RE: Are you a Slave?

RE: Are you a Slave? (Full Version)

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Toysinbabeland -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/19/2014 10:07:31 PM)
I love being a slave, have loved being simply submissive, but then again I chose who I am a slave for. It was a choice, not forced. Forced slavery would not entice me at all.

littlewonder -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 6:00:14 PM)
I admit, we don't really do the whole consensual thing in our relationship. It's just not even something that comes up with us and not something I ever even think about. If that means I've been brainwashed or co-dependent or whatever, I'm perfectly fine with that. I like to call it love. I mean really, do you ever hear of vanilla couples talking about consensuality like we do? Why not? Because they love one another and both change and do things for the other because of that love for one another. And no, bdsm isn't any different from vanilla.

shiftyw -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 6:56:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I admit, we don't really do the whole consensual thing in our relationship. It's just not even something that comes up with us and not something I ever even think about. If that means I've been brainwashed or co-dependent or whatever, I'm perfectly fine with that. I like to call it love. I mean really, do you ever hear of vanilla couples talking about consensuality like we do? Why not? Because they love one another and both change and do things for the other because of that love for one another. And no, bdsm isn't any different from vanilla. Yes all the time, honestly. Sometimes more so than in my own relationship. ETA- Although I don't think you're brainwashed or any of that nonsense, hence the bolding.

littlewonder -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 7:19:27 PM)
really? I never have heard it, not even once. The couples I know just go about their daily lives without ever seeming to think about it. Their relationships just are.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 7:23:58 PM)
LW how many arguments do you hear over the trash, sox, and other such silliness. It always turns into a debate of "I worked all day, blah blah blah" and "I cleaned all day, chasing kids, blah blah blah". I'm sure it is far from your realm of reason, because your dynamic with Kana works well for you. So the odd nilla bickering is tuned out. Jus sayin Exiled

OsideGirl -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 7:30:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant LW how many arguments do you hear over the trash, sox, and other such silliness. It always turns into a debate of "I worked all day, blah blah blah" and "I cleaned all day, chasing kids, blah blah blah". Yeah, a lot of my vanilla couple friends tend to have a lot more arguments that are usually the result of a power struggle. I think because we talk about dynamics and consent, we have less problems in that arena. We've had 2 arguments in the past year.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 7:37:24 PM)
That is why vanilla is so... Um... Life sucking for me. I like firm ground, and am flexible on many things, but unshakable on my core beliefs. I do not argue and fight, I put everything on the table and that is that. If that becomes a contest, I crib a line from kana, sayonara. Jus sayin Exiled

shiftyw -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 7:40:56 PM)
Yah, see I don't really have D/s outside the bedroom, and consent surrounding who has to do the dishes is a constant struggle.

littlewonder -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 7:45:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant LW how many arguments do you hear over the trash, sox, and other such silliness. It always turns into a debate of "I worked all day, blah blah blah" and "I cleaned all day, chasing kids, blah blah blah". I'm sure it is far from your realm of reason, because your dynamic with Kana works well for you. So the odd nilla bickering is tuned out. Jus sayin Exiled Sure, all relationships have arguments...even the gasp bdsm ones. Most of the relationships I know really don't fight like that. They usually just go to work, come home, do the chores, whoever has the time or ability, take care of the kids and go to bed. Usually not much time left in the day for much of anything else. Most couples are just don't have the time to sit down and say "I consent to this. You consent to that" like I hear in bdsm all the time. I don't know. I don't see much difference between the relationships here and those in vanilla. If people saw Master and I there would be absolutely no sign of bdsm because honestly, our day is pretty much structured just like above as a vanilla. The only relationships where I heard the bickering are the ones that never lasted longer than a couple of years at the most but had nothing to do with consent and everything to do with simple incompatibilities.

littlewonder -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 7:46:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw Yah, see I don't really have D/s outside the bedroom, and consent surrounding who has to do the dishes is a constant struggle. Buy a dishwasher and you won't ever have that problem ever again! [;)] Seriously....5 minutes to load them in and done! I don't know what I did all those years without one!

shiftyw -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 7:52:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw Yah, see I don't really have D/s outside the bedroom, and consent surrounding who has to do the dishes is a constant struggle. Buy a dishwasher and you won't ever have that problem ever again! [;)] Seriously....5 minutes to load them in and done! I don't know what I did all those years without one! We are still renters. I'm a millennial. No hopes for home ownership here haha. But seriously...I wouldn't consider "run of the mill anal" BDSM. Or Top/bottom, WHATEVER. So when my friend has "run of the mill anal" with his wife, you better bet my friend asks his wifes permission before charging in there unannounced. Whereas in my relationship...he doesn't have to ask beyond really that first time, so to me, consent is actually discussed more in my friend's bedroom than in mine.

ARIES83 -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 8:02:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant LW how many arguments do you hear over the trash, sox, and other such silliness. It always turns into a debate of "I worked all day, blah blah blah" and "I cleaned all day, chasing kids, blah blah blah". Yeah, a lot of my vanilla couple friends tend to have a lot more arguments that are usually the result of a power struggle. I think because we talk about dynamics and consent, we have less problems in that arena. We've had 2 arguments in the past year. I never really thought about it that way, but I do notice that it seems like the couples I know are constantly having arguments. Where as I can go years without having an argument!

pg4g -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 8:47:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Most couples are just don't have the time to sit down and say "I consent to this. You consent to that" like I hear in bdsm all the time. I think we discuss it a lot due to the nature of pain, control, and the fact that we often are blurring our consent lines. And that's fine. But ensuring we don't cross them is important to a lot of people, including myself. Keeping things safe in both a physical and psychological sense is extremely important. I don't want to see abuse under the guise of BDSM that's all [:)]. In our relationships themselves we just say what our limits are, and then that's that. And that's all the discussion about consent needed.

FieryOpal -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/20/2014 10:13:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I admit, we don't really do the whole consensual thing in our relationship. It's just not even something that comes up with us and not something I ever even think about. If that means I've been brainwashed or co-dependent or whatever, I'm perfectly fine with that. I like to call it love. I mean really, do you ever hear of vanilla couples talking about consensuality like we do? Why not? Because they love one another and both change and do things for the other because of that love for one another. And no, bdsm isn't any different from vanilla. Enduring love is always a game changer. And so is the emotional maturity factor, making the difference between co-dependence and interdependence, childish mental game-playing and maintaining open lines of two-way communication. Then there's a matter of personal integrity within relationships, which keeps people honest with one another and with themselves. When these are in place and functioning properly, neither D/s nor vanilla couples should get caught up in major and/or unresolvable power struggles. A nod to OsideGirl for bringing up power struggles that couples engage in, because I was thinking more along the lines of TPE gone south, where the power of love is absent from the equation or where intense bonding becomes a one-sided affair.

Galacia -> RE: Are you a Slave? (2/21/2014 10:35:27 AM)
It's fun to take orders.

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