Little Tommy & Little Johnny Jokes

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Little Tommy & Little Johnny Jokes - 7/5/2006 2:01:12 PM

ADomDoc

Posts: 312
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: San Antonio
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Mrs. Smith was calling on the children in class, one by one, and asking them what their fathers did for a living.
Johnny said, "My dad is a doctor."
Betty said, "My dad is a lawyer."
Billy said, "My dad is a veterinarian."
This went on throughout the class until Mrs. Smith finally got to Tommy, who was trying to ignore the class.
"Tommy?" said Mrs. Smith, "What does your dad do?"
"My dad's dead," said Tommy.
"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that." she replied "What did he do before he died?"
"Oh, he turned blue and shit on the carpet."
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The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
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After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
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President Bush went to Texas to speak to some third graders. He was trying to teach then the meaning of tragedy and he asked if any of them knew what it meant.
   One little boy raised his hand and said "If my sister was playing out in the street and a truck hit her and killed her that would be a tragedy.
   "No," said Billy Jeff, "that would be an accident"
   Then a little girl raised her hand and said "It is when a busload of children were going somewhere and a train hit them and killed them ... that would be a tragedy."
   No, said Dubya, "That would be a terrible loss."
   Then little Johnny in the back of the room raised his hand. "Do you know what a tragedy is?"
   "Yes I do," said Johnny." "It is like when you and Vice President Chaney are in Air Force One and someone sets off a bomb and kills all ya'll"
   "That is right," said Dubya. "How did you come to that?"
   "Well," said Johnny "It wouldn't be an accident and it sure as heck wouldn't be a terrible loss!"
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