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RE: Poly Families - 4/22/2004 7:24:12 AM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
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ZenMaster,
Thank You for the site, never knew it exsisted.

Have a wonderful day Sir!


stormi

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to ZenMaster)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Poly Families - 4/22/2004 7:25:25 AM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline
LOL..... dread,
was there a nerve touched or what???

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Poly Families - 4/22/2004 7:33:34 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

when you read the site that ZEN
put up then maybe you will better
understand what I was saying from
the beginning about jealosy. Duhhh.
You peeps gotta remember My Lifestyle
position to better understand why I act
and react the way I do. ZEN here has
said the same thing I have been from
the beginning with a link and He gets
thanked. LOL!! Perceptions can be so
amazing when addressed by people of
different Lifestyle Practices and ways.
Zen here was just being, well ZEN as
this is what ZEN does best. ~wink~
I had passed on that link allready with
sum others to the original postee Zen.
~smiles~ But I do agree it should of
been posted here as well, ThankYou.
~pouts~ now You took all My fun away.
~snickers~

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Poly Families - 4/22/2004 9:01:58 AM   
londonswitch


Posts: 77
Joined: 3/1/2004
Status: offline
Well, I'll do it! Thank you for your input and perception. And also thank you for such a readable post both in your text and that sexy royal-blue colour. Or am I just fetishising memories of my field hockey knickers in high school? MMM, I'm drooling, yes, it's a fetishistic memory. Me, tight thick royal blue knickers, nailed boots, a heavy stick and focused rage.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Poly Families - 4/23/2004 10:48:02 AM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline
dread your lifestyle so you call it is one of ....
misconceptions from what is going around.

word of you had been around long before
the post... and trust it was not a good word

when education is claimed it would be nice
to see it to the max as well as a touch of class
but then it was a dread moment who could
expect more?

done!

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to londonswitch)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Poly Families - 4/23/2004 1:41:26 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Sandy,

I just wanted to congratulate you on becoming a superuser, but, boy, did I pick the wrong post to notice. I'll just duck quickly and hope I don't get hit by the debris

sleet,

You can add one more person to be jealous of.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to EStrict)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Poly Families - 4/23/2004 1:44:54 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Just curious,

Is peeps another term that is derogatory but Dread finds accurate and might not mean offense by?

The supplicant

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Poly Families - 4/25/2004 4:27:47 AM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stormiKnightBEAR

dread your lifestyle so you call it is one of ....
misconceptions from what is going around.

word of you had been around long before
the post... and trust it was not a good word

when education is claimed it would be nice
to see it to the max as well as a touch of class
but then it was a dread moment who could
expect more?

done!



Yanno this is now the second long thread I've read where the person that is SO angst ridden over *everyone else's* alleged "judgments" doing the very thing that they seem to be getting all riled up over.

This entire post seems to be nothing but an attack - nothing positive or constructive or aiding good discussion anywhere or at any angle I could read.

stormi - I'm not really sure about all the nuances at play here - but so far to me you seem *really* angst-ridden and quick to fire. In the other thread I only saw inyouagain saying nice positive things at first - some which were echoed by others - and the things you jumped down his throat for, could easly have been read 4 different ways than the way you evidently took them. I thought it was interesting that you repeatedly state he offered nothing constructive and positive when I saw quite a few things that seemed to be very positive, and then read where you thanked other people for saying some of the very things he had included in his posts.

I seem to be seeing the same things in this thread here - the initial responses seemed to be quite mellow - the only judgments I personally saw were only there if someone decided to project one into them - sure they *could* be read that way - just as they could so very easily be read in a quite nuetral matter of fact way.

I will say that after the responding folks got fired upon it appeared that yeah they fired back in kind, but it's weird to see you thank others for the very things that were said from the get go by the folks you seem pissed at.

Maybe instead of assuming the worst when you read something, you might ask if they *meant* that to convey a personal attack ... *before* you fire off all angry and hell-bent? Perhaps they simply didn't type it well, or didn't even imagine it could be read in the manner with which you read it. That possiblity is not only highly likely, it tends to be the number one reason why folks flare - because they read far more into something than what the poster meant to actually convey.

I don't really know why everyone seems to automatically read inyouagain's posts as personal attacks - perhaps I haven't seen enough of the past dramas, or am unaware of the politics that have been going on ( which I admit is highly likely, LOL! ) but really I didn't see that much finger pointing from his posts to you until *after* you went off on a rant and started slinging some mud.

Perhaps it would be a good thing to merely clarify that you are correctly comprehending what someone is posting in a rational calm and courteous manner, giving them the same benefit of the doubt you'd like extended to yourself, until they confirm that yes, indeed, they were in fact being insulting or attacking you or being negative, etc.

Seems it would lend itself to helping a more positive communication flow happen rather than shutting it down to a shouting match, to me at any rate.

Just some thoughts off the top o me brain.

And oh yeah, before I forget, JMO, FWIIW and all that normal disclaimer stuff. lol

~ShadeDiva, who happens to be *quite* fire-proof, hehehe!

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Poly Families - 4/25/2004 3:25:18 PM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline
fact is ma'am....

when attacked and two of the three of us have been by this person.
then i play by the rules and state fact.

HOWEVER, you are right.... i stooped to that level in which someone
else had.. and for that i hold regret.

For being honest i do not.

Thank You for pointing it out.

stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to ShadeDiva)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Poly Families - 4/25/2004 11:03:38 PM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stormiKnightBEAR
fact is ma'am....

when attacked and two of the three of us have been by this person.
then i play by the rules and state fact.

HOWEVER, you are right.... i stooped to that level in which someone
else had.. and for that i hold regret.

For being honest i do not.

Thank You for pointing it out.

stormi
property of Master Bear

*smile* I am relieved you saw that I was not trying to be negative - I kinda wondered if I was going to be blasted as well, *chortle*.

To be honest I find that most attacks seem to really be merely a cause of misunderstandings that no one bothered to see were there. I am accused regularly of personally attacking folks, but when I start addressing *why* they came away from my posts with that perspective when it wasn't remotely intended - it usually turns out they read something wrong, didn't actually read, or didn't bother to allow themselves to comprehend what they were reading, or started porjecting their own insecurities and issues into a text that had very little to do with their lives or baggage at all.

I guess that as I grow older, I see more places where issues arise that could be ceased immediately - if one simply took the time and effort to clear it up from the get go. If I start getting reactions of a flaming or attacking nature from someone - rather than go off half cocked as it were - I try to determine WHY this reaction is spewing forth, and if the actual intent behind was meant of a negative nature BEFORE I decide to issue a retort. If it is either made clear or announced that the agenda is to engage me in some sort of altercation, it is then that I start thinking the following:

hmmmm... do I use this person for a venting tool, and unleash upon them what they seek? What *I* get from this if I do? What - if any - are the benefits from going to town on them? Are they seeking an outburst? Why? How would my reaction benefit them to the point that they would openly seek a drumming from me? Does this in some form feed their melodramatic tendencies? If so, do I get enough out of expending my energy in this fashion to decide it's worth feeding them that? And so on.

Turns out by the time I sift through all that, I am rational, I am calm, I know why I'm doing whatever it is I decided I would do, I know what my purpose and goal on my decided action is, and I pretty much have an inkling of what I'm going to say.

By virtue of that *alone* I tend to be far more armed and competant in a conflict than they obviously have shown themselves to be, and I can usually whomp them fairly easily and kill it right there, or if I've decided it isn't worth my time or energy, simply ignore it and move onto something more pleasant and worthwhile, leaving them to stew, not broaching it at all. That can indeed be worse than anything else you could muster up after all, not even deeming them worthwhile of a single letter typed in response to whatever spewage they are spouting off, because it so doesn't matter or phase you at any level at all, and you are just fine that they feel as they do, you don't care one iota at all.

That alone can deflate a person's "war-balloons" lol.

Just because you are attacked doesn't mean that attack needs to be repaid - that is the other person bringing THEIR baggage onto you for YOU to carry for them. When you take them up on that - if you are purely reacting and not deciding to do this with a conscious understanding of WHY you are behaving or doing as such then, yeah you are sorta being manipulated, in a sense.

Truth is good, but truth doesn't always require a mouthpiece, either. Something I am still working on and learning myself, lol.

If someone's opinions don't matter, then sometimes it is best that we don't react like they *do*.

Personally - and this is really my opinion here - it shouldn't have taken anyone to point that out - other than your owner(s). Why your owner didn't decide to request that you temper your reactions only they can say. I am a tad surprised that they didn't, but then that's their call to make, not mine, after all.

I suppose I see it as part of my job - nay better phrased as responsiblity perhaps - as a dominant is to help my submissives grow and guide them to help them become the most evolved human they can be while under my direction, which would include them being reined in when they start stooping below what I expect of them and what they expect of themselves.

But then again, I am also always sort of the odd duck. LOL.

JMT

~ShadeDiva

< Message edited by ShadeDiva -- 4/25/2004 11:06:29 PM >


_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Poly Families - 4/26/2004 3:31:40 AM   
inyouagain


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Thank you ShadeDiva for pointing this out from an objective viewpoint.

No further comments.

Inyouagain

_____________________________

Careful with that axe, Eugene

(in reply to ShadeDiva)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Poly Families - 4/26/2004 6:27:04 AM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
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Laughing!!!

Actually, when discussing your post with Master and stormi's as well, while Master knows stormi and her reactions, He knew where stormi's point was and understood. But you see
there is this joke among stormi's leather family and Master as well as His wife, that stormi is a firecracker at the keyboard. Meaning stormi calls things exactly as she sees them.

One thing stormi has had to do in a recent post such as the slave registery is be a little more....... detailed in how the thought process came about. When feeling attacked by the same two people over and over.... stormi's temper rises to the occassion.

stormi is owned by only one... Master Bear... aka KnightStorm or Temji. And to be honest
most of the time, stormi will run things by Master before posting. However it's like it was
stated yesterday in O/our BDSM poly group discussion. In any poly home, on any given day, there can be upset/issues to deal with, however.... don't jack with stormi's family, cuz no matter how pissed or upset she or anyone else is.... she will, for lack of a better term,
*take you down or help you wish you'd not said did whatever it was that happened*.

See in stormi's mind it simple.... and after saying this to Master one night, it's not a patented saying...... " there is an I in family however, the thing to remember is that there is an O in poly. Meaning as I there are wants and needs, but as in O it's all of us linked full circle and bound together" We CHOOSE to be poly, because the 3 of us DO care for each other. We are not perfect. However, our relationship, our home, is a working art piece that will continue to grow and develope. We are ALL 3 in this for the long haul. And it's more than just sex or bdsm play. We have found the secret, and it is simple..............
the absolute joy in being together and laughing, be it His wife and stormi *teaming* up to give Master a hard time, or He and one of us to give the other a hard time.

Ma'am, stormi must say in closing, that she really does enjoy your post. You are like Master, you make stormi think! Thank You for that.

*smiling* and as for the ones that spark that firecracker.. they are now on ignore. No more firecracker for this girl~

With Respect and Honor,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to ShadeDiva)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Poly Families - 4/26/2004 7:50:16 AM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
I applaud you for that, stormi, and have directed Mine to do the same as he is a "firecracker" also, lol. It is all good

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Poly Families - 4/26/2004 9:02:19 AM   
inyouagain


Posts: 418
Joined: 1/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stormiKnightBEAR
We have found the secret, and it is simple..............
the absolute joy in being together and laughing, be it His wife and stormi *teaming* up to give Master a hard time, or He and one of us to give the other a hard time.

I am actually happy to see these two threads seem to have come full circle and now accentuating positive aspects of your existing poly family, which was a big impetus of my post in the other thread that caused friction. The other thread seemed to start out on a very negative note of frustration and did not seem to reflect the joy now displayed in your comments.

Best wishes in future searches and congratulations on your existing joy, may it be long-lived for you and all members of your existing poly family.

Inyouagain

_____________________________

Careful with that axe, Eugene

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Poly Families - 4/26/2004 6:32:38 PM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
Nothing wrong with being a firecracker - I am something of a spitfire myself.

I guess for me it's a personal agenda for my work in progress I term my internal evolution/growth. I guess I respond more positively to someone with a ton of spunk when they are wielding that facet of themselves and still maintaining full control instead of allowing that nature to rule them or their communications and interactions with others. It's the non-thinking reacting that I seek to rein in, not the spirit itself, and certainly not of those I dominate.

On the comment about *calling them as I see it* - I can relate.

I am totally blunt. I also do not lie. Pretty much never. I am usually challenged on that by those that say we ALL lie at some point. I disagree. I think it's an option, yes, but never the only one. I think at times it's easier to do so, than to put forth the effort to speak the truth but not bludgeon someone with it, and so, since humans tend to be lazy creatures, we opt for the easy *out* - the white lie. I disagree that we all *have* to lie at some point - and one of the more often touted examples they tend to bring up is the well-known situation when a friend asks you if the dress she is wearing looks nice, but it is a hideous creation spun from the gaping maws of dæmons from the tacky realm. They all of course ask, if I would *actually* tell her the truth, it's grotesque and hideous, or if I'd lie and tell her she looked "nice."

When I respond when saying I'd tell her the truth - they invariably scoff at the mere notion that someone wouldn't choose the easy out and hand her a patented white lie. I then get the opportunity to point out that being blunt and honest does not automatically equate being tactless. I don't HAVE to tell her it's absolutely horrid - but I can say quite honestly that the garment does not do her justice and I think the colors drown her out, or the cut doesn't flatter her as it should, or whatever it is that I find about the thing that makes me cringe. I don't HAVE to blurt out OMG you look so FAT, or EEEEEEK that thing makes me dizzy! How could you even out that rag on? But I *can* communicate to her in a polite civil manner what I find about it that I don't like in my opinion, and why I think she ought to go with another choice, and be completely truthful, and never be without tact, or grace, or make her feel stupid or negative about how I conveyed my opinion that she requested.

Friends don't ask us things for us to LIE to them, and I cement the fact that when she asks me for what I think, she gets what she wants - I see no reason why one needs to lie anymore than I see why the truth, while being blunt, needs to be tactless or heartless.

In this manner I guess that's how I am starting to view "telling it like it is" or "calling it as I see it." I slip, don't get me wrong, "Shade Rants" aren't well known for being, well, ah, tender. LOL. But I also know that the same logic needs to apply to even my rants - something I am working on. I see no real reason why "calling it like I see it" automatically needs to be inflammatory or rude. I am sure that one could choose to do that and still remain civil or at least not sounding like they are attacking.

And I'm the first to admit, that if someone throws down the gauntlet at my feet and I have decided to take that gauntlet up, I tend to be pretty damn abrasive and harsh when I'm bluntly calling them out, so to speak. I guess to me, it's the difference between once you have ascertained that someone actually MEANT what they were conveying as being an attack or rude (I consider it gloves off if I decided to take that little matter up and address it) - compared to when you don't actually know if the person MEANT what they communicated as an attack, but you run off on that tangent without clarifying where they meant to be coming from. At that point, I guess I feel if you haven't taken responsibility for your end of the conversation by making sure they mean what you *think* you are understanding them as meaning - and you run off with that all wild and it turns out they weren't meaning that at *all* then the person that dropped the ball - namely the person running off halfcocked about something that wasn't even really conveyed - the fault that the interaction turned negative then lies with them - and not the person who wasn't clearly understood.

I don't think my posts had much to do with being poly - as much as they did about what an individuals goals might be for attaining, toning, and trying to perfect their skills at conveying what they mean to communicate and actually *hearing* what others are trying to relay - and learning to realize that your comprehension or interpretation is capable of being 100% off the mark - and then recognizing when such a situation might possibly be occurring and then seeking to verify of it is and then trying to rectify that situation.

I was speaking more from a personal goal orientation that would aid one wherever they go and whoever they meet, rather than a poly interaction though I can see how it could and would apply in many aspects.

But hey, that's just my view and my goals, others may not see any real or tangible benefit, substance, or concern with any of the above.

As with most of my posts, I tend to post to work things out in a more linear fashion for myself - it's something of a self-actualization application for me in some ways, I think. So yanno, take what ya like, discard the rest, lolol.

And it's funny, in writing this, I do see how far I still have yet to go, *chuckle*. I think I am still working out some things in my head, and I certainly know I have oodles work left to do with my communication skills before I could honestly say I have attained the goals I have touched on in this post.

Hell - I'm not even sure they made any SENSE! LOL!

~ShadeDiva

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to inyouagain)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Poly Families - 4/27/2004 2:13:27 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
stormiKnightBear,

I sympathize while agreeing with your master, (i think). I know my opinion does not count as much to you as your master's, but I think your actions were not just justified, but honorable.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Poly Families - 4/27/2004 2:17:58 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
ShadeDiva,

quote:

Nothing wrong with being a firecracker - I am something of a spitfire myself.


Depending on definintions, no you are not.

quote:

I am totally blunt. I also do not lie. Pretty much never.


There is nothing wrong with bluntness. Ask a hammer.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to ShadeDiva)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Poly Families - 4/27/2004 2:23:42 AM   
londonswitch


Posts: 77
Joined: 3/1/2004
Status: offline
GROUP HUG!

Your very own damp squib, nadine

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Poly Families - 4/27/2004 6:49:38 AM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline
Never said once Master didn't agree... He just knows how to read between the lines of my temper and what some folks called having tact.

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Poly Families - 4/27/2004 8:53:31 AM   
MsDawnbbwdomme


Posts: 52
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline
Mistress Dread, you sound wonderful.. I plan on checking out your website today as I am currently involved in a new poly relationship with my Dom husband and his female sub. I myself am a Domme. I am terribly sorry over the loss of your 2 husbands. Sincerely MsDawn

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 60
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