subbibear -> RE: Degradation and names (3/6/2014 4:55:27 AM)
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I can't speak for anyone else who has replied to this thread but I will speak for myself. You are right, I do have issues, but they were not and are not really in play with regard to my comments in this thread. As for how I responded to your question, yeah well the thing is, you get to ask the question and I get to respond in the manner I choose. I chose a humorous frame of reference for my response, I am sorry if that was something you could not appreciate. My response was most definitely not made because I felt intimidated by you. I may be a submissive, but that does not mean that I am intimidated by anyone who slaps on the label dominant. No, you are not making fun of other people's fetishes, and that is good. And if being an online dominant is your fetish then I am sorry that I made fun of yours. So here is the thing. If being an online dominant for money a 'findom' is your fetish, then I suggest you take a few steps to present yourself in a serious light. On your profile you should probably not refer to yourself as a 'dominate' the word is 'dominant'. And the first words on your profile are 'Helloif' you need a space between those words. I know this seems minor, but you need to keep in mind that from the outside perspective, what you have on your profile is all that anyone knows about you. How you present yourself is very important and spelling, grammar, word choice, spacing and punctuation matter. Further, if being a findom is a fetish for you, make that clear, otherwise you just come off as another guy who wants people to send him money to abuse them. Now, once you get all that stuff in the text of your profile cleaned up, you need to go back and adjust the interests section. All that you have selected are vanilla interests. If I am interested in paying you to be a dominant, then I couldn't care less that you like fine dining and flea markets, I want to know want kind of kinks you are into, and I am gonna be looking for expertise in those kinks. So, you are gonna need to do some homework on various kinks, yeah that's right homework. To be a findom, or any kind of dom, you need to become an expert in the kinks you are offering up to me as a submissive. So as a submissive I want to know that you have been reading, and that you know what you are doing. Posting questions in the ask a submissive forum, well that just isn't homework, and frankly, if you aren't aware of it, everyone who looks at your profile can see that you posted this question and will be left in some doubt about your expertise regarding humiliation. On to the next topic, pictures. If I as a submissive am going to pay an online dominant, then I am going to want to see what I am paying for up front. I would want to see your face as well as your body. And I would expect more than just selfies in the mirror, I would expect a findom to have some pictures taken by a professional, or at least by another person. I'd want pictures that portray the findom in a kinky light, with good backgrounds, and some sexy poses. Definitely not just a single selfie, that just isn't going make me crack open the wallet. Finally, to answer your original question regarding degradation and names, being a male submissive I am into a different set of names than you would be using on female submissives. So cock sucking faggot, pig boy, cum dumpster, worthless shit, piece of shit, fuck hole, fag boy, worthless faggot, whore, cum slut- all of these and more. I also get off on being told that I was 'put on this earth for the use of real men/real women' or 'I am only good for .....' things like that. But really, it just depends on the dominant I am with, humiliation is only one element of a scene and it is something that we work out together in negotiation. So my advice to you is the same as it is to anyone, talk with the person you are going to scene with and get clear direction from them about what they want to be called or not called. Some people have specific triggers that are bad for them and it is important to respect those needs. I hope this meets your standards for an intelligent reply.
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