directiveerror
Posts: 128
Joined: 11/17/2013
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What makes someone 'bad', intent or inability? At which point does bad become evil? I suppose it is the common belief that one can not be evil for being incapable, we are to always side with the victim. They are pure, innocent... trash. So than it is intent, that fuels the common concept of evil. But intent towards what end? Destruction? Disapproval? Or does the approach not matter in the slightest, is it only the results that choose who is the oppressor? It is a foolish conundrum to even consider. After all good and evil are all just social constructs. They only exist as what the masses define them as. Perhaps that is why I find them so fascinating. To me able to perform the same act again and again and be judged in a different way every time. That is wonderful. The ability of the human mind to build its own ideals, it's own vision of an experience, of a person based not on any variation in the act..... but variation in prior unrelated acts. This is the line upon which I dance, my obsession, my hunger. Judge me, lest you in turn be judged.
Sitting on a concrete barrier, kicking up my heels. Cigarette in one hand lollipop in the other, the symbols of death and youth co-mingling in my less than superficial existence. Toys to represent the chaos my mind will shape around your reality.
I was making a decision. Stir things up a bit, or let this content feeling warm me until it turns to boredom pushing on bitterness. The smile filling my mind spreads across my face as I jump down from the wall. Contentment only becomes happiness when it's mixed with suffering. A skip in my step, I take the path less traveled.
I spot my targets, like a pedophile homing in on a playground. A group of guys playing football, drinking in their yards. These “live your life on your front porch” type neighborhoods make it too easy. None of them over 30, babes in the woods. I shuffle by, skittish glances lingering just a little too long, shy smiles. The ball was over thrown, forcing the catcher into my path. I wonder if they plan this out as well or if it's instinctual cooperation? He manages to pull himself together from the catch just fine bringing himself closer than necessary. That “i'll eat you” grin girls know so well and a pat of the ball, to disguise in part the intentional flexing of his shirtless form. I stifled my laughter. I was too caught up in my own thoughts to even hear the opening line, one of his friends helped out calling over “you want to play with us” they passed some chuckles between them as I began my response “i'm not really very good at sports”, “oh” the one close to me said leaning in closer “i'm sure we can find something you would enjoy” I let myself blush, leading too strongly would only ruin the fun. “oh come on man stop teasing her, come here hun have a drink” I gave a quick glance around and approached the porch. The talking and drinking continued for a few minutes before the 'catcher' came and sat on the arm of my chair, leaning toward me and looping his finger through the band around my neck. “whats this all about, are you a dog?” everyone quieted up for a second leaning in, “of course, don't I look like one? Woof!” they all chuckled and relaxed a bit. All except for the one with a finger against my neck, surely he felt my heart beat quicken. His tone grew more serious as he declared “if you are a dog than you should show us your tail” “i left it at home” the statement was in fact true but for their sake it worked either way. I stood up, his hand still looped under the leather “oh come on just a little peak, from here it looks quite nice” he said as he pulled me against him hugging his arms around my chest. I relaxed into them, clinging slightly before I made my attempt to pull away. It was enough. He brought a hand down between my legs as I wiggled “tsk tsk a skirt and no panties? You are a bad girl” “i'm a dog remember” I said as I struggled more aggressively. The others chimed back in at this point one walking over “i think she called herself a bitch” he grabbed a fist full of my hair tugging backwards he looked at the tag around my neck “pandora? Is that a warning not to open your box?” the snarky laughter seems redundant at this point. The one holding me said “not like it hasn't been opened before” as he pushed a finger into me. I let out a whimper allowing my eyes to break contact with the one holding my head drifting downward “you sure get wet for a bitch” I snapped back up pulling with enough force to release myself from the penetration only to be dragged down by the one holding my head. The other stood up, wiping his finger off onto my shirt in an annoyed fashion. “you know, I would have let you up if you had said please that wasn't nice.” he lumbered slowly toward the door, walking into the house, leaving it open behind him. The one still holding me loosened his grip dropping it to my neck nudging me forward. I knew if I was going to change my mind now was the time. I stood firm, he gripped and pushed me through the doorway, one or two others following.
There was uncertainty in his eyes, pacing “i didn't like that, it was just a little fun you got aggressive” I pulled again, tugging against where I was still held, now a hand wrapped around each arm. “still?” nodding his head slowly at me, eyebrows raised. “you don't have to be unreasonable you can go if you want to” “sorry” I was laying it on a little thick, but that was the only response I could think of at the time. “good girl” he patted me on the head and placed his hand back between my legs this time shoving in 3 fingers, I grimaced dropping my head to to quiet the groan. In that moment there was a definite shift in his eyes, I had placed intent and his mind was made up. “no, you aren't sorry. But you will be. You will formally apologize to all of my friends for being a bitch, won't you?” I stayed quiet pushing him to lift my chin until our gazes met. There I offer no more leniency. No more clues that I would secede. There was the break, he pulled out his cock as his friend shoved me to the floor leg braced against my back as he pulled up on my arms. He knelt in front of me pulling my head towards him, I let a look of defiance rise in my eyes “you don't want to test me slut, open.” my mouth stayed clenched, a hand dug into my cheeks the other over my nose. I parted my lips slightly to breath the pressure from his fingers grinding my cheeks into my teeth was drawing a little blood. The look in my eyes did not change. “she wants to play games, chris” “looks that way doesn't it” he stood back up pacing once before grabbing my face again and saying “you have one more chance to open your mouth.” hardly a second passed before he nodded and the pressure of chris's leg was removed from my back, he flipped over pulling me with him. His arms over mine but enough time for me to kick myself free enough to draw attention from the others to help hold my legs down until he could wrap his around mine pulling them apart. “hey guys hold her for a sec, I haven't even taken my dick out yet” I tried to get free at the transition moment but there wasn't enough of a window. A little adjusting and I felt the hot skin against the small of my back, when I was pulled up slightly and it popped out, the head coming to rest against my ass hole. I started struggling more, exerting myself this time but I was held too securely at this point. The other stepped over straddling the two of us “should have opened the easy way” he pulled my head up even with his crotch and rubbed my mouth against his cock as his friend took the cue to push into my ass, groaned keeping my teeth clenched then was slugged in the side of the face, my jaw loosened enough for his fingers to pry their way through, digging my cheeks into the gap between my teeth, widening until he slammed into my mouth holding my head against the base, his cock down my throat, his friend pounding into my ass even as I started to lurch for air. There was little struggling I could manage, I relaxed and he pulled his grip off. Leaving me gasping for breath as he climbed off and positioned himself between our legs ramming into my cunt, joining his friend. I let out a breath that most assuredly came across as a sob as I attempted to arch away from the assault. “dude i'm about to nut” “go ahead we'll switch off” one of the bystanders laid down next to him. I tried to prep for the trade off, another attempt to break free. But that last deep thrust into my ass made my legs weaken, dazed enough that i don't even remember the switch. Only that now I was on all fours lying against number 3 as chris came over to my mouth to clean off and the 'catcher' positioned himself behind my ass. There was no bracing myself for that, my muscles were no longer playing along and he had no intention of letting up. This position allowed for more momentum and he dug into me with a ferocity that can only be found in those attempting to prove something. I'm sure I was probably moaning, screaming, something but I cant remember any sound I was too gone, the rest just faded as I felt myself starting to slip under.
I woke up being slapped in the face, my arms lifted and I noticed other bruises scattered around. It was dark, had to have been several hours at least. “you are fine, sorry about your clothes heres some money to replace them. You need a ride somewhere?” I grabbed the cash. I wouldn't have been allowed to go without accepting it. It was his means of convincing himself it was consensual and I was fine with that. It was after all. I had orchestrated it. It was my fault. I made my attempt to walk to the door, legs buckling once before I forced myself upright. It was about a mile walk back, in pain and covered in every bodily secretion I could think of, what little clothing I had to start now torn and barely functioning for its intended purpose. It makes one think. Maybe the only reason I do this is to try to convince myself I have some form of control. Plan it out, let it happen.... then just convince myself it's a good thing so that I can deny that I hated it so much in the past. That recreating is the only way I have to take back everything that had been taken. I let myself cry, thats what this is for after all. The quiet, the dark, a realization. An admittance of an unwanted truth in a time when i'm alone and it wont be used against me.
I reached the threshold, the doorway at which point I knew I would be confronted. It took less than a moment to regain my composure, stuff it back into a crevice of my mind. 'there is no weakness, there is only the present'. it's just a game, no need to think about such foolishness. The smile was back on my face as I opened the door.
This is the moment I worship, that disappointment that gives me chills. He didn't ask where I had been I don't think there was a need. I battled over whether to say now or later that it was my fault. Impulsive actions deserve impulsive responses. “it was my doing” if he was going to tell me to leave I hope I could shower first. That being the first thought that popped into my head following the disclosure helped with the smirk that drove the assertion home. He grabbed me and looked me in the eyes, not certain it was a gaze I wanted to meet. 'no, do not allow those thoughts'. I glared back with the light of amusement placed in my eyes.... for as long as I could before I felt them fall. 'have you really fallen so far, do not falter'. I was tired and really wanted a shower. He pulled me to the bathroom and turned on the water, I threw what was left of the clothing to the floor and stepped in. if it was cold I don't recall, perhaps it was, because I remember drawing in a few wavering breaths.
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just some porn.... or something of that nature... - 
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