RE: Insecurity

RE: Insecurity (Full Version)

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ExiledTyrant -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 9:36:54 AM)
Cobalt, I've read on here numerous times where a Lady or poly /s would simply love a male /s that can get primal and be damn serious about it. I think your desirability and fuckability is escalating after each revelation. Jus sayin

CobaltRose -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 9:40:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Cobalt, I've read on here numerous times where a Lady or poly /s would simply love a male /s that can get primal and be damn serious about it. I think your desirability and fuckability is escalating after each revelation. Jus sayin Thanks man. If my Mistress asks to be "fucked like a bitch" i will. Because even if She is under me, screaming in pleasure, She is still in control.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 9:48:25 AM)
Exactly! I see it is starting to make sense to you now. I am very happy for you Cobalt.

CobaltRose -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 10:02:33 AM)
I would alsolike to say thanks because i gotten enough confidence to upload a nude self picture. I aint the best looking, but im proud of my body.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 10:05:55 AM)
Again, AWESOME! I like the avatar that you are using over here, keep that as your primary photo. Our Ladies and girls don't like seeing nudes as a primary, and in all honesty I don't much care for it either... I'll get her naked eventually. Jus sayin

CobaltRose -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 10:10:57 AM)
Oh dont worry, the nude photo is an additional photo. And i plan to replace the nude photo once i can get a photo of me while hard. Btw, unrelated, why is there a max weight option but no min weight option? I like BBW! I mean, i love all types f sizes but i really like big girls. Also one of my sub side's fantasies is to suck and drink cum from a bunch of transexual mtf cocks. It really turns me on. I dont want anything up my ass though. Hard limit.

FieryOpal -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 10:45:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose Oh dont worry, the nude photo is an additional photo. And i plan to replace the nude photo once i can get a photo of me while hard. Btw, unrelated, why is there a max weight option but no min weight option? I like BBW! I mean, i love all types f sizes but i really like big girls. A few words of advice which I hope you'll find helpful. Please don't do a fully nude shot either frontal or rear-view. We gals (male subs message female subs frequently hoping to get lucky with any female) get spammed daily with dick pics & ass pics, and it gets to be awfully tiresome. Basically we don't want to see a guy's junk until and unless we have an interest in him, otherwise it's visually distasteful. A Domme will ask you (although you can offer, just don't do it right off the bat) for a nude photo when the time is right, and when that time comes, be prepared to be cam-verified. Too many stolen pics getting passed off as the real deal, you know. Do not, under any circumstances, include an erection shot in your photo gallery. It makes you come across as desperate, horny, and shallow. DO indicate in your profile text that you're into BBWs. That's always helpful for the larger ladies to know. Avoid getting graphic about the T&A part of it, however. I noticed you mentioned in your profile that you are "hairy." Unless you are hirsute or excessively hairy everywhere, I would omit that word. If you're referring to your facial hair or having longer-length hair, your primary pic already shows this, so no need for over-emphasis. "Hairy" is just not a very sexy descriptor and seems more like a warning.

CobaltRose -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 10:54:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose Oh dont worry, the nude photo is an additional photo. And i plan to replace the nude photo once i can get a photo of me while hard. Btw, unrelated, why is there a max weight option but no min weight option? I like BBW! I mean, i love all types f sizes but i really like big girls. A few words of advice which I hope you'll find helpful. Please don't do a fully nude shot either frontal or rear-view. We gals (male subs message female subs frequently hoping to get lucky with any female) get spammed daily with dick pics & ass pics, and it gets to be awfully tiresome. Basically we don't want to see a guy's junk until and unless we have an interest in him, otherwise it's visually distasteful. A Domme will ask you (although you can offer, just don't do it right off the bat) for a nude photo when the time is right, and when that time comes, be prepared to be cam-verified. Too many stolen pics getting passed off as the real deal, you know. Do not, under any circumstances, include an erection shot in your photo gallery. It makes you come across as desperate, horny, and shallow. DO indicate in your profile text that you're into BBWs. That's always helpful for the larger ladies to know. Avoid getting graphic about the T&A part of it, however. I noticed you mentioned in your profile that you are "hairy." Unless you are hirsute or excessively hairy everywhere, I would omit that word. If you're referring to your facial hair or having longer-length hair, your primary pic already shows this, so no need for over-emphasis. "Hairy" is just not a very sexy descriptor and seems more like a warning. Thanks for the advice. I made sure the nude photo was not my main one, but i still uploaded because i am comfortable with my body. And i listed my self as hairy because i like being honest and dont want complaints that they "didnt know i be this hairy"

GoddessManko -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 11:04:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose Oh dont worry, the nude photo is an additional photo. And i plan to replace the nude photo once i can get a photo of me while hard. Btw, unrelated, why is there a max weight option but no min weight option? I like BBW! I mean, i love all types f sizes but i really like big girls. A few words of advice which I hope you'll find helpful. Please don't do a fully nude shot either frontal or rear-view. We gals (male subs message female subs frequently hoping to get lucky with any female) get spammed daily with dick pics & ass pics, and it gets to be awfully tiresome. Basically we don't want to see a guy's junk until and unless we have an interest in him, otherwise it's visually distasteful. A Domme will ask you (although you can offer, just don't do it right off the bat) for a nude photo when the time is right, and when that time comes, be prepared to be cam-verified. Too many stolen pics getting passed off as the real deal, you know. Do not, under any circumstances, include an erection shot in your photo gallery. It makes you come across as desperate, horny, and shallow. DO indicate in your profile text that you're into BBWs. That's always helpful for the larger ladies to know. Avoid getting graphic about the T&A part of it, however. I noticed you mentioned in your profile that you are "hairy." Unless you are hirsute or excessively hairy everywhere, I would omit that word. If you're referring to your facial hair or having longer-length hair, your primary pic already shows this, so no need for over-emphasis. "Hairy" is just not a very sexy descriptor and seems more like a warning. I have to completely agree with FieryOpal here. She's been giving you great advice as well as the other posters. The nude frontal shot is unnecessary. I have one pic and my head isn't even on it, and even when I change pics I always have just the one so new subs don't know whether or not I have additional photos. Your head shot is good enough and most women, Dom, sub or otherwise would find it off putting. They care more about your personality than your c*ck. Coming into your own as a Dominant comes with good decision making in everyday life. That comes with some level of experience and practice. You have to become your own person and not be easily swayed by the opinions of others. As a Dom you have to be someone your submissive can trust and believe in so first you have to be that way yourself. I would find a mentor as others have said to show you the ropes (pun intended). As you learn how to do things within the lifestyle I think it will boost your confidence tremendously. For women, it's a bit easier because we have a lot of nay sayers, so that coupled with a strong personality= Dark Horse so Exiled was right to point you in our direction, haha. [;)] Thanks for that inclusion too Exiled and I agree with the list entirely, good day to you!

FieryOpal -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 11:08:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose Thanks for the advice. I made sure the nude photo was not my main one, but i still uploaded because i am comfortable with my body. And i listed my self as hairy because i like being honest and dont want complaints that they "didnt know i be this hairy" That's nice that you are comfortable with your nudity, but would you undress in front of a group of women in public? Even if you were raised on a nudist colony, most of us weren't raised in households strutting around naked all day long. It's your call, but sometimes less is more. A partially nude photo (UPPER half), the ubiquitous shirtless photo is a whole lot sexier and leaves the rest to the imagination. Use the word "hirsute" instead of "hairy"--you'll sound more intriguing that way.

CobaltRose -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 11:10:59 AM)
Ok i think i will delete the nude pic. Im sorry if i didanything wrong.

FieryOpal -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 11:24:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose Ok i think i will delete the nude pic. Im sorry if i didanything wrong. That's all right, you didn't know, and no damage done. Most men come onto this site feeling that they can finally let it all hang out and assume women are the same. We're different--we're women. It never hurts to err on the side of caution. Thanks for being such a good sport. You wouldn't believe how many people get defensive while asking for advice if it's not what they want to hear. [:)]

CobaltRose -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 11:29:30 AM)
No problem. I only wish to be my best? Hey, is it wrong i want to be a househusband? Cooking and cleaning while my wife/ Mistress goes to work? Because poetry is the only thing im really good at, and that dont pay well.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 11:33:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Cobalt, then you would be a very nice find for someone. There are quite a few BRILLIANT women on this site that I am going to encourage you to talk to, that will really help you define and understand yourself better. So I am going to blow the whistle here and hope they come see you. MistressDarkArt LadyPact LadyLaffette FireyOpal MsLadySue GoddessManko NiceButMeanGirl Laday_Constanze TNDommeK Please forgive the spelling, and there are a dozen more that I hope will take the initiative and come here or PM you. Exiled aaawww Thank you. NBMG

FieryOpal -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 11:40:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose No problem. I only wish to be my best? Hey, is it wrong i want to be a househusband? Cooking and cleaning while my wife/ Mistress goes to work? Because poetry is the only thing im really good at, and that dont pay well. Somebody else will have to answer this for you because I'm not into househusbands or male wives--not my thing. But there are women who are, usually within an FLR-Female Led Relationship of one sort or another. I'm kind of old-fashioned when it comes to that, but I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you are pulling your weight, keeping up with what's expected of you, and don't become a burden to anyone. Hint: It helps if you're very organized, keep on top of your household duties (cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, plus repairs in addition to the yardwork--remember, this isn't a role reversal, and whoever is better at a given task should be the one handling it while the other partner pitches in to learn or can serve as back-up, ideally), good at childrearing, but most of all, really good in bed. [;)] [Edited for typo]

CobaltRose -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 11:56:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose No problem. I only wish to be my best? Hey, is it wrong i want to be a househusband? Cooking and cleaning while my wife/ Mistress goes to work? Because poetry is the only thing im really good at, and that dont pay well. Somebody else will have to answer this for you because I'm not into househusbands or male wives--not my thing. But there are women who are, usually within an FLR-Female Led Relationship of one sort or another. I'm kind of old-fashioned when it comes to that, but I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you are pulling your weight, keeping up with what's expected of you, and don't become a burden to anyone. Hint: It helps if you're very organized, keep on top of your household duties (cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, plus repairs in addition to the yardwork--remember, this isn't a role reversal, and whoever is better at a given task should be the one handling it while the other partner pitches in to learn or can serve as back-up, ideally), good at childrearing, but most of all, really good in bed. [;)] [Edited for typo] thanks. I only wish to pull my own weight. Plus it would also give me time to do my neo paganism activities.

CobaltRose -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 2:46:14 PM)
Sorry about the double post. Anyway, i hope i get some more advice, and maybe even find someone kind enough to help me out. I may just be a poet whose only sexual expirence is cybering, but i feel if only given the chance to prove myself i might become great catch. Also should i look for women or wait for them to come to me?

FieryOpal -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 3:37:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose Sorry about the double post. Anyway, i hope i get some more advice, and maybe even find someone kind enough to help me out. I may just be a poet whose only sexual expirence is cybering, but i feel if only given the chance to prove myself i might become great catch. Also should i look for women or wait for them to come to me? You're allowed to do multiple quotes. I would try to limit it to a triple quote or else the post size starts getting out of hand. Unless you're referring to the other thread you started on "Service Top" earlier this afternoon. Up until yesterday and today, my estimated ratio of male subs (CM's largest demographic) to Dommes was approx. 30:1 or more. I won't count female Switches because there aren't very many classified as such, and some of them are bisexual and may not be actively seeking a male partner at this time. You've arrived at an unusual time when there is an exodus taking place. The impact to the number of male subs may not be affected significantly, but the few eligible Dommes may have dwindled down in size. Females can afford to pick and choose on this site; therefore, you need to get your game on if you want a competitive edge. Not that it doesn't happen, but if you wait around for women to contact you (other than for commercial purposes), you might be waiting a very long time. Consequently, you must be more pro-active here than you would have to be on a vanilla dating site where the numbers are more balanced. You're a man, so if you come across a profile that interests you, make the first move, and personalize your contact message. Don't go lurking around assuming that showing up on the Viewed list or even adding a profile to your favorites will motivate a woman to contact you. It doesn't work that way. Minimum two full sentences, two paragraphs would be better. If you don't fit somebody's parameters they've set for their mailbox, your message could go directly into their Buik (spam) Mail and get automatically (manually) deleted. It's always best to make sure you fit the basic criteria specified, with minimal wiggle room allowed. If in doubt whether you can "sell" yourself, go ahead and give it a shot. Whatever you do, don't send a boiler-plated form letter.

CobaltRose -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 4:08:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose Sorry about the double post. Anyway, i hope i get some more advice, and maybe even find someone kind enough to help me out. I may just be a poet whose only sexual expirence is cybering, but i feel if only given the chance to prove myself i might become great catch. Also should i look for women or wait for them to come to me? You're allowed to do multiple quotes. I would try to limit it to a triple quote or else the post size starts getting out of hand. Unless you're referring to the other thread you started on "Service Top" earlier this afternoon. Up until yesterday and today, my estimated ratio of male subs (CM's largest demographic) to Dommes was approx. 30:1 or more. I won't count female Switches because there aren't very many classified as such, and some of them are bisexual and may not be actively seeking a male partner at this time. You've arrived at an unusual time when there is an exodus taking place. The impact to the number of male subs may not be affected significantly, but the few eligible Dommes may have dwindled down in size. Females can afford to pick and choose on this site; therefore, you need to get your game on if you want a competitive edge. Not that it doesn't happen, but if you wait around for women to contact you (other than for commercial purposes), you might be waiting a very long time. Consequently, you must be more pro-active here than you would have to be on a vanilla dating site where the numbers are more balanced. You're a man, so if you come across a profile that interests you, make the first move, and personalize your contact message. Don't go lurking around assuming that showing up on the Viewed list or even adding a profile to your favorites will motivate a woman to contact you. It doesn't work that way. Minimum two full sentences, two paragraphs would be better. If you don't fit somebody's parameters they've set for their mailbox, your message could go directly into their Buik (spam) Mail and get automatically (manually) deleted. It's always best to make sure you fit the basic criteria specified, with minimal wiggle room allowed. If in doubt whether you can "sell" yourself, go ahead and give it a shot. Whatever you do, don't send a boiler-plated form letter. Well, part of me is having trouble finding anyone who would be interested in me. They are either after a full dom or a full sub. I am alittle of both. So....will i be forced to make a choice? Must i become a full dom and risk breaking from the pressure to always be the best, or become a full sub and risk being humilated and losing my say in things.

FieryOpal -> RE: Insecurity (3/31/2014 4:27:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose Well, part of me is having trouble finding anyone who would be interested in me. They are either after a full dom or a full sub. I am alittle of both. So....will i be forced to make a choice? Must i become a full dom and risk breaking from the pressure to always be the best, or bdcome a full sub and risk being humilated and losing my say in things. Perhaps a straight or bi male Switch can weigh in. You might want to check out some of the threads on the Ask a Switch forum. From what I understand, S/switches run into this issue frequently. Your young age, combined with inexperience, counts against you as a Dom. Female submissives literally put their lives in the hands of Dominants and must feel safe and secure, even more so than your average young lady. They tend to prefer older men for the most part. If you classify yourself as a Dom prematurely, this will be the kiss of death. Dommes such as myself seeking a male sub will absolutely exclude a Dom profile. I barely started to consider straight male switch (with a small "s") profiles last year. If you classify yourself as a sub, you will get accused of not being "subbly" enough. Your best bet is to check off the Switch box, then explain in your message that you are more of a service Top. Make no mention EVER of wanting to do any face-fucking cuz that ain't happening. If you get blessed with a kind Mistress, she may possibly reward you from time to time by having her female sub service you in that manner. You'll have to earn this privilege one way or another, or get assigned to train a new female sub under your Mistress's direction. It would be wonderful to be able to have your cake and eat it too, but nothing gets handed to you on a silver platter in life, as you should already know.

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