vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (Full Version)

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sentualfemdom -> vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/3/2014 11:44:14 AM)

I seem to be having difficulty making a post from my phone, so if I have posted this already I apologize. My husband and I are currently living several hundred miles apart. In the past, we have experimented with and thoroughly enjoyed a dominant submissive lifestyle. even though we are apart, I would like to bring this aspect back into our relationship. my husband is also excited about the prospect of venturing back into it. the real issue lies in my la ck of experience as a DOM. my husband and I have very little experience other than with each other, and no unconventional experience other than what we have tried together. I would love to hear tips, advice, or experiences from others who have been in a similar situation ( dom/sub while apart). Thank you in advance for any input you might have




OsideGirl -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/3/2014 11:52:00 AM)

At the top of this forum is a sticky with a list of books that forum members recommend.




Rawni -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/3/2014 1:53:51 PM)

Sentualfemdom, First of all let me congratulate you and your hubby/subby for marrying so very young and still being together. Seven years is a long time, especially when you marry at seventeen. Can you tell me what this means? It is in your profile and I am a little confused and wouldn't want to say the wrong thing here.

My 'subby' and I have a beer invented with domination, to mention, and bondage in the past and both found it very rewarding.





SpyUnderCover -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/3/2014 5:28:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

Sentualfemdom, First of all let me congratulate you and your hubby/subby for marrying so very young and still being together. Seven years is a long time, especially when you marry at seventeen. Can you tell me what this means? It is in your profile and I am a little confused and wouldn't want to say the wrong thing here.

My 'subby' and I have a beer invented with domination, to mention, and bondage in the past and both found it very rewarding.



Hmm ... Perhaps a bit of auto-correcting? I can't imagine what "domination beer" would taste like ...

Spy




Blonderfluff -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/3/2014 5:32:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpyUnderCover


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

Sentualfemdom, First of all let me congratulate you and your hubby/subby for marrying so very young and still being together. Seven years is a long time, especially when you marry at seventeen. Can you tell me what this means? It is in your profile and I am a little confused and wouldn't want to say the wrong thing here.

My 'subby' and I have a beer invented with domination, to mention, and bondage in the past and both found it very rewarding.



Hmm ... Perhaps a bit of auto-correcting? I can't imagine what "domination beer" would taste like ...

Spy

I'll bet the flavor is very over-powering




Coupleator -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/3/2014 6:29:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff
I'll bet the flavor is very over-powering


And a bit harsh.




sentualfemdom -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/4/2014 7:11:54 AM)

Good grief it does seem that I have been auto corrected. I am having quite a bit of difficulty using this site from my phone. I have an older refurbished smartphone and it does not work very well. I cannot see what I am typing until after I am finished, and am having trouble editing after the fact. I was trying to say that we have experimented with bondage and domination in the past.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

Sentualfemdom, First of all let me congratulate you and your hubby/subby for marrying so very young and still being together. Seven years is a long time, especially when you marry at seventeen. Can you tell me what this means? It is in your profile and I am a little confused and wouldn't want to say the wrong thing here.

My 'subby' and I have a beer invented with domination, to mention, and bondage in the past and both found it very rewarding.






ChatteParfaitt -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/4/2014 7:24:30 AM)

It sort of depends on what you're into, but here are some things I have done.

Have him buy 5 pairs of silky women's panties in five different colors, for each day of the week he goes to work. Every time he goes to the bathroom, he is to think of you AND use it as a reinforcement for something else you are doing together. You could have him say a mantra to Himself (my sub wrote his own about how he feels about being obedient and pleasing me).

We used the different color panties to reinforce different days of the week in which he was to try and work on various things, like getting in touch with his feminine side, being less passive-aggressive, etc. Whatever the two of you decide you want to work on.

Since we were working on his self-esteem, I had him write my name on his toes with the order that every time he walked over himself, he was walking on ME.

Mine has to ask daily for permission to come, which I give maybe twice a week or less. On his birthday or any other reason I like I might give him more or even a 24 hour period of unlimited orgasms (he likes that one).

He repeats his mantra upon awakening and before he goes to bed at night.

This past week he was given a new task, since he's very much a workaholic. He is to write down when he gets to work and when he leaves for a month. I want him to see on paper how many hours he spends at work at a job he plans to retire from in 18 months.

See what I mean? The tasks need to be tailored for him and also keep the two of you close and connected.

I hope this helped, CP







RedMagic1 -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/4/2014 7:25:49 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sentualfemdom

I seem to be having difficulty making a post from my phone, so if I have posted this already I apologize. My husband and I are currently living several hundred miles apart. In the past, we have experimented with and thoroughly enjoyed a dominant submissive lifestyle. even though we are apart, I would like to bring this aspect back into our relationship. my husband is also excited about the prospect of venturing back into it. the real issue lies in my la ck of experience as a DOM. my husband and I have very little experience other than with each other, and no unconventional experience other than what we have tried together. I would love to hear tips, advice, or experiences from others who have been in a similar situation ( dom/sub while apart). Thank you in advance for any input you might have

One possibility is to control his orgasms. Use Teamviewer to have access to his computer, and then install parental controls, so he can only view porn when you authorize it. Then, in order to come, he has to do things that please you, which might be sexual, or might not. You could give him a honey-do list for the house while you're away, and he shows you they are done using photos on his phone, or using a webcam.

Then maybe he comes only in your presence, approximately every few days, or whatever schedule you think he can stay honest with, and only when you give permission.




sentualfemdom -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/5/2014 3:44:07 AM)

I started implementing this as of last night. I informed him that he is not to look at any porn without first getting permission from me and that he may not touch himself without my permission. thank you for the great suggestion
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


quote:

ORIGINAL: sentualfemdom

I seem to be having difficulty making a post from my phone, so if I have posted this already I apologize. My husband and I are currently living several hundred miles apart. In the past, we have experimented with and thoroughly enjoyed a dominant submissive lifestyle. even though we are apart, I would like to bring this aspect back into our relationship. my husband is also excited about the prospect of venturing back into it. the real issue lies in my la ck of experience as a DOM. my husband and I have very little experience other than with each other, and no unconventional experience other than what we have tried together. I would love to hear tips, advice, or experiences from others who have been in a similar situation ( dom/sub while apart). Thank you in advance for any input you might have

One possibility is to control his orgasms. Use Teamviewer to have access to his computer, and then install parental controls, so he can only view porn when you authorize it. Then, in order to come, he has to do things that please you, which might be sexual, or might not. You could give him a honey-do list for the house while you're away, and he shows you they are done using photos on his phone, or using a webcam.

Then maybe he comes only in your presence, approximately every few days, or whatever schedule you think he can stay honest with, and only when you give permission.




sentualfemdom -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/5/2014 3:47:52 AM)

This helped a lot thank you. I want to work with him on building his confidence, his comfort around other people, and controlling his emotions so I would like to come up with some tasks for him that will line up with those goals.
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

It sort of depends on what you're into, but here are some things I have done.

Have him buy 5 pairs of silky women's panties in five different colors, for each day of the week he goes to work. Every time he goes to the bathroom, he is to think of you AND use it as a reinforcement for something else you are doing together. You could have him say a mantra to Himself (my sub wrote his own about how he feels about being obedient and pleasing me).

We used the different color panties to reinforce different days of the week in which he was to try and work on various things, like getting in touch with his feminine side, being less passive-aggressive, etc. Whatever the two of you decide you want to work on.

Since we were working on his self-esteem, I had him write my name on his toes with the order that every time he walked over himself, he was walking on ME.

Mine has to ask daily for permission to come, which I give maybe twice a week or less. On his birthday or any other reason I like I might give him more or even a 24 hour period of unlimited orgasms (he likes that one).

He repeats his mantra upon awakening and before he goes to bed at night.

This past week he was given a new task, since he's very much a workaholic. He is to write down when he gets to work and when he leaves for a month. I want him to see on paper how many hours he spends at work at a job he plans to retire from in 18 months.

See what I mean? The tasks need to be tailored for him and also keep the two of you close and connected.

I hope this helped, CP








ChatteParfaitt -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/5/2014 3:53:22 AM)

Your very welcome. Those sounds like good goals to work on, just remember it could take months for some of them, even longer.

The main thing is to use your power over him to reinforce what you consider improved behavior.




sentualfemdom -> RE: vitrual dom tips? looking for advice for my subby and i (2/5/2014 4:54:00 AM)

He is attractive, but does not know it himself. So one thing I think I'm going to have him do is take pictures of him self throughout the day, and send them to me with a positive comment about himself.
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Your very welcome. Those sounds like good goals to work on, just remember it could take months for some of them, even longer.

The main thing is to use your power over him to reinforce what you consider improved behavior.




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