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...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 9:13:46 AM

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I am curious about rape fantasy...including an element of fear, frankly.

my question is this: is this something you have done with a sub/slave? did they enjoy it as much as they thought they would or you thought they would? do you have any advice surrounding this fantasy based on your personal experiences with your sub/slave?

thanks!!

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 10:15:42 AM

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Neither my husband or me are submissive but we did put together a plan to do this. We talked about it frankly and carefully and then we talked about it again. I didn't know when if ever it was going to happen. I believed I could overpower him because I'm a real fighter!

When it happened I fought with every bone in my body. He got hurt, there was blood up the walls and it wasn't mine! but I was amazed at how fast he could overpower me. I had absolutely no idea that men are so strong. I wasn't afraid because it was Steve and no matter how rough he was, I was equally brutal back. My/our adrenalin was at an all time high, we were both exhausted, exhilarated and very glad we had done it.

Would I do it again? absolutely not, once was enough!

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(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 10:35:12 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tallandsweet16
I am curious about rape fantasy...including an element of fear, frankly.

my question is this: is this something you have done with a sub/slave? did they enjoy it as much as they thought they would or you thought they would? do you have any advice surrounding this fantasy based on your personal experiences with your sub/slave?

thanks!!

I've done "forced sex" before with a lady who really enjoyed saying "No, stop." She didn't really resist though. And I've done different things with women who more or less said, "Make me," because they wanted me to take charge, and were giving a cue that it was ok. I've also said "no" when a female friend asked me to re-enact her rape, with me as the rapist.

You might be interested in the book My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. It's a classic. It was the first serious look at women's sexual fantasies, and rape was definitely part of it. According to her, about 5% of women had rape fantasies. So it isn't common, but it isn't any more rare than most other kinks.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Secret_Garden

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 11:28:03 AM

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once was enough!? love that you said that...
and honestly the scene you describe sounds so hott to me...and good for you for being a fighter! i'm a feisty one, too, and my vision in my head of this fantasy definitely involves a physical power struggle as well as ripped clothes and use of force.

(in reply to MariaB)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 11:29:46 AM

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red magic--i will take a look at the book you suggest. :) thank you.
and also, i like the idea of saying "make me" and seeing what transpires there...but the actual fantasy of rape with the element of fear certainly does "something" to me... ha!

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 11:32:55 AM

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I decided to add something because of your post history. It might be unfair of me to bring in your message board past like this, but, on the other hand, it might be something you appreciate.

It's about being aroused due to fear.

I've seen this in sub women, far beyond just a rape fantasy or a desire to be mind-fucked. I've known women, and one good friend most closely, who wanted to feel at risk in their day-to-day relationships, not just in a forced-sex-scene. Their interactions with men were like bungee jumping to them -- they needed adrenalin and intensity to feel alive, or to have their best orgasms. In the case of my friend, this meant that she dated several highly intelligent men (professor, another professor, and so on), most of whom were diagnosed bipolar. Not exaggerating -- they had the prescription meds to prove it. And, not surprisingly, she felt burned and used when all of those relationships collapsed.

Frankly, I think giving you advice is irrelevant. You're going to learn through your own experiences, and that's the way it's going to be. But at some point I hope you ask yourself what you're really looking for -- not what you say you're looking for, but what your actions demonstrate you are looking for. Do you want a man who will introduce you to a ready-made world of sensation? Or do you want a man who will build something with you, together, step by step?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 11:50:50 AM

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red--i appreciate your perspective always. ...i like your tell it how it is demeanor and i love considering your points of view, even when they differ from mine. so thank you. :)

in answer to your question which was likely rhetorical, i want a man who i can build something with step by step...something deep and something unlike any other bond i've ever shared with a soul...someone who wants to own my mind, body, heart and soul and someone who feels complete and fulfilled by my submission and loyalty and love.

the rape fantasy question was actually prompted by a friend of mine who i chat with quite a bit and we were both surprised to realize that we both had that fantasy! i've never verbalized it before as i was always ashamed/too embarrassed to admit such a thing...so i asked the question to gauge how common it may or may not be.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 11:57:35 AM

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To the OP there has to be a level of trust. If the trust isn't there you could hit a trigger. A BIG ONE. If you're element of fear is based on a previous experience...I would be careful....

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 11:59:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tallandsweet16
in answer to your question which was likely rhetorical, i want a man who i can build something with step by step...something deep and something unlike any other bond i've ever shared with a soul...someone who wants to own my mind, body, heart and soul and someone who feels complete and fulfilled by my submission and loyalty and love.

That's beautiful, and it's something that I'm sure many men want too. However, it's asking for a lot. You know how it's scary to say "I love you" for the first time in a relationship? No one's quite sure whether they should say it first, what if the other person doesn't respond the right way. You're asking for the words "I own you" to have pretty much the same weight. Given that, how likely is it that you'll find that weight, that gravitas, in a man who will give you orders starting on day one? You might be better served to look for a man who isn't in a hurry to cut you orders, because he wants your obedience to mean something.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 12:13:15 PM

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red--- i agree completely with you. in all areas of your last post. :)

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 12:32:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetAnise

To the OP there has to be a level of trust. If the trust isn't there you could hit a trigger. A BIG ONE. If you're element of fear is based on a previous experience...I would be careful....

Absolutely agree with this ^

You have to be honest with both yourself and your partner about why you want this, especially if there is a history behind it. If there is a history then its a pretty daunting for the guy because so much could go wrong.

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RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 1:25:31 PM

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From: The Shire
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetAnise

To the OP there has to be a level of trust. If the trust isn't there you could hit a trigger. A BIG ONE. If you're element of fear is based on a previous experience...I would be careful....

^^ ditto this.
We don't do rape play in my relationship because I have PTSD from rape- and so we avoid consensual non consensual play altogether.
I'm in the "BDSM isn't therapy" camp- so to me "reenacting" would absolutely destroy my relationship, my psyche, and interfere with a lot in my life.

Even if you don't have a past/previous experience- this type of play requires serious trust, discussion, and communication you may have triggers you don't even know you have. Be smart and careful, pick your partner wisely and follow everyone else's advice.

(in reply to SweetAnise)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 1:35:45 PM

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hi, all. no, i'm not looking to recreate a rape experience--luckily, that's not the genesis of this fantasy for me. :)

(in reply to shiftyw)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 1:42:42 PM

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From: Down the Shore
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: tallandsweet16
in answer to your question which was likely rhetorical, i want a man who i can build something with step by step...something deep and something unlike any other bond i've ever shared with a soul...someone who wants to own my mind, body, heart and soul and someone who feels complete and fulfilled by my submission and loyalty and love.

That's beautiful, and it's something that I'm sure many men want too. However, it's asking for a lot. You know how it's scary to say "I love you" for the first time in a relationship? No one's quite sure whether they should say it first, what if the other person doesn't respond the right way. You're asking for the words "I own you" to have pretty much the same weight. Given that, how likely is it that you'll find that weight, that gravitas, in a man who will give you orders starting on day one? You might be better served to look for a man who isn't in a hurry to cut you orders, because he wants your obedience to mean something.

I. Love. This.

:)

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Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 3:10:38 PM

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quote:

It's about being aroused due to fear.

I've seen this in sub women, far beyond just a rape fantasy or a desire to be mind-fucked. I've known women, and one good friend most closely, who wanted to feel at risk in their day-to-day relationships, not just in a forced-sex-scene. Their interactions with men were like bungee jumping to them -- they needed adrenalin and intensity to feel alive, or to have their best orgasms. In the case of my friend, this meant that she dated several highly intelligent men (professor, another professor, and so on), most of whom were diagnosed bipolar. Not exaggerating -- they had the prescription meds to prove it. And, not surprisingly, she felt burned and used when all of those relationships collapsed.

Yes, I believe I have made bad relationship choices in the past due to this.

I've just fairly recently realized how much fear turns me on, partially due to a scene with a play partner a few years ago which was 10 days after he'd had heart surgery and I was terrified he'd have a heart attack while I was bound. The puddle on the sheet afterwards was unbelievable!

My man now is not into impact but is into psychological play, and I have found that works for me quite well.

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 3:17:09 PM

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quote:

You know how it's scary to say "I love you" for the first time in a relationship? No one's quite sure whether they should say it first, what if the other person doesn't respond the right way. You're asking for the words "I own you" to have pretty much the same weight. Given that, how likely is it that you'll find that weight, that gravitas, in a man who will give you orders starting on day one? You might be better served to look for a man who isn't in a hurry to cut you orders, because he wants your obedience to mean something.

This a great response to threads involving insta-submission.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 3:23:35 PM

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I have done rape play since I started in BDSM and always with a serious boyfriend.

I was lucky to live this out safely and without inhibitions.

(in reply to kalikshama)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 5:26:14 PM

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I actually was on a Rape Squad for awhile, and it was a ton of fun. We took applications within a larger group that we were all connected to. It covered everything from your daily schedule, a safeword, hard limits, soft limits, and most importantly a co-conspirator. We usually worked closely with the "victim's" partner to customize the rape to their perfect horrors and desires, and to make it as surprising as possible. The co-conspirator usually participated, and was ALWAYS present during to monitor in case there was ANY signs we needed to be aware. Though we also covered triggers, responses to trigger, etc, along with aftercare in the application. Anything that was going to happen was passed through the partner, and the application could be withdrawn at any time.

It was kinda the expectation that it was going to go on until a safeword happened, since it was kinda an onslaught of crazy by your significant other and 3-5 of your closest friends.

For mine my partner actually gave them a key to our house, and barely had my eyes open before I had one of my crazy masked friends in my face, mind you they slammed the front door open and stormed in, and they were extra pissed because it was like 7am. Not like I picked the time!!!! I had NO idea when, just that at some point between any second and forever it was gonna happen.

Due to the nature of how these were set up there was no PIV going on, lots of pervertables, and ANYTHING that was a soft limit. Mine was all centered around food, sticky, and piss. Of course it was the slave of the group who very convincingly "peed" on me, and afterwards it took all of them like 5 minutes to convince me she hadn't.

For my partner's we decided he was going to be a pretty butt princess. We bought the ugliest dress we could find at the thrift store, had a tiara and everything. And his safeword was his cat's name, and by the time the rape happened his cat had died. So since his safeword was dead we had to give him a new one, "I am a pretty pretty butt princess". It was beautiful, and once he said it we sat him up in his dress and gave him his crown and scepter!

It was interesting how they very quickly turned into being all about pushing limits, and that was the "assault". Honestly mine was downright disgusting, terrifying, and I had zero control accept for how it ended.

I still do a lot of consensual non-consent, though neither of us are ever doing that again. Once each was enough!

_____________________________

~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in

You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 5:52:02 PM

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sheisreeds---you're just freaking awesome. i love reading your experiences and posts!! so awesome. rape squad member...totally fab!

(in reply to sheisreeds)

RE: ...Rape Fantasy... - 1/7/2014 6:17:24 PM

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@sheisreeds I tip my hat to you *tips hat*

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

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