quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

FR-
I tend to not care about labels myself.

However, I have been BERATED on here for "lying". I've been told I'm not a "real" submissive cause I only like bedroom play. I'm not a real "slave" cause I'm not service oriented (despite having never ever called myself a slave, people make assumptions I guess).
I've been told how seriously I should take all the labels countless times. I've been told to LEAVE the community because I'm "just a bottom" or that I only like kinky sex and that means I'm not dedicated to the cause. I can understand why people care about it, simply because its so rough to be rejected by those within a community you wish to join.
ETA- clarification.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HipPoindexter

I don't wanna pick on anyone in particular, but on both sides of the site I see anxiety about "Am I behaving like an x (Master, switch, Mistress, w/e) should behave?"

My response to these kinds of anxiety is usually to chuckle and sip my jasmine tea and roll my eyes and thank God I have other, much more complicated and exotic, kinds of angst. I try to use words other people will understand (submissive, masochistic, sadistic, etc) to describe my urges and behaviors, but I've never brooded over whether my urges and behaviors conform with one of these labels.

To me thinking "Is this something a Dominant would think?" makes roughly as much sense as thinking "Is this what someone who drinks diet vanilla cherry Dr. Pepper would think?" Labels describe actions, actions do not conform to labels. But I see so much anxiety over fitting into roles that I can't write it all off as just kl00less n00bs. Maybe there is more pressure on people who are actively part of some lifestyle stuff, or people who have partners who DO take labels and roles very seriously.

Do you ever worry about whether you're behaving properly given your "role"?