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ResidentSadist -> RE: The Hypocrisy (2/22/2014 2:27:49 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jewishprincess22
quote:
ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
If jello was your biggest incompatibility, I would say you had it made in the shade. We should all be so lucky. But letting jello be your first excuse to call him stupid on a public forum is a sure sign that the fat lady is signing and it's over . . . and that isn't even a core issue like poly, gay sex, intelligence or respect.
Speaking of respect, do you realize how complaining publicly, displaying ill manners and disrespect for a person you say would "definitely be there for you" and you chose to have a relationship makes you look? That is quite a collection of of bad choices you got going on.
Advice? I presume you already plan to cut your loses and bail because being Jewish and seeing BDSM in the same light can never be enough to cause you to follow someone you don't respect.
I believe explaining things from point a to b is important. I did not give out his name, I want advice. It's not making me look bad at all. We don't have a relationship yet, we haven't even met yet. I am being resourceful. Sorry that bothers YOU.
Well bless your heart, it was no bother at all. I was under the impression that saying "has paid a lot of money to come out and visit me" meant he actually visited you, as in dating. To me, dating is a form of relationship.
Bashing someone and his family in your OP, on a thread titled The Hypocrisy and asking us to talk to you about it doesn't feel like you "want advice". Seems more like asking for emotional rescue. Your OP wasn't unbiased. It didn't say you really like the guy but you clash on certain viewpoints and ask if we thought you could overcome a difference in your views.
Instead, your OP portrays that you feel he is a narrow minded, hypocritical dimwit with a family full of dumbass underpaid teachers. The OP is disrespectful, heavily biased against him, his family and displays exactly how much you don't like either of them. It feels more like your OP is looking for confirmation on a decision you already made to dump him, not serious unbiased advice to help with a decision that is in the balance. Did I miss anything?
Are you asking our advice whether or not to hook up with a dimwit after bashing him? Because later in the thread you get advice not to hook up and you say "many attributes about him are so hard to find". Seriously, dimwits with dumbass families are a quite common. Not hard to find at all. Besides, it doesn't matter if we think he is a douche-bag. It matters what you think of him. Either you think he is a dimwit or he isn't. Which is it? If we had a debate about gay sex, psychology, polyamory and Jello, would our conclusions really sway your opinion of him or change the destiny of your yet to be relationship? What if somehow we prove diet Jello really did have empty calories, is that gonna' make you want to blow him?
I think ChatteParfaitt said it best as far as unbiased advice for sane relationships, "What makes us compatible is that we don't expect to agree on everything, it's not necessary for our success". You say you both feel comparable on the BDSM stuff and you have culture and religious common ground. A good question to ask yourself is that if his judgment "seems ignorant", he has a "flawed point of view" and in general you "question his intelligence", will you trust his judgment in other areas to lead the relationship? Think of this, even if you do date him and there is chemistry . . . will you be able to submit and follow the lead of someone that you don't have full respect for?
ETA: I had this reply laying open in the background for quite a while when I was working on something. I see many questions have been answered since then. Good thing . . . anyone that hates Jello can't be in their right mind!
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