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"Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 6:01:45 AM

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Hi,

I have no experience with casual BDSM play. All mine has been in a relationship. I understand in casual play a scene would start and stop. But my question is: do you have scenes in your relationship?

I personally have random spontaneous encounters with my partner, sometimes when I initiate and call the shots, sometimes when he does. I don't do role play or anything like that. I suppose I don't see any real "sceneness" to it. It's just how we roll, S&M or controlled sex is sort of part of our everyday life, a spontaneous encounter here, a rough dominated fuck there, drag me down to the garage for a bashing every now and again. We just are ourselves and let control be grasped by whoever wants it when they want it. I know this will be a little odd for most because we're switches, but you get the gist as to how it randomly and seamlessly fits into the relationship.

Would you call your exploits in a relationship "scenes" or how would you characterize "play" in your relationship?

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 6:07:38 AM

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From: Exiled
Status: offline

FC, has your partner ever taken you out into the middle of nowhere, opened up "the bag of tricks", calmly hung lengths of rope from his belt, put zip ties in his back pocket, sorted through his back pack checking his list:

Duct tape [check]
Bolas [check]
Single tail [check]
Hand cuffs [check]
Flogger [check]
Water bottles [check]
100' of rope [check]

Then gazing deep into your eyes with a wicked gleam, says to you "By the way, you should've started running when you got out of the car".

Jus sayin
Exiled

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Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 6:12:12 AM

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From: Down the Shore
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I don't do casual "play" either. I have only been a part in what I would call "scenes" when I was with my man, in a public dungeon. And even that was very rare.
They were times when I kinda knew he was going to get creative or elaborate. There was a gleam, a glint, a growl. It was like a warning or an unspoken message saying "this is gonna get ugly". But if you are asking if we ever sat and talked about what we were going to do, plan it out and execute? Nope. The role playing and planning a "scene" would feel like play-acting to me within the the parameters of a relationship.

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 6:28:44 AM

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Joined: 3/18/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

FC, has your partner ever taken you out into the middle of nowhere, opened up "the bag of tricks", calmly hung lengths of rope from his belt, put zip ties in his back pocket, sorted through his back pack checking his list:

Duct tape [check]
Bolas [check]
Single tail [check]
Hand cuffs [check]
Flogger [check]
Water bottles [check]
100' of rope [check]

Then gazing deep into your eyes with a wicked gleam, says to you "By the way, you should've started running when you got out of the car".

Jus sayin
Exiled

No, he hasn't. I tend to wake up in the trunk of a car in the middle of the night when he got ideas, driven to the middle of the Australian outback. He opens the boot and shows me his knife, hand cuffs and cat o nine tails. "You have 30 seconds."

He's such a bastard. I can't sleep soundly due to him.

And you think I'm kidding? I'm not. Truck Stop and outback sex is his kink.

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 3/29/2014 6:54:11 AM >

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 6:50:45 AM

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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains
Would you call your exploits in a relationship "scenes" or how would you characterize "play" in your relationship?

We don't exactly "play" (eg: engage in bondage, sadism or masochism). The closest we have is sex and no, it isn't a scene. It's just a part of our life. Carol is asleep right now. Were I to go wake her up and get a morning blowjob it'd be just that rather than a "scene".

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 7:40:57 AM

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I also don't casually play. We don't scene meaning plan out what's going to happen or role play. I rarely know when or what is going to take place. The element of surprise and the anticipation of not knowing what he has in store is a huge turn on to me.

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 7:51:22 AM

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Ok... I have news for you then, that is a scene. Unless he planned to eliminate you and was pretty sure you would never be found again, he was doing a scene.

And btw, Exile, that sounded hot.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

No, he hasn't. I tend to wake up in the trunk of a car in the middle of the night when he got ideas, driven to the middle of the Australian outback. He opens the boot and shows me his knife, hand cuffs and cat o nine tails. "You have 30 seconds."

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 8:04:59 AM

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quote:

Do you have scenes in your relationship?

Sure. The logistical difference between former casual play partners is that in my relationship, there is more cuddling afterwards, and then I feed us something I prepared earlier or that is in the crock pot.

Oh, the orgasms are better too

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 8:06:10 AM

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quote:

I tend to wake up in the trunk of a car in the middle of the night when he got ideas, driven to the middle of the Australian outback. He opens the boot and shows me his knife, hand cuffs and cat o nine tails. "You have 30 seconds."

Sounds like a (great) scene to me too!

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 8:53:12 AM

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Yes, I'd say a lot of them are scenes. Mostly because I've got this real toy thing going on and most of those toys are in the basement. We do play for several hours at a time (the S/m part) so it's literally a 'get ready' kind of thing. We might go down there at 8:00 PM and come back up for post play snacks/drinks somewhere in the early morning hours. (One time, we were back upstairs around midnight and it was a shock.) It's kind of hard to swing a whip anywhere else in the house.

On the other hand, when it's more the grab him by the throat, throw him on the bed, and just use him kind of stuff? I don't call those instances "scenes" at all. That's just Me taking what I want on a whim.

Did that help or make sense in any way?

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 3/29/2014 9:01:11 AM >

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 9:06:16 AM

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Speaking as a 'bedroom Dominant' or 'Service Top', as I've been termed, pretty much everything I've done in the past has been a 'scene', but I also look at life in general as just a long, drawn out play filled with innumerable scenes that occur everyday. I'm sure this muddies the waters a bit, but that's my two cents on it.

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 1:51:39 PM

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Most of my non-vanilla sexual experiences are scene or somewhat-scene, which is fine with me, because I'm there for the scenery.

There will always be grunting, and panting, and soft sweet yelps, and sweat, clenched fingers and toes, arched backs, tensed thighs, warm fluids, and drawn-out sighs. Adding some elaboration for heightened enjoyment is no different than wielding a flogger, except that it plumbs into the mental fugue and draws out deeper (and possibly darker) joys.

If you enjoy it, do it. If not? Do what you enjoy.

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 2:27:30 PM

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I suppose the reason I don't view that as a scene is there is no defined "start and stop"- it just comes naturally as part of who we are. I feel like being a sadistic controlling bastard and I start something at random. When I'm over it and we both had a great/awful time, we go back about our lives, and I look after anything he needs, a bit of ad-hoc aftercare if we feel it's necessary. He plans things if he's feeling like he wants to be a rat-bastard, and then springs it on me.

I suppose it is all labels anyway. We'd just call them "encounters" to avoid the connotation with roleplay, and to avoid the idea that we "start this, then end it" but I suppose who care what we call them?

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 3/29/2014 2:29:54 PM >

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 2:36:15 PM

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I have those "encounters" with somebody I don't have a "relationship" with, we're just friends, we tend to go riding together, often very early in the morning, I know he has a thing for jodhpurs, crops and whips, so if we come to a nice secluded place, I might just grin and politely ask him to have a break and bend over, the ride back is usually a bit more painful for him, and if I think he should remember it for a few days, I am nice enough to apply deep heat before and after tanning his butt.

We're both very happy with the arrangement, but happiest is possibly hubby, as he I am then usually quite relaxed and in a great mood for the next few days.

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Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 5:30:34 PM

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Yes we have scenes but they don't really happen all that often. Scenes for us are sorta informally and very casually planned. He has a rough idea of something he wants to do but let's it all just happen organically, sorta the same as sex for us.

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Everything has changed

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 6:43:31 PM

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We rarely do roleplay. Which is sad, people should dress up more.

But scening here means he's pulled out the rope bags. Dug out the bag of assorted clamps. The one of wooden spoons. Etc.

Not just him pushing me down, spanking and pinching, but using accessories.

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RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 7:34:26 PM

DanielleofMists

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In our house we will head out to the playhouse and he'll play one (or more) of us and then we'll head back into the house afterwards. I guess that might be classified as a scene. But we don't role play the M/s part of our dynamic it is how we live. The "rough dominated fuck" that's a very common occurrence and I wouldn't classify that as a scene or play. He is dominant and sadistic and we have submissive personalities so we are ourselves and it's obvious in all our interactions. Our SM play is how we have fun in our relationship.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/29/2014 7:36:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains
I suppose it is all labels anyway. We'd just call them "encounters" to avoid the connotation with roleplay, and to avoid the idea that we "start this, then end it" but I suppose who care what we call them?

It's funny that you mentioned this. I tend to avoid the word session because people confuse it with pro dommes or things scheduled by the hour.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/30/2014 8:37:58 AM

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains
I suppose it is all labels anyway. We'd just call them "encounters" to avoid the connotation with roleplay, and to avoid the idea that we "start this, then end it" but I suppose who care what we call them?

It's funny that you mentioned this. I tend to avoid the word session because people confuse it with pro dommes or things scheduled by the hour.

I'm sure when "tk" hears "Your ass is MINE, bub," he knows it's on like Donkey Kong!

Jus sayin
Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: "Scenes" in Relationships - 3/31/2014 5:20:56 AM

Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

FC, has your partner ever taken you out into the middle of nowhere, opened up "the bag of tricks", calmly hung lengths of rope from his belt, put zip ties in his back pocket, sorted through his back pack checking his list:

Duct tape [check]
Bolas [check]
Single tail [check]
Hand cuffs [check]
Flogger [check]
Water bottles [check]
100' of rope [check]

Then gazing deep into your eyes with a wicked gleam, says to you "By the way, you should've started running when you got out of the car".

Jus sayin
Exiled

No, he hasn't. I tend to wake up in the trunk of a car in the middle of the night when he got ideas, driven to the middle of the Australian outback. He opens the boot and shows me his knife, hand cuffs and cat o nine tails. "You have 30 seconds."

He's such a bastard. I can't sleep soundly due to him.

And you think I'm kidding? I'm not. Truck Stop and outback sex is his kink.

but the snakes!! don't you worry about snakes. and spiders. and all those poisonous critters! and god forbid you should have ever encountered a drop bear while naked!

_____________________________

20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub

(in reply to FightingChains)

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