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phoenixchild -> RE: Instruction, correction, discipline/punishment (1/20/2014 6:28:23 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
I can see the instruction, correction, discipline/punishment thing when training a noob. Training newcomers can be exciting for some. They need lots of instructions and that makes for lots of dynamics and interactions. I am bit older now and don't fair well with training or negotiations. Allow me to explain . . .
I had submissive girl once. She liked to negotiate. Her power struggle was her buzz. But it took her two years to get it through her skull that I wanted brown eggs. She kept buying white ones because they were cheaper. A slave wouldn't override Master's wishes to impose her own budget logic and save 45 cents because 'all eggs are the same to her'. All eggs aren't the same to me and I am worth far more than 45 cents and that is why we aren't together even thought I gave her my best shot.
My current slave bought brown eggs on her 1st shopping trip. Unlike the other girl, I had not specifically asked for brown eggs so I asked her why. She said she got them because they were the kind of eggs she saw in the fridge and presumed I liked them. Good girl, now that is slavecraft. Be observant. Self training. A well trained girl can walk into any situation with anyone and ask her way through it, providing perfect service because she asked the right questions about what they wanted.
I need a slave with people skills, domestic skills, erotic skills, relationship skills and corporate skills. That means she can cook, fuck, suck, entertain, balance the books, keep the house and run corporate projects. Taking TV away for week or laying out some corporal punishment chart like 1 spanking if you're late, 2 spankings if the coffee isn't just so & etc . . . well, that just seems out of place for that level of slavecraft. She *is* slave and her intent is all in the right places. Any training required is the simplest of things like I prefer red or blue . . . which can come through intelligent observation. That sums up my perspectives on training and instructions.
When my slave does fuck up, she screws the pooch and it's in a big way. So I want recompense more than anything. Recompense can look exactly like discipline but it feels different. She is smart enough to know what she did wrong after the fact. She needs no punishment. Disappointing me or fucking up is usually punishment in itself. On occasion she can benefit from my guidance, my training and learning a new perspective on it to avoid a repeat performance. So we can briefly verbalize it to confirm that we stand in the same perspective, the same reality. Then I beat her ass or reprimand her until I feel better, until I feel compensated. Then I call it even, we move on and let it be done. Same thing if I fuck up. We verbally confirm the reality of it and I keep putting band-aids on it until she says she feels compensated.
My one advice about the recompense for infractions is that the person receiving it should clearly communicate what is need to make them feel fully compensated. For example, if the slave is the one hurt, and Master says here is your ice cream cone, now get over it . . . if that truly isn't enough, then damage will be done. Emotional scar tissue builds up over the years and it will make you numb. So never let happen . . . always feel "even with board" whether it is correction, discipline or punishment, make sure that it is fitting for both parties.
You bring up some excellent points. When i am serving someone, i try to quietly observe what He likes, and how He likes it. If i am unsure, then i will ask Him. When i do make a mistake (i am only human, and no matter how hard i try to perfect, i never will be), most of the time i punish myself more than if i had been physically beat. But there are times that even the Dom makes mistakes. Both sides need to remember that the other person is only a human being, and they need to be forgiving of each other. You can not control what another person feels, no matter how hard you try. You may be able to control their reaction to what they are feeling, but the feeling remains theirs. They need to work out those feelings, and if you did something to cause those feelings, then you should see what you can do to try to soothe them - no matter if you are Dom or sub.
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