RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy?

RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (Full Version)

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petitespot -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 8:31:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 i used to just get frustrated, and after a while kick them to the curb. This might be a part of your problem. Women aren't fetish delivery systems.

angelikaJ -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 8:48:11 PM)
You have experience that you got with your wife. But experience and skill are not the same thing. Maybe you could find demos and things and get a refresher course and pick up some finesse?

angelikaJ -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 8:53:22 PM)
Also, since you seem to demand that people call you "lord" right away, I suspect you are trying to play with beginners. People who have been around awhile generally will not go along with that. Playing with a beginner is very different than playing with someone more experienced as far as being able to take pain. That you lose patience also hints that you are picking beginners. Some dominant partners just aren't very good with beginners. You may be one of them.

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 8:55:38 PM)
I think you're right but I do express everything t them I get lied to they say they are cool but when paddle comes to hand things change, then you have emotions which change. usually clingy and controlling,.

DesFIP -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 9:03:32 PM)
Are you asking how much experience they've had? Are you warming them up? And are you being clear that you're just looking for casual play/sex? That you have no interest in them as people, that you don't propose to care about them at all? I can't tell if you're just swinging a paddle as hard as possible the first time without discovering how much pain they like or can tolerate, or what. Or if you even know how to teach someone to increase their pain tolerance. But since you aren't interested in an ongoing relationship, I imagine that's not an option. Are you giving any positive reassurance to help them go a little further? Are you giving aftercare? Have you discussed aftercare? Because all of this ties in. Someone who is cold and uncaring, who they know won't help them process this later on, or the next day or two, isn't going to get someone willing to extend themselves. We extend ourselves for people we care about. Since you state you don't want any emotional interaction, then you shouldn't expect them to go farther to please you, when you aren't interested in pleasing them. I imagine your wife and you had a loving relationship. Which is far different from what you're now offering.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 9:04:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 I know that, I was actually introduces years ago by my wife who was a slave. I was extremely cruel back then and it was befitting. that was 30yrs. ago. I don't play the scene much but am very much the experienced master. Ive only become new to the scene when introduced to computers. What I'm hearing here is that you got used to doing things in a certain way with your wife and now you're expecting the new women you play with to be like her. You gotta stop that. Seriously. Because you know these women are not her and they aren't going to respond in the same way. Why are you still expecting to have it the same way? Come on, man, I know you have enough sense to realize how ridiculous that is. You and your wife had a history. You knew each other, could read each other, and you learned how to adjust your play to her body and her pain tolerance. Well, now that she's no longer in your life for whatever reason, you have to do the work of learning a new person all over again. There are no shortcuts and I think you know that, deep down. You're the master, so cowboy up and exercise some patience. It might also be that you're not communicating what you're looking for in a way that will attract the right people for you or you're not communicating what you want well enough to adequately screen potential partners and make sure you're both on the same page. Considering how confused I was when I read your first post, I'm betting you've got an issue there that you'll need to address before you have success. So keep that in mind and make sure you're explaining your needs and desires very clearly. And yes, I'm a dominant woman, but you don't need to address me as mistress. My screen name works just fine. So does Sylvere or Syl. Or if you want to get goofy, I also answer to Shadow Governess and Sidhe Who Must Be Obeyed. [;)]

DarkSteven -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 9:06:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 I think you're right but I do express everything t them I get lied to they say they are cool but when paddle comes to hand things change, then you have emotions which change. usually clingy and controlling,. Reread the above. Things change, and your take is that they lied. In other words, it's all their fault. You're the Top. You're in control. DO NOT blame the other person if things go south. That's Dom 101, fella.

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 9:12:21 PM)
No I can't agree on that, me and her were on;y together for 6 months that was back in 1992. I have been through several since then and have learned from each. I think you hit it on the head when you said i haven't found on as masochistic as I need. i do have many promises but no rewards. that seems to sum it in a nut shell. just something I didn't see for myself.

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 9:16:32 PM)
yes . SylvereApLeanan is the only one who seems to figure this out for me the rest ae just grasping at straws. but thank you all for your input.

searching4mysir -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 9:58:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 No I can't agree on that, me and her were on;y together for 6 months that was back in 1992. I have been through several since then and have learned from each. I think you hit it on the head when you said i haven't found on as masochistic as I need. i do have many promises but no rewards. that seems to sum it in a nut shell. just something I didn't see for myself. Am I reading correctly that you and your wife were only together for 6 months and that was 22 years ago?

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 10:00:51 PM)
yes she was the introduction not what I've developed into.

searching4mysir -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 10:04:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 yes she was the introduction not what I've developed into. And yet you expect everyone who comes after to follow in her footsteps and you compare them to a failed relationship?

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 10:08:36 PM)
no I don't that is the infantile answer i would expect form someone who is looking for confrontation or to try to prove their worth as i would expect. I do take each slave on an individual basis. you should read the other post earlier

angelikaJ -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 10:24:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 no I don't that is the infantile answer i would expect form someone who is looking for confrontation or to try to prove their worth as i would expect. I do take each slave on an individual basis. you should read the other post earlier That was not an infantile answer. She wasn't looking for a confrontation. She was looking for clarity. You are the one who came here for help and asked the question. If you don't like the answer you should be adult enough to just take what you like and leave the rest. You are the one who is having lousy luck with the women you choose. When people try to help you, you should be gracious or at the very least, polite. Again, experience does not equal skill, neither with implements nor communication.

metamorfosis -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 10:26:54 PM)
As a matter of fact, people have been pretty nice so far. It's just that you're not making much sense.

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 10:29:40 PM)
you'e right but if they read the earlier statements then they would have know it was covered. no disrespect but I have not time for repeating myself. i don't do it with my slaves and I don't do it with anybody else. but thank you anyway

FightingChains -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 10:37:22 PM)
Post Deleted

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 10:38:40 PM)
sorry to sound disrespectful to others, I already have had me situation answered. the rest of this is just is just some input.

angelikaJ -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 10:39:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 you'e right but if they read the earlier statements then they would have know it was covered. no disrespect but I have not time for repeating myself. i don't do it with my slaves and I don't do it with anybody else. but thank you anyway For you to perceive it as an infantile answer by someone looking for confrontation, means to me that you took offense. You see, what people aren't mindful about "taking offense" is that it is not some passive thing. You chose to take offense. That is kind of a time waster too, wouldn't you say? [;)]

GoddessManko -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 10:41:30 PM)
According to your very strict expectations OP, there are very few subs who would be a good fit and you need to know that from the starting gate. You need to compromise on your own expectations and be accommodating to the best of your ability. Maybe your ex was incredibly compliant and you're just now being hit with that reality. In any case, there has been a heavy decline in the dating pool intellectually, in my opinion in the past 10 years or less so just expect the search to be interesting if you do have high standards and refuse to settle. :-)

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