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LadyPact -> RE: Just not sure. (1/27/2014 12:30:38 PM)
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This sounds entirely too much like bait and switch to Me. Basically, you baited this person into a relationship with a person who presented as not kinky so that once you're in the relationship, you can use that footing to switch to the kinky person that you really are. Now that some emotional attachment has probably developed with this person, the hope is that now you will use that attachment to coerce them into engaging in your kink. (Bait and switch is the same term that is used for the reverse as well. When the sincerely non kinky person provides kink in the beginning of the relationship, but they decide they are "no longer into it" once the relationship is established.)
In other words, yeah, you basically didn't tell the truth. You put yourself forward as somebody that you're not in hopes that you can change her into somebody that you want her to be, rather than who she is. Personally, that stuff about someone having "Dominant tendencies" (or sub tendencies) when talking about somebody who isn't kinky, but the person in the relationship with them wants them to be, seems like you don't really want who that person is, but who you can turn them into. I've never liked it much when folks do that. Everybody should be appreciated for exactly who they are and have the right to be who they are, even if what they want to be is vanilla.
Some people need kink and/or D/s to be happy. Other folks are kink optional. (Personally, I'm the latter.) If you are the former, OP, I'd suggest that you come clean before continuing to play with this person's emotions. If by some luck she doesn't think you were dishonest and agrees to give it a shot for you, I'm with the other women who say that chastity isn't the first kink to introduce. You're in the honeymoon phase (new relationship energy phase for poly folks) of your relationship. It's when you're in that stage of a lot of sexual energy and she's not going to feel terribly fulfilled by someone who wants to take that off of the table.
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