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Marc2b -> My Collarme: Past, Present, and Future. (4/2/2014 8:24:09 PM)
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PAST
It all started seven and a half years ago when circumstances left me home alone one evening with nothing to do and feeling kind of randy. So I went on the net and started looking for whack off material. I don’t recall the exact words I entered into the search engine (knowing me it was probably something like: slave, woman, chains and whip). I just know that I was soon lurking through a website called Collarme. I liked it. I came back to it.
I don’t recall how long I lurked (a month or two) before I started posting but after a few of the usual newbie stumbles I was soon exploring a new community. Since then I have laughed uproariously, seethed with anger, felt the warmth of affection and the itch of annoyance. I have regarded posters with admiration or indifference or contempt. I have felt friendship and loathing. I have seen through the obvious bullshit of some, been fooled by others.
I have seen posters come and I have seen posters go (and come back and go again). Some have been gone so long I have forgotten them unless something prompts my memory. Some I dearly miss, others . . . good riddance. A few, sadly, have died (one of the best people the Collarme community was ever privileged to know).
Overall I have enjoyed my journey through Collarme so far. I have been serious, playful, petulant (a few times, I admit), wistful, whimsical, crude, mischievous and, upon occasion, slightly rebellious (I sometimes like to skate up to the edge – and maybe a little over – just to see what will happen). Collarme has been something of a refuge where I can vent my feelings about certain subjects with four letter words and vile pictures (what can I say? I really loathed that fucker).
I have had some moments of deep reflection about certain presumptions. Sometimes I have stood my ground, sometimes I have walked a few steps (perhaps with pleasure, perhaps begrudgingly) in one direction or another. In terms of political and social outlook I am not the same person I was seven years ago. Collarme has been part of the reason for that change (it might be time for me to change my profile but that will be a project for another day).
I do not want to overstate the role Collarme has played in that process. Most people’s thinking changes over time (pity those who remain static, for their feelings harden along with their arteries). Indeed, I don’t want to overstate the role Collarme plays in my life. In the grand scheme of my life, Collarme ranks in the same category as books and music and my Game of Thrones DVDs - entertainment. Sometimes informative, sometimes challenging but still entertainment. If Collarme were to disappear from my life I would be disappointed. I would not be devastated . . . but I would be really disappointed.
PRESENT
It really does sadden me to see these conflicts erupt. It all seems so pointless. I feel like I am standing on a distant shore, watching my beloved city burn. I do not know how much I do or do not know about what “really” happened so I don’t know how informed they will be but I have a few opinions on the mater nonetheless. One of the areas of apparent conflict concerns the treatment of newbies.
There are different types of newbies. One is the sincere but naïve newbie who asks a question we have all heard oh so many times before. Some of them will ask it nicely. I think these newbies should be treated with equal respect. Everyone starts out as a rookie. Some will ask not so nicely. I think these newbies should be responded to firmly but politely. The other type of newbie is the obvious troll or drama king/queen. In these cases I think the Mods should let go of the leashes and say, “SIC ‘EM!”
There seem to be some long simmering personal vendettas that have gotten quite nasty. I don’t know what else to say except that perhaps it is time to just let it go people. I have a few resentments of my own and that has led to a decision.
I don’t have many people on Block/Hide. I enjoy honest debate and I enjoy good natured back and forth teasing. I can take constructive criticism. I do not, however, tolerate outright character assaults. If I feel my personal honor has been besmirched I call the other person on it. If their answer does not satisfy me they become persona non grata. I also have no tolerance for outright haters (racists, homophobes, etc). They too go on block/hide.
But I also believe in occasionally doing something radical like seeking reconciliation. So I have decide to clear out my block/hide list. Perhaps things can be better this time around. I will, however, have no problem putting people back on the block/hide list if my personal honor or ethics as noted above should be violated again.
So how about it, folks? Care to join me in binding up the wounds of Collarme? I don’t know if it will work but it’s worth the try, ain’t it?
A note to the site owner. You got something good here. It has changed people’s lives and I think, for the most part, for the better. Don’t let it die.
To the new moderators. Far be it from me to tell you your job but . . . I’m going to tell you your job. Actually, I’m just going to give a piece of advice. Please remember that the most important aspects of your job is honesty and impartiality at all times. I know that ain’t fucking easy but that is what you must strive for. That is your sacrifice so that the rest of us can fucking play. In the bar hopping, party car, of Collarme, you are the designated drivers. I know I speak for more than myself when I say (to moderators past as well as present) that your efforts are appreciated – even if we do sometimes treat you like the police officer who just pulled us over for speeding.
On that note I would like to say that, while I won’t contest the recent pulling of a certain thread, that sock was cool. I don’t care what anybody says. That was a cool fucking sock. I went to a lot of trouble thinking that sock up and I’m going to find a use for it. I’m not sure what but rest assured . . . I’m cooking something up.
FUTURE
I don’t know. It is my sincere hope that Collarme will continue to be a part of my life in the future. I plan on sticking around. I hope to get on well with everyone. Now that the National Guard has arrived and started restoring order to the streets (boy, would you just look at the mess we have to clean up) I suspect things will just carry on.
I plan to carry on. I plan to carry on laughing and seething and feeling affection and contempt. I plan to carry on being serious and playful and wistful and crude and occasionally to skate up to the edge (and maybe a little over) just to see what happens. Should either I or Collarme ever decide that that is no longer possible, then we will part ways. I really do not see that as happening, though.
A word on FetLife. I have long railed on FetLife. Partially because I don’t like their layout, or color scheme and partially just as bombastic fun. “I’m a Collarme guy! Collarme! Yay! FetLife? Boo! Hiss!” Cue the Collarme Anthem (oops, we need an anthem).
Anyway, curiosity got the better of me and I signed up so I could see what all the hub bub was about. I have to say that I’ve warmed up a little to the place. I still prefer Collarme’s layout and colors to FetLife's. Click between the two in rapid succession. Go ahead. The difference is literally black and white. The light side and the dark side. It’s kind of weird. Oh, by the way, having been to the dark side I will say that it is true what you’ve heard – they have cookies. What they don’t tell you is that the cookies are Pecan Sandies (bleah, dry crumbly things). While Collarme will remain my main hangout, I think I will pop in on FetLife now and then (I just won’t be eating the cookies). It was good seeing some old faces over there that I hadn't seen in a while.
Anyway it is getting late and I need to get to bed. So I’ll end with this blatant piece of emotional manipulation.
Goodnight, Collarme.
See ya tomorrow.
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