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RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 1:44:21 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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As always Lauren, a well articulated post.

You stated what I believe to be the core issue, the mistaken belief that mentors should somehow be 'above the fray' and remain dispassionate in the same way the mods are.

We are not mods. We are not staff.

We are merely sending letters out to new posters to welcome them to CollarChat and point them to a few links they might find useful (like TOS). We answer any initial questions they have, like where to post their question. Nothing more.

My understanding it is that the intention was not to alter the general tenor of the forums and make it a place where people (yes even mentors) could not speak their mind.

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Post #: 21

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 1:53:01 PM

VideoAdminChi

Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
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quote:

Just to add, I'm *very* much in favour of a newbie section. In the way I've pictured that, newbies would be *strongly* directed there first. Long termers would turn up to talk to them as and when they felt like it, but most crucially, when they felt like being kind, helpful and patient. Said long termers would no doubt be nice in relation to certain newbies and their questions, but not others. If the latter, the long termer simply sods off and says nothing.

There is no newbie section yet, but you have described our concept for it.

We currently enforce a gentler tone in Introductions. This section would be expanded. Certain types of threads would be moved there, and all posters would be held to a civil tone. Regulars who want to be patients and helpful are welcome; others will be directed to post elsewhere.

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Post #: 22

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 2:24:22 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

I have no problem stepping up and saying it. I'm a Mentor and I'm happy to be one. I like helping people and I do have the time to do so. Any flak that we may be been given here on CM for being Mentors is absolutely nothing compared to the hate we're getting in the FL group Collarme Refugees. No matter though. I can handle it, I'm a biggie girl. lol

NBMG

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Post #: 23

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 2:31:50 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi

quote:

Just to add, I'm *very* much in favour of a newbie section. In the way I've pictured that, newbies would be *strongly* directed there first. Long termers would turn up to talk to them as and when they felt like it, but most crucially, when they felt like being kind, helpful and patient. Said long termers would no doubt be nice in relation to certain newbies and their questions, but not others. If the latter, the long termer simply sods off and says nothing.

There is no newbie section yet, but you have described our concept for it.

We currently enforce a gentler tone in Introductions. This section would be expanded. Certain types of threads would be moved there, and all posters would be held to a civil tone. Regulars who want to be patients and helpful are welcome; others will be directed to post elsewhere.

If I can play devil's advocate there, maybe somebody who is staff would really keep an eye on that, because I can see such a section being a prime harvesting ground for scammers and other less desirable characters. I can also see socks and trouble makers trying to pretend to be newbies just to have a reason to bitch...

You know if that happens in real life, I can really see it happening online....

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Post #: 24

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 2:36:35 PM

crazyml

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Joined: 7/3/2007
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Well this whole question of whether mentors are expected to remain above the fray is largely why I asked the question about guidelines.

To me, the term "mentor" implies a level of responsibility....

If mentors are simply there to greet then they should be called greeters.

If they are to be a secret group, then mentors should not include a reference to their role in their sig line (as most don't).

In the interests of disclosure, I was on the welcome wagon team and volunteered to be a mentor, but didn't make the cut because one or more of the existing mentors objected.

Now, I will admit that I was somewhat taken aback by the idea that people would be selected as mentors despite not having the maturity to work as part of a team with people that they don't like, but I support the idea in principle.

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Post #: 25

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 2:38:18 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
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I'm a mentor and I haven't noticed much drama myself. I'm neither obsequious not ingratiating, but then I don't get in someone's face, either. I'm just a Joe with a friendly Hello.

Based on statements made to me on the other side by CM folk who have never posted in the forums, I would say that having an open area where newbies can explore and learn the ropes before taking on some of the heavyweights would be encouraging.

I have been told before, in fact, that, "No...I would never post! With the one wayers and people who think they know everything about how it's all supposed to be, no! Why would I put up with that just to try and get to know people and hold a conversation??"

Now whether that is the way it is, over here, or not, consider that this is the view of an outsider who has never posted. If you felt that way, would you post here? And since the answer is probably going to be "no", what would make you feel more comfortable doing so?

I think what mentors can do for people could make the aforementioned commentary far less likely to crop up. The newbie section would also be helpful in "breaking people in" to the social structure here. I'll do my part and help people as possible, and if I can't I have no qualms pointing them in the direction of the person or people I think would help them best. It appeals to my helpful side, and given the kind of comments that have been directed my way on the other side, it also appeals to my social sense.

If anyone else feels otherwise, by all means, express it, make suggestions, for that matter I'm sure if you felt that strongly (and have a solid point to make) you could express it directly to someone on staff. The folk on staff here, to my knowledge, have always been willing to consider and discuss salient ideas.

A part of me wonders why this would even be an issue for anyone at all in the first place, anyhow, but then, it's always fun to peek over the fence to check on the neighbours.

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Post #: 26

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 2:51:20 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Well this whole question of whether mentors are expected to remain above the fray is largely why I asked the question about guidelines.

To me, the term "mentor" implies a level of responsibility....

If mentors are simply there to greet then they should be called greeters.

If they are to be a secret group, then mentors should not include a reference to their role in their sig line (as most don't).

In the interests of disclosure, I was on the welcome wagon team and volunteered to be a mentor, but didn't make the cut because one or more of the existing mentors objected.

Now, I will admit that I was somewhat taken aback by the idea that people would be selected as mentors despite not having the maturity to work as part of a team with people that they don't like, but I support the idea in principle.

Crazy, actually I think you would make a good mentor, unlike me you are usually more diplomatic. Personally I don't think I have the skills to be a mentor, but to be honest, the work the mentors put in greeting new people and making them feel welcome in the introduction thread inspired me to sometimes go there and just offer a friendly hello, so they will feel welcome. I'm pretty sure you could do the same even without being an official mentor.

I have the feeling this is less about the mentor badge (and the sig line was taken off as - from my understanding - everybody bitched about them and attacked them personally, which by all means is a shitty thing to do) but just to make people feel welcome.

If somebody decides to skip the introduction and just jumps the fray, the same rules don't really seem to apply, you know, the difference between somebody in training and somebody claiming to work in a job. I have a lot more patience with anybody in a shop telling me "Sorry, new, just learning" than somebody acting like they know it all and then putting their foot in.

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(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 27

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 3:21:37 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Crazy, actually I think you would make a good mentor, unlike me you are usually more diplomatic. Personally I don't think I have the skills to be a mentor . . . .

I think that to be a mentor you'd have to be quite even tempered and balanced, Lady C, so it's not really a job for a femdom.

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Post #: 28

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 3:23:10 PM

VideoAdminChi

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Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline

I can see we'll need to have some discussions before you post in the New User/New to BDSM section

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Post #: 29

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 3:31:14 PM

LadyConstanze

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Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Crazy, actually I think you would make a good mentor, unlike me you are usually more diplomatic. Personally I don't think I have the skills to be a mentor . . . .

I think that to be a mentor you'd have to be quite even tempered and balanced, Lady C, so it's not really a job for a femdom.

Hey, you stayed in our house for a few days and you're still alive, how much more even tempered and mellow do you want?

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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Post #: 30

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 3:36:54 PM

PeonForHer

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I could see that you'd been taking lessons from your two Dobermans on how to be cultured and ladylike, Lady C, and I very much applauded the results.

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Post #: 31

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 3:45:38 PM

LadyConstanze

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Joined: 2/18/2005
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Sod that, I have a deal with the fish monger and the butcher now, I gained new respect for them and their jaws, seeing Aflie crush a salmon head (they are quite big fish and the heads raw seem to be very dense) was one of the most disgusting but oddly also most fascinating moments I ever had. H has a much more delicate stomach and his lunch said hello to the toilet bowl. Kia of course charmed the fish monger, it almost went wrong when he offered her a mussel and she spat it right back at him, luckily he had a sense of humour and offered her a tiger prawn instead, which she gratefully accepted, of course cooked tiger prawns are natural prey for wild Dobies...

You'll be very pleased to know that raw food agrees with their tummies and there are less gassy emissions now, so you can drop in again without a gas mask...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 32

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 4:14:30 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
To me, the term "mentor" implies a level of responsibility....

I think you will find many that agree with your definition. I am not a mentor, but I remember when I was part of
the Welcome Wagon, I had some concern that it would stifle my interactions with others on the message boards.
I can sometimes be a little less than kind in how I respond to some posts, and knowing that new members might
be looking to me as an example of forum behavior did have me sitting up a little straighter. In the long run, had the
program continued, I would probably have stopped posting altogether eventually, simply because I wouldn't have
enjoyed the scrutiny, and perhaps selfishly, I would not have wanted to stifle my participation on the boards for
the sake of retaining a few new potential posters.

I would hate to see any of the mentors lose their joy in posting as their authentic selves simply because they also
happen to devote some time to helping out the site. In the long run, I see good things coming from this program.
Perhaps a different word could be used, just so there isn't any future misunderstandings? Forum guide perhaps?

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(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 33

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 4:19:04 PM

MissToYouRedux

Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Perhaps a different word could be used, just so there isn't any future misunderstandings? Forum guide perhaps?

I like this idea, because frankly the "mentor" identification of the "schooling" that followed a newbie's second post was jarring.

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Post #: 34

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 4:23:24 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
If mentors are simply there to greet then they should be called greeters.

<snip>

Now, I will admit that I was somewhat taken aback by the idea that people would be selected as mentors despite not having the maturity to work as part of a team with people that they don't like, but I support the idea in principle.

Just an opinion, of course, but I can see why this site didn't want to use the same term (greeter) as the other site. Even though it's basically the same thing, there would have been accusations abound about how this site was trying to be more like the other one and blah, blah, blah. Maybe they might want to consider going back to calling the program the welcome wagon after the dust settles.

While I'm completely not suited for that kind of thing, I happen to support the idea behind it, too.

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RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 4:27:03 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

What are you all referring to?

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530 DAYS

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Post #: 36

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 4:27:50 PM

LadyConstanze

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Joined: 2/18/2005
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I only know a few of the mentors, please forgive me if I leave anybody out, but to mind spring Fluffy, MC, NBMG - all of them seem to be graced with the patience of saints

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Post #: 37

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 6:29:43 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

Ah, caught up now... That was awful...

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Post #: 38

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 7:06:45 PM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I only know a few of the mentors, please forgive me if I leave anybody out, but to mind spring Fluffy, MC, NBMG - all of them seem to be graced with the patience of saints

Thanks Lady C! Smooches
I don't think I am particularly patient. But I do like this place, and if I can help just one or two new and interesting posters want to stick around, then my time will have been well spent. I have a wonky schedule, but I only really work 3 shifts a week. I have the time and I've always had the idea that I should leave anyplace I've been a little bit better than it was when I arrived. If I can do that to a tiny extent then I'll be happy.

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Post #: 39

RE: Forum mentors, guidelines and "screening crite... - 3/29/2014 8:51:56 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminGamma

Screening process initially was how long they have been a member, any violations and types, and the amount of time they had to help.

After a few members were brought on board, I also started looking at if there had been conflicts between any that applied and existing mentors. Didn't want the possibility of conflicts in a group environment for a pilot program like this.

A list of mentors will not be made public. I will not see them attacked further. They stepped forward to help, and because of one mistake made by one member, all of them are being subjected to vile and abusive accusations. As a moderator I have been subject to the same, it is part of my job, but I am not going to post a list that WILL be used by some to just attack them.

If they want to say who they are, it is up to them. They make themselves known to new members with a welcome letter.

Thanks you for being a part of CollarMe,
Gamma

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I wonder if the mods would be kind enough to post a list of the forum mentors, along with the guidelines they are meant to operate by, and the screening criteria that are used as part of the selection process.

I ask in the interests of transparency, and to see if this info can shed any light on some of the rather "courageous" choices of mentor.

Many thanks in advance.

quote:

And one more thing... if you are ExiledTyrant or think he is just tops, you do not qualify for the mentor program.

You seemed to have missed a rule there Gamma, but have no fear, EXILED IS HERE!

Jus sayin
Exiled

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(in reply to VideoAdminGamma)

Post #: 40

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