quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61

Trying to hit everyone who replied. It may end up being a losing battle. @ Missokyst My prayers go out to you. It is not an easy thing watching a parent die. @shiftyw I cannot say I could blame you on that. Those shyster lawyers are real dicks when they want to be. Wait who am I kidding, they are dicks because they want to be.

ETA those **** should be the "at" sign. Not sure why they come out as asterisks.

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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61

This brings Me to My final thoughts on this topic. I AM going to retire and no longer have to rip up roots after three to four years to move, yet again. This means that I will be actively looking for a submissive eventually. I always thought, for one it would be unfair to own a sub, knowing after three years it would be over, or two to ask them to rip up their roots and move with LP and I, oh yeah, and by the way, you will have to pay for it because you are not My dependent. As people get to know Me better either through the forums and posting or meeting IRL, I will be free to do this without any worries. So for better or worse, I think I am here to stay for a while.

Has anyone else had to put their search for, or participating in a dynamic because of career and/or life circumstances on hold? If so, how did you deal with or cope with it? Thank you for reading this and/or replying if you do.

I've moved a lot as an adult, and it's had an effect on my dating life. But, honestly, it's hella fun to be single. Maybe if I were a woman my age in this society I'd feel differently, but I'm under no pressure to settle down. I can date when I want, and be bachelory when I want. It's pretty nice. I don't feel as though I have to cope with anything.


That said, three years is a loooong time for a D/s relationship with a third person outside a marriage. If you're waiting to follow your internal moral code, that's cool. But if you're waiting because you think women wouldn't be interested in such a "short" time window, you might want to re-think. I'm pretty sure quite a few ladies would be attracted to the chance to serve under you, or under the two of you, even knowing it was "only" going to last for a couple years at most. You're both capable, sensible people, and that's less common (and sexier to female subs) than you might realize.

quote:

Has anyone else had to put their search for, or participating in a dynamic because of career and/or life circumstances on hold? If so, how did you deal with or cope with it?

quote:

Has anyone else had to put their search for, or participating in a dynamic because of career and/or life circumstances on hold? If so, how did you deal with or cope with it? Thank you for reading this and/or replying if you do.

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Yes, I have had to put my search for a partner on hold because I am about about to embark on the cancer train.

And how unfair would it be to offer someone new damaged goods?

Some people say to latch onto someone and I say, hell no. Unless I was already in a relationship where I would I wouldn't get kicked to the curb for getting sick. Otherwise the search is over I guess.

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ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I've moved a lot as an adult, and it's had an effect on my dating life. But, honestly, it's hella fun to be single. Maybe if I were a woman my age in this society I'd feel differently, but I'm under no pressure to settle down. I can date when I want, and be bachelory when I want. It's pretty nice. I don't feel as though I have to cope with anything.


That said, three years is a loooong time for a D/s relationship with a third person outside a marriage. If you're waiting to follow your internal moral code, that's cool. But if you're waiting because you think women wouldn't be interested in such a "short" time window, you might want to re-think. I'm pretty sure quite a few ladies would be attracted to the chance to serve under you, or under the two of you, even knowing it was "only" going to last for a couple years at most. You're both capable, sensible people, and that's less common (and sexier to female subs) than you might realize.

Hmmm. 2 intelligent D-types, looking , but not looking......

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ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne51

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Yes, I have had to put my search for a partner on hold because I am about about to embark on the cancer train.

And how unfair would it be to offer someone new damaged goods?

Some people say to latch onto someone and I say, hell no. Unless I was already in a relationship where I would I wouldn't get kicked to the curb for getting sick. Otherwise the search is over I guess.

Sorry to hear of your failing health concerns. I am permanently disabled and regularly visit 6 specialists for medical treatment. However, I am still active in ALL areas of my life. Although single at the moment, I dont hesitate to describe my health concerns when looking for a submissive; earlier on in the conversation rather than later. Some fall by the wayside sooner than others. I believe in full disclosure to be consentual, and I would feel that I would be very dishonest if I failed to mention the truth about my health.

Best to you in the future. Health issues are not easy or fun for the most part.

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Yes, I agree that full disclosure is vital. Which is why I stopped looking.

The point is, no one wants to be with someone going through cancer.

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Yes, I agree that full disclosure is vital. Which is why I stopped looking.

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Has anyone else had to put their search for, or participating in a dynamic because of career and/or life circumstances on hold? If so, how did you deal with or cope with it? Thank you for reading this and/or replying if you do.[/color]


I hear you. My last boyfriend got arrested for armed robbery and my life was put on hold to support him. It took every cent I owned to help him. It's hard to cope with these things but I'm a firm believer that everything turns out for the best.

(in reply to MisterP61)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Yes, I have had to put my search for a partner on hold because I am about about to embark on the cancer train.

And how unfair would it be to offer someone new damaged goods?

Some people say to latch onto someone and I say, hell no. Unless I was already in a relationship where I would I wouldn't get kicked to the curb for getting sick. Otherwise the search is over I guess.

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ORIGINAL: Rawni

Hugs...

I am a lot like you in thinking with this type of thing, but after a few decades of it, when I lived when they said I wouldn't and have gone 14 years longer and still doing well, I thought I might say something.

My first response to all the news I was getting for over a decade, was... I am not inviting anyone to this party. Do you know how many scolded me for that? lol I was making a choice for others. I was limiting others and myself. I was also protecting myself.

It is hard to ask someone to love you and stick around when you have something like this going on... BUT YOU ARE NOT THE SUMMATION OF YOUR ILLNESS. YOU ARE FAR MORE. Never, ever forget that. Never rob someone of the blessing to love you and for you to love them. It only leads to regrets, pain and a lack of joy when you need joy to strengthen yourself through the hard times. If you can find someone, even a friend... a special friend or lover, to give you a joy that could make the difference in life and strength for the physical, mental and emotional battle... consider they see something of worth and you deserve it.