave - 1/5/2014 2:06:37 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

Personally, I like a clean slate. It takes a lot of energy to 'untrain' someone, then re-teach them what you want.

Either extreme makes me wary, those with no RT experience and those who claim to have 20 years' experience serving as a slave. Let me tell you why:

- Ipso facto, with no experience to speak of, why does he call himself a "slave" in the first place? Slave to whom--himself? I don't even know whether such a man is a submissive yet.

- Being overly experienced IMHO is a liability. He's been conditioned and entrenched in habit patterns which will be hard to break. I hate to say this, but he could be damaged goods. Chances are also greater that we have incompatible kinks. When I see in the profiles of chastity slaves or foot slaves who "Live For" chastity or foot worship, those who then try to claim this isn't significant to them when I inform them I don't do chastity and am not into foot fetishists, there's nothing further to discuss. Don't insult my intelligence with such backpedaling, especially when it's right there plain as day in your user name (and/or profile pic).

I haven't ruled them out entirely due to possible confusion in terminology, but I don't do slaves. My sub is my sub, not my slave. Neither have I taken on a switch before. It does raise the bar in my eyes for different reasons whether we would make suitable matches.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave - 1/5/2014 6:13:12 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Depends what sort of training your talking about?

If a submissive/slave told me they were highly trained in correct slave protocols, that there ex Domme/Master trained them in the art of salute, when to be on their knees and how to never turn their back on their Master which meant learning the art of walking backwards, I would say, 'get out of here'!.

If they had been trained how to cook, make a decent cup of coffee, keep the house tidy and do the laundry thoroughly, I would be more than happy. I know people say they like things doing their way and of course its true but a proficient cook is a proficient cook and a decent cleaner is a decent cleaner! I can cope with tweaking things to suit me. What I don't want is someone I have to nanny for weeks.

What will really drive me nuts is a submissive who constantly tells me, 'my ex Master liked it this way' or 'my ex Master told me never to do that'. I've had one of those and after two days I suggested he fuck off back to his ex Master.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave - 1/5/2014 9:32:29 AM

StrictlyADomina

Posts: 103
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline

As others have stated, each Domina will want things the way she likes them. Which means each Domina will have different duties/preferences from the submissive...ie..training. So really, trained or un-trained there is not a lot of difference in that respect. Now when it comes to experience, that may be a little more what you are referring to. The ones with experience with a responsible dominant might be more tempting to a Domina. Why? Well the fantasy mindset the submissive might have about what being submissive is, may have been addressed. That experienced submissive might also have good references.

(in reply to MariaB)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave - 1/5/2014 9:39:09 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrictlyADomina

As others have stated, each Domina will want things the way she likes them. Which means each Domina will have different duties/preferences from the submissive...ie..training. So really, trained or un-trained there is not a lot of difference in that respect. Now when it comes to experience, that may be a little more what you are referring to. The ones with experience with a responsible dominant might be more tempting to a Domina. Why? Well the fantasy mindset the submissive might have about what being submissive is, may have been addressed. That experienced submissive might also have good references.

This is a really good point. Sub frenzy is a pain in the ass An experienced sub has likely been through that and grown out of it. Someone who has genuinely had experience tends to be calmer and more in tune with the dominant.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to StrictlyADomina)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave - 1/5/2014 10:48:55 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

Personally, I like a clean slate. It takes a lot of energy to 'untrain' someone, then re-teach them what you want.

Either extreme makes me wary, those with no RT experience and those who claim to have 20 years' experience serving as a slave. Let me tell you why:

- Ipso facto, with no experience to speak of, why does he call himself a "slave" in the first place? Slave to whom--himself? I don't even know whether such a man is a submissive yet.

- Being overly experienced IMHO is a liability. He's been conditioned and entrenched in habit patterns which will be hard to break. I hate to say this, but he could be damaged goods. Chances are also greater that we have incompatible kinks. When I see in the profiles of chastity slaves or foot slaves who "Live For" chastity or foot worship, those who then try to claim this isn't significant to them when I inform them I don't do chastity and am not into foot fetishists, there's nothing further to discuss. Don't insult my intelligence with such backpedaling, especially when it's right there plain as day in your user name (and/or profile pic).

I haven't ruled them out entirely due to possible confusion in terminology, but I don't do slaves. My sub is my sub, not my slave. Neither have I taken on a switch before. It does raise the bar in my eyes for different reasons whether we would make suitable matches.

The bits I bolded are what I've experienced. I've met really delightful women on both ends of the equation. The completely inexperienced have been completely gunshy and unwilling to take that next step. Those with a lot of experience have had such baggage from past relationships that if they don't find someone identical to their past 'ideal' they don't view it as 'real and twue'. I've no patience for either.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave - 1/5/2014 10:59:51 AM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline

I don't mind a beginner if he has done a lot of research (not porn, but reading and staying in tune with forums like "Ask a Mistress", etc) so that he isn't shocked when reality hits.

What I DON'T want is someone who tells Me he is fully-trained. As several previous people wrote, "un-training" the old Mistress' preferences out of a sub/slave is a huge drain on My time.
I'm often very particular how I want things done, and I want them done a certain way for a genuine REASON...so doing them the way SOMEONE ELSE wanted them done just isn't going to cut it!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Would you rather have a new slave or a trained slave - 1/5/2014 12:25:00 PM

LorraineCA

Posts: 114
Joined: 12/10/2013
Status: offline

Well, I'm looking for a slave that does house cleaning so I would rather have one that is experienced. However, I'm willing to train someone. So I think most prefer already trained but doesn't mind training if necessary.

(in reply to jg1992)

Profile

Post #: 10