RE: Submissives & Bondage

RE: Submissives & Bondage (Full Version)

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FieryOpal -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (2/28/2014 8:48:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pg4g Well I'm also they guy angry in chains on his knees. Apparently he likes me in my camouflage pants and shirtless once I get home from a deployment. Not all fun and games for me. Ok well I guess it is. [:D] So sue me hehe Oh yeah, the shirtless with camouflage would do it for me, but soon to be pantless. No angry guy part. Willing compliance. Maybe a slight protest here and there, once he's spread-eagled.[sm=yesmistress.gif] You do have hand and foot signals, or not?

pg4g -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (2/28/2014 9:36:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal quote: ORIGINAL: pg4g Well I'm also they guy angry in chains on his knees. Apparently he likes me in my camouflage pants and shirtless once I get home from a deployment. Not all fun and games for me. Ok well I guess it is. [:D] So sue me hehe Oh yeah, the shirtless with camouflage would do it for me, but soon to be pantless. No angry guy part. Willing compliance. Maybe a slight protest here and there, once he's spread-eagled.[sm=yesmistress.gif] You do have hand and foot signals, or not? I'm generally angry cos I lost the fight or I woke up chained... That and I'm about to be beaten and tasered and then fucked for hours without mercy. So I'm either angry or moody. And generally extremely sarcastic. What do you mean by hand and foot signals?

FieryOpal -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (2/28/2014 10:11:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pg4g What do you mean by hand and foot signals? Oh, I meant safety signals, in place of a safe word. You know, in case you're gagged. [X(]

pg4g -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (2/28/2014 10:19:38 PM)
Yeah I got a hand signal for when I'm gagged. Not allowed to use it unless I'm in danger of major injury, others involved or interfering with work. If I use it due to pain or dislike, I just get tortured more. [Edited for clarification]

bondman53 -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (3/1/2014 5:37:21 AM)
Most D/s activity is performed for the sub's pleasure. I wouldn't Imagine there are many women, wives, girlfriends, etc who would want a boyfriend who wanted to be tied up and left in the spare room while she sat downstairs watching telly. It's all just games, and mostly for the sub's pleasure. Truly dominant women, i mean the real ones who dominate there partners even if they don't want to be dominated are about as common as unicorns thank god,

kalikshama -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (3/1/2014 6:52:21 AM)
quote: Most D/s activity is performed for the sub's pleasure. Assuming you mean BDSM, not Dominance/submission, none of the men with whom I have had kinky sex would agree with that. I didn't understand the rest of your post enough to parse it.

sodsta -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (3/1/2014 3:45:17 PM)
For me it's pretty simple. I like to try and fight back, and if I'm tied up it makes it a lot harder. I like the struggle and the adrenaline. I like feeling helpless when I'm essentially having the crap beaten out of me.

DesFIP -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (3/1/2014 9:55:34 PM)
My kid was in the hospital two months ago. She wasn't allowed to eat solid food but was fed via an IV. Although she got all necessary nutrients through the IV she still enjoys eating. She enjoys the taste, the feeling of fullness. Why isn't it redundant to eat when you get get the nutrients in another way? Because it just feels better. Same with bondage. It just feels good. I don't lie there bound thinking about how submissive I am. I just get incredibly turned on. I don't even view it as a d/s activity. To me, putting the bag of Brussel Sprouts back on the shelf at the grocery store when he told me to is a lot more submissive. Getting tied up and turned on is just fun.

kalikshama -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (3/2/2014 7:55:24 AM)
quote: I don't even view it as a d/s activity. To me, putting the bag of Brussel Sprouts back on the shelf at the grocery store when he told me to is a lot more submissive. Getting tied up and turned on is just fun. Amen to all of the above!

DesFIP -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (3/2/2014 8:16:41 PM)
I think the op, like a lot of people who do s & m, has the mistaken idea that bondage is just a precursor to s & m. It isn't. It's a full fetish just by itself. We don't do s & m, barring light spanking and such. Bondage for us is what s & m is for the op. And the only think it's a precursor to is hot sex.

pg4g -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (3/2/2014 9:58:42 PM)
I suppose I just thought about people tying the other up and having sex with them, and if the person is submissive anyway, wanting to do whatever the dominant person wanted, then it seemed somewhat redundant. But I of all people should know that it isn't just tied into S&M. I restrain my partner, and I don't hurt him. He's not a masochist, and if I did hurt him, he'd leave me. My restraining him is actually about him showing he trusts me NOT to hurt him despite the vulnerable position he's in. And I didn't even think of the fetish of bondage itself! What was going wrong with my mind when I posted this?

FieryOpal -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (3/2/2014 10:40:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pg4g I suppose I just thought about people tying the other up and having sex with them, and if the person is submissive anyway, wanting to do whatever the dominant person wanted, then it seemed somewhat redundant. But I of all people should know that it isn't just tied into S&M. I restrain my partner, and I don't hurt him. He's not a masochist, and if I did hurt him, he'd leave me. My restraining him is actually about him showing he trusts me NOT to hurt him despite the vulnerable position he's in. And I didn't even think of the fetish of bondage itself! What was going wrong with my mind when I posted this? Nothing wrong with wanting to know what other people get out of it. I wonder this myself at times. For instance, I get offers of "free" service subbing left and right, no strings attached. Right. [8\|] (Even if so, I can't accept those kinds of lopsided offers.) Invariably, after I've turned them down - mainly male subs but occasionally a bisexual female sub will offer maid service - they will drop the hint that they REALLY LIKE BONDAGE. I'm thinking to myself WTF? I can see bondage being a fetish with subs, and the Dominants who get into rope-typing artistry (I don't have the patience for that sort of artistic self-expression! I want to get to the sex acts. [:)] ) I view bondage for utilitarian purposes or else incorporated into BDSM not for its own sake, as more of a kink (for me) rather than a fetish. That's why I avoid fetishy bondage-type male subs because I don't consider we have compatible kinks in this regard. Am I making any sense to you, pg4g? In other words, I'm only interested in the restraint aspect of it, not confinement or keeping my partner bound for any considerable duration. This is also why I have no interest in plastic wrap, skintight rubber wear, strait jackets, and I find hood-wearing creepy as well as using pantyhose as a head covering. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I think the op, like a lot of people who do s & m, has the mistaken idea that bondage is just a precursor to s & m. It isn't. It's a full fetish just by itself. We don't do s & m, barring light spanking and such. Bondage for us is what s & m is for the op. And the only think it's a precursor to is hot sex. No question that bondage is separate from S&M. I don't do S&M either, and don't count spanking, hair pulling (more like grasping, not done hard), man-handling, light swats or a slap in the face (if sub gets into that) as being sado-masochistic. Not into inflicting pain nor immobilization--I want to keep things interactively erotic. [;)]

pg4g -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (3/3/2014 12:11:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal I can see bondage being a fetish with subs, and the Dominants who get into rope-typing artistry (I don't have the patience for that sort of artistic self-expression! I want to get to the sex acts. [:)] ) I view bondage for utilitarian purposes or else incorporated into BDSM not for its own sake, as more of a kink (for me) rather than a fetish. That's why I avoid fetishy bondage-type male subs because I don't consider we have compatible kinks in this regard. Am I making any sense to you, pg4g? In other words, I'm only interested in the restraint aspect of it, not confinement or keeping my partner bound for any considerable duration. This is also why I have no interest in plastic wrap, skintight rubber wear, strait jackets, and I find hood-wearing creepy as well as using pantyhose as a head covering. I agree. I'm not into just tying up for confinement's sake, and plastic wrap, straight jackets etc do nothing for me. You and I do seem somewhat aligned in that way. Restraints are there not for the restraints, but for the man/woman held inside those restraints. It's a means to an end - control.

mummyman321 -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (3/3/2014 2:48:47 PM)
I met a Domme once who loved to beat on a man with no bondage. She wanted to see how much he could take before his body would give in. I can say I really hated that experience. I love the bondage aspect. I am a submissive and I give my submission willingly. But I do like to be able to struggle when being beat on/teased. It allows me to exert all my energies into the play. I do not hold back. This does several things for me and my Domme. The fact I can brace during in impact allows me to be able to take a much harder hit and more of them. It also allows my Domme to use more of her energy. She can let the flogger or paddle fly with all her might. So it lets us both not to holdback and to fully get into the scene. There is also a very mental aspect of bondage. While I do give my submission willingly, the knowledge that I really do not have a choice in the matter while I am bound is an incredible turn for both of us. I may not want to say no, but having that choice detracts from the scene. Having that choice taken away allows me to go into sub space so much deeper. And for my Domme it is an incredible turn on knowing she is free to do want she wants and I could not stop her even if I wanted to. Complete physical and mental power exchange. It is a wonderful thing.

ClassAct2006 -> RE: Submissives & Bondage (3/4/2014 10:30:51 AM)
I don't think any dominant boyfriend I've ever had would agree everything was for my pleasure. I suppose they would probably say they do not want to do it with someone who is not submissive and hates it all which is slightly different, but I have never felt I controlled what went on or gave a shopping list of what I require in any sense at all. If the dom wants to use bondage then he can. I don't want to say what's allowed or not allowed as long as I'm not damaged. quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: Most D/s activity is performed for the sub's pleasure. Assuming you mean BDSM, not Dominance/submission, none of the men with whom I have had kinky sex would agree with that. I didn't understand the rest of your post enough to parse it.

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