dreamlady
Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007 From: Western MD Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance I think my approach to it might be rare, without sounding like a special little flower. Switching is what I do as an activity, ie topping or bottoming. In a sense, I see it that way also as being separate from the D/s aspect, but I do consider myself more Dominant and I don't consider myself submissive because I control how the scene unfolds. (I have a more vivid, detailed imagination than my partners have had, I've found, as well as a greater desire to hold onto the reins at all times. ) Do you see that part of it differently, in not feeling comfortable filling the Dominant role? Or is it just not relevant to your experiences because you get caught up in the moment while scening, I mean. quote:
ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance That said, I think few people are ever 100% anything, so switches are less rare than one might think. I have to admit I haven't reread this thread to refresh my memory, so this will probably sound repetitive. I haven't seen as many submissives who are willing to own their switch tendencies, except for the ones who identify as an "alpha" submissive. Interestingly, bisexual subs are often less reluctant to explore the switch facets of themselves than the straight subs I have known (as friends or casual acquaintances, not as play partners, so I lack that dimension of information). I've noticed that there seem to be many Dominants who are more of a BDSM Top, but who see Topping as prima facie evidence of their "dominance," or who have a mental block about bottoming, as if that means that would detract from their persona of Dommliness. Until a couple days ago, I hadn't heard one actually come out and say he was a Top, not a Dom. They've referred to themselves as a spanking Top or as a sadist, but they still identified as Dominants. A lot of what I hear some submissives lament about how a Dom wasn't Dominant enough for them to consider being their Master, may be because it's an ego thing (more prestigious, or a bigger draw) for many men to call themselves Dominant rather than a switch or a Top. DreamLady
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